Encouragementology

Restoration Through Forgiveness & Freedom

What are you carrying around that you can’t seem to let go? Is it forgiving a loved one, a person who has wronged you or is it forgiving yourself? Whatever is creating the baggage, you can’t achieve freedom when you are bound by your past. Why can’t you move on? I’m not suggesting this is easy or something you should have figured out by the end of this show but I am hoping you will open your heart and mind and consider a new perspective. Restoration  - becoming whole, mending the broken, giving new life…...let’s try it. 

We have all experienced some level of hurt. Whether we were mistreated, left brokenhearted, or lost our faith or trust in someone, we all have felt pain.

We cannot change the past. We also cannot change people. With this in mind, it is important to remember what forgiveness is really about. Forgiveness is not about erasing the past. The past can never be erased. It isn’t simply forgetting what has happened. Sometimes it’s beneficial to remember the pain so we don’t have to endure it again. It is not about making someone else see their faults or expecting your forgiveness to change their behaviors.

Time to get honest with yourself….Are you trapped by your reluctance to forgive? Someone has wronged you and it’s just too monumental to simply forgive...and move on? Wow well, we can’t even go there! If you could change the situation what would you do? If you could do anything but change the initial circumstance since that’s an easy one but the only one we CAN’T do….what would you do?  

Much research has been done on the personal, intrapersonal benefits of forgiving, and the detriments of not forgiving another. That is, studies show people unwilling to extend forgiveness to someone who has done them harm will often withdraw from social relationships and tend to experience deep loneliness. Additionally, a loss of trust occurs more often than not, discouraging them from ever developing future close relationships. Depression and anxiety are often leading causal reasons, but one particular motivation often overlooked is deeply rooted in stress.

Now you have the steps but what about the “why” - not only will it mentally relieve you of the responsibility of harboring this anger but it will benefit your overall health and wellness. We always have to remember what these toxic emotions can do to US. Every day you have a responsibility to yourself to live the best day you can. Life is so short and life with the effects of bad health can feel forever in torture. 

Maybe it’s YOU, you can’t forgive. The shame and guilt of choices you’ve made in your past keep looping in your mind, consuming any joy that threatens to permeate your self-loathing. What a dark and lonely place that can be. How can you climb out? 

When your mind isn’t being consumed with negative thoughts that play at a crippling volume you are free to pursue your dreams. You have time and energy and an open road to move forward. 

You may want to take your time and just enjoy the space and time. What got you into a place of resentment will always need care - it may be the way you are wired so you will always have to be mindful of your knee-jerk reaction. When you can see it and stop it, you are using a different part of your brain, you are growing. 

Each day, take an inventory of your feelings, your energy and where you want it to go today. Find gratitude first thing and continue to focus on the little things that you can appreciate throughout your day. Collect these as if you are collecting a bouquet of flowers, each tiny daisy will add fullness to your day. Be kind to yourself…..personal growth isn’t always easy and doesn’t come without challenges so don’t let the first bit of resistance take the wind out of your sails. Adjust them to pick up the wind and carry on. 

CHALLENGE: Take the step to freedom today for YOU. Accept what can not be changed and let go of what can’t be controlled, forgive. Start new in a fresh direction where freedom and self-care are valued and cherished.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Patience, Everything in Time

So they say patience is a virtue but what does that mean? It is defined as behavior showing high moral standards is the definition but why is that important to our day-to-day. Of course, having high moral standards is important but it doesn’t tell us the value of patience. 

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Harriet Tubman

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. Joyce Meyer

Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent. Billy Graham

Lots of good advice there but it doesn’t make the process any easier. Patience and be painful and sometimes what trumps success. Let’s look at it from a few didn’t perspectives to see if I can shine some new light on some strategies. 

Patience requires restraint. In a world that moves by at the speed of light without much thought to the overall picture or quality of life...patience requires us to slow down and be mindful.  

When we feel like we have all the answers and with a little more hard work we can make it happen and happen faster, patience makes us wait. Relax and wait. Where timing and growth meet. 

When we are frustrated because nothing is turning out the way we expected and we just can’t seem to catch a break, patience reminds us that life is still moving and things are still evolving and we aren’t finished yet. 

Another perspective says: "Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty, or annoyance without getting angry or upset." 

Notice how impatience arises when we’re not getting our way—specifically, when people or our environment aren’t conforming to our expectations, even in circumstances over that we have no control (for example, the flow of traffic or the length of a line). Our expectations are often out of synch with reality. 

Recognize the stressful feeling, and FREEZE FRAME it. Take a time out.

Make a sincere effort to shift your focus away from the racing mind or disturbed emotions to the area around your heart. You can pretend that you are breathing thru your heart to help focus energy in this area. Keep your focus there for ten seconds or more.

Recall a positive, fun feeling or time you’ve had in life and attempt to re-experience it.

Now use your intuition, common sense and sincerity-- ask your heart, what would be a more efficient response to the situation, one that will minimize future stress?

Listen to what your heart says in answer to your question. It's an effective way to put your reactive mind and emotions in check and an in-house source of common sense solutions.

These are just ideas and strategies to try and isn’t that just it…..not sure anyone is born with patience - you lose your cool, your force things to happen, you fall on your face, things don’t work out the way you want, then hopefully….you regroup and try something new. …..is that where you are?

By cultivating a practice of patience, you’re able to let go of things outside your control and live with less stress, anxiety, and frustration. When you are patient you are still and when you are still you have a chance to listen, and when you listen the universe speaks.

Challenge: Test your patience and wait - wait before anger, wait before sadness, wait before giving up. Practice patience as you listen to and for direction. Show patience with those you meet - listen, understand, encourage. There is power in patience. 

I know YOU can do it!

What More Can I Do?

What More Can I Do?

We are going to look at this simple question in 4 ways. As a plea, as a frustration, as self-reflection, and as an exploration. My goal with this show is to constantly evolve, challenge, and question life’s perceptions. You can live a different life just by looking through a different lens. Open your mind and push your perception and adopt a positive alternative to life’s little challenges. That is Encouragementology - the practice of instilling hope

So…...What more can I do? How do you hear that question? Are you throwing up your hands pleading with your maker…..What more can I do? Are you wanting an answer, some validation, or a task list? You really can look at this question in so many different ways.

Maybe you are stuck - uninspired, wanting to feel something profound and be a part of something meaningful.

Maybe your tone is one of exhaustion….What more can I do? Are you done, spent, ready to take a step back feeling like you’ve exhausted all your efforts? Before you reach this point or maybe you are there and I’m urging you to back peddle but it’s time to realize…..you can’t save the world. I’m sorry to break this to you if this is the first time you’ve heard it...but you can’t. You do not possess the power to save the world.

Maybe you are searching your own soul asking “what more can I do”  not happy with where you are emotionally or spiritually. May you are questioning your own self-concept and power.

Are you just existing in the world today not really knowing how you fit into it all? Have you bought into all the limiting beliefs that you’ve picked up through your life to define who you are? Or….are you ready to get to know the real you?

We are on a roll here….don’t stop now. You looked inside to get to know yourself - let’s keep exploring by introducing and organizing the experiences on the outside.  I want to experience more - more excitement, more peace, more joy, …..what more can I do?

First….try getting organized - Look at your month to see how you can consolidate, more items around, create more time for yourself. Start delegating - no need to be a hero. All good managers delegate responsibilities and you want to be a good manager of your life, delegate!

Stimulate your brain - Are you challenging yourself  - learning something new or are you stuck in a routine of mindless information? Just like you don’t want to feed your hunger with empty calories you don’t babysit your boredom with senseless information. your mind is craving something new.

Socialize - You don’t need to have a big group of friends to socialize. Consider a date with someone you would like to get to know better. Maybe some at work - the new guy or a person you were just introduced with.

Give - Give a compliment, give encouraging advice, give of your time, give of your resources. It’s not just saying your Mom used to keep you in line - it actually is better to give than to receive.

CHALLENGE: explore your interpretation of questions like, what more can I do? Look for other meanings and a chance to actually do more. Reward yourself with new experiences, new connections, and the freedom or letting old routines that no longer serve you...go. Step outside of the same old same old and adopt some of these ideas - change it up - you deserve MORE!

 

I know YOU can do it!

Overcoming Loss: Past, Present, & Future

Not only is loss a part of life, but it’s also a part of every day. Every day you are losing time. This can be precious well celebrated time or squandered ill-managed time. This is the choice you have. What did you choose today? Life is a work in progress so don’t beat yourself up - we are going to talk through some ideas.

Past: You can revisit your past with regret, replaying all the mistakes and missed opportunities OR you can forgive yourself for the questionable choices you might have made and help your mind find the lesson that molded the person you are today. In this find gratitude.  

Present: You can let daily challenges stop you from experiencing the joy that awaits you, keeping you stuck in a cycle while the hours waste away OR you can take each challenge for what it is, solving it or releasing it while you search for the good in the day.

Future: You can spend time worrying about the unknown of the days to come writing your future story based on the assumptions of today OR you realize that today is enough and you are learning and growing every hour and with that comes progress and peace that will get you where you need to go.

How many times have you heard - Just let it go? Get over it?

Why isn’t it that easy? Ruminating or getting stuck is a real thing.

Psychological studies state that rumination seems to be correlated to “cognitive incompetence” and “cognitive consciousness“. It means that ruminating individuals are very well aware and conscious of their negative thoughts. They think about past experiences over and over again – up to a point where the thoughts create their own reality, sometimes exaggerating or even differing from what really happened. Ruminators often believe that their rumination will lead to solving a problem, but it really creates a loop where they are stuck in their own thoughts. Cognitive incompetence means that they cannot find their way out of the loop.

Letting go can be difficult. Letting go of people, ideas, expectations, desires; letting go of bad habits, false beliefs, and unhealthy relationships... the list goes on. Every day, every moment presents an opportunity to create ourselves anew, to shrug off the baggage of the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create an incredible future.

CHALLENGE: Choose to value your time as a precious gift. Evaluate anything that threatens to steal that and replace it with worry, anxiety, or fear. Stay present and realize loss is inevitable but grief is temporary.  

 

I know YOU can do it!

Letting Go, Detaching with Love

Sometimes walking away and letting go can be the hardest thing to do. Letting go of people, ideas, regrets, routines, or desires. Hard work, focus, and even love may not be enough to control a situation and dictate the outcome. Sometimes you simply have to let go and realize it’s not your fight, it’s not your journey, and it’s not your life. But there is a way to do this...and that’s with Love.

Here’s a secret that I’m hoping is a revelation for you sooner rather than later. You can not change people. Waiting for someone to meet your expectations may be the cruelest irony. They will NEVER meet your expectations because it’s not theirs. Your hope should be they meet or exceed their own true potential. But your expectations are just that….your expectations.

Detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes. It also means being responsible for our own welfare and making decisions without ulterior motives or the desire to control others.

Perhaps the essence of detachment with love is responding with choice rather than reacting with anxiety.  The key is to stop being responsible for others and be responsible TO them—and to ourselves.

The first step of any 12-step is Admit that you are powerless. Why do you think that is an important first step?

Many people resist the term powerlessness because it contradicts much of what we have been taught. Believing you can do anything and fix everything if you just try harder and want it enough is instilled in us at an early age. The truth is we cannot do or fix everything, regardless of how hard we try or how much we want it. We cannot control the weather, war, illness, or other people.

Sometimes we just need to learn to love, listen, and appreciate that things don’t always work out the way we wanted or on our desired timeline. Walking away with questions unanswered is ok. Everyone in on their own journey and if you step back to see that it would be unrealistic for everything to go just the way you anticipated.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

CHALLENGE: Be aware of the power struggle in your own life and who’s pulling harder. Question your resistance and remember, you are worth more. Your time, your attention, your patience, and your love are worth more. Split the difference with yourself.

 

I know YOU can do it!

Managing Expectations - Setting, Meeting, & Releasing

Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen.  a belief that someone will or should achieve something. You or otherwise.

That definition tells us that this concept is attached to the outcome of getting something. This means that if you do not get the outcome it can lead to disappointment, hurt, blame and a feeling of powerlessness. We are going to talk about how to avoid those feelings by goal setting, acceptance, and letting go.

How many times have you said..”I don’t have any expectations...whatever happens, happens”, “I’m going into this or that expecting nothing…” Is that real, or a mantra you are telling yourself because you’ve been let down by your own unrealistic expectations before?

Well, guess what, You are not alone, this is a human trait. Human beings have a natural tendency to pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations.

Having zero expectations is unrealistic so somewhere you have to find a balance. If you are comforted by a routine, then you have built-in expectations and things are a little more predictable. I wake up every weekday at 6:30PM unless the alarm on my phone malfunctions then I expect to be woken up at that time. I grab my watch, phone, robe and head to the kitchen to make coffee. Unless the power is off or I’m out of coffee, I expect to have a piping hot cup of coffee after my shower. Then I head to the bathroom to get ready. Unless the water has been turned off or the gas is not heating the temperature, I expect to have a steamy shower every morning.  Daily routines come with expectations but what if we broaden our view and we start looking at our day, the people we come in contact with, the unexpected. What are your expectations?

Expectations however are only a want or need – without planning. An expectation has no weight or process around it. If we expect something, there is a sense that it should happen, only because we want it. It’s our goals that keep us rooted and provide the foundation to do or become what we want.

Expectation: desired outcome
Goal: planned route

If you have an expectation to win a race, or get a job promotion, or write a book, and it doesn’t happen, there is a disappointment. What was your plan? Was this an aimless attempt? However, if these expectations were based on goals, then you have justification to be disappointed and a reason to modify your approach. What part of your planning failed you? This is the value of creating SMART goals - specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and time-bound – which help to identify the goal, when and how to reach it, and how you will know if it’s been reached.

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Results-focused
Time-bound

Setting realistic expectations actually helps us grow and become more flexible. It helps us savor life and embrace the messy moments, which often hold more meaning anyway. And if you’ve got kids, it saves them from suffering needlessly. Because sky-high expectations are the opposite of self-compassion.

Challenge: Evaluate your wants, are the expectations or something you are actively planning for. Look at your disappointments, where they want that weren’t met or goals that weren’t realized. Take a more active role in your outcomes by putting in the work to set a goal, create an action plan, and monitor your expectations...and make sure there your expectations and not something you are doing to satisfy someone else.

 

I know YOU can do it

Dealing with the Difficult

There is no way we can know everything but we can say without a shadow of a doubt, Life is challenging, there is really no way to alter the face of that but we can look at how we embrace it. You are hit with something challenging - how do you get on top of it or around it. Are you patient and methodical or do you have a high-speed come apart? You have more control than you think. Just because it’s always the way you’ve done it doesn’t mean it can’t be changed.

Take your time, You deserve the discovery here. Sometimes we allow these things to fester because the work is too difficult or we don’t see the benefit. Then, we encounter a rough patch and we respond off the cuff...

Get a handle on your immediate reaction - by calming down and giving yourself time, you give yourself perspective.  Use the S.T.O.P. Model

• Stop whatever you're doing
• Take 3 deep breaths
• Observe how your body feels
• Proceed with kindness and compassion

Creating space in the day to stop, come down from the worried mind, and get back into the present moment has been shown to be enormously helpful in mitigating the negative effects of our stress response. When we drop into the present, we’re more likely to gain perspective and see that we have the power to regulate our response to pressure.

How do you deal in stressful situations? Do they derail your day? Affect everything else you’re doing?

What if life isn't happening TO you? What if it's happening FOR you? What if every single baby step along the way is on purpose? What if every failure was really just a lesson you needed to learn? What if every rejection was actually God's protection? What if it's supposed to take exactly this long? What if it's going to be better than you ever imagined? What if you have to walk through this valley in order to be strong enough to scale the summit? What if you were given THIS mountain to show others that it can be moved? I don't believe everything happens for a reason, but I DO believe it's possible to find MEANING in everything that happens.  Rachel Hollis (Girl Wash Your Face)

Difficult is a part of life, dealing with it is up to us. Never resolve to this is it..it is what it is and I’m powerless over change. You have more power than you believe and tapping into it will help you open doors that need to be opened and shut ones that don’t serve you well. You are in charge and knowing that is merely changing your perception.

CHALLENGE: Take the time and get to know yourself, your reactions, and your capabilities. When you feel challenged and stress, uncover the reason. It’s important to your well-being to navigate life with peace and joy and you should take all measures to ensure that. You have a choice in how you internalize and participate with difficulties in your life. Make a choice that keeps your well-being in mind.

I know YOU can do it!

In Debt or Deserving, Knowing Your Worth

Worth - the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration; the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated. I guess it depends on what IT is and the perceived value in the eye of the beholder. If that is true, why would you buy into a set value decided by someone else? We believe things like, you either have it or you don’t. It’s valuable or worthless. We get this line of thinking in our heads and then worse, we believe it and we defend it.

Absorption of ideas happens often, early in life, and in many cases, subliminally. It would be incredibly helpful if all those ideas were positive and made us feel better about ourselves and more empowered. The problem is, they aren’t. Negative self-talk is a common problem that continues to plague generation after generation. Example: Your Mother was hypercritical about herself with an unhealthy body image. She modeled this type of behavior from her Mother, who in turn, modeled it from her Mother. Little comments like “I’m fat” or “I’m not pretty enough” or ‘I’m not smart enough” floated around and become as accepted as talking about the weather. Some got comfortable with joking about it but the seeds were planted and that hurt cut deep.

Comments like “I need to lose weight” or “I hate my hair” or “I need to do X,Y, or Z before I can be happy” means you aren’t good enough now. Things will get better and you will finally love yourself WHEN you’re better.  Now, we’ve all said it and truthfully felt that way but I guarantee we didn’t know how harmful it could be. If someone would have told you that mentioning that fact that you’re unhappy with your body over and over could give your child the same complex, would you still have said it?

Words are so strong and just like they have the power to lift you up and encourage you, they have the power to tear you down and negatively influence you. Children are little sponges and you might think you are just talking to yourself but where do you think YOU got it from. Learned behavior.  If your little one past or present was following you around today, what would they be learning? If they were playing a game of “copy-cat” what would they look like? Are any of you cringing? I mean it was Monday….did you start your day enthusiastic and ready for a glorious work week? Or did you kick and scream with a sour attitude all through breakfast and off to the bus? You can evaluate your entire day - what were the lessons?

Getting to know you, strong points and weak points will help you love and accept yourself. You will always be in debt and not deserving until you come to a place of acceptance. Self-Worth is knowing and loving yourself and through acceptance, you can build on your self-esteem.

"You are a walking miracle. Repeat this to yourself daily- “I am a miracle. It doesn’t matter what others think of me or how the world thinks of me. The Universe is on my side and I know that I am meant to be here. I am a miracle.”

CHALLENGE: You have one life on earth to live and before you accept fear, failure, and self-defeat, challenge these thoughts with gratitude. Find one thing that you can celebrate to start building your bouquet. Accept that weaknesses can be re-engineered into strengths and self-love is possible. You’re worth it.

 

I know YOU can do it!

Securing Stronger Connections, The Mothering Pact

We are talking about securing stronger relationships. This is all relationships, family, friends, co-workers, spouse, significants - you name it. On a scale of barely existent to ride-or-die, where are your relationships? Do you have someone you can rely on, someone who has your back, a confidant to share with, a partner in crime, a mentor, a teacher, ….who are you missing? We are going to talk through it all AND on the cusp of Mother’s Day, we are going to talk about an idea I came up with called The Mothering Pact.

A friend of mine called me one day while she was taking her morning walk. I could tell she was worried. Her Mother had been ill for quite a while and something had just dawned on her. What would she do when she didn’t have her Mom to call anymore? She didn’t have a large family and her Mother and what little family she did have lived 6 hours away.  Who was going to fill that role for her, who was going to be there like a Mother? That sparked a conversation about all the ways we’ve connected and shared with our Mother’s over the years.

You know, she’s the person you could bounce every crazy idea off of and she would be supportive even if she knew how ridiculous it was. She is always ready to chat or go to lunch even at a moments notice. Mysteriously, she somehow always has the items you forgot at the store or could make them appear out of nowhere. She always has the right recipe to get a stain out or make the perfect casserole. Every time you drop the ball she picks it up. But most importantly, she always lets you go on and on about yourself, what is right or wrong at work, brag endlessly about your kids, and never makes you feel guilty for a one-way conversation.

As we reach a certain age,  our own kids have grown, and now our parents are aging it starts to become clear that we are the ones “in charge”. We have become our parents. When that reality hits it’s sobering. See for decades, subconsciously we knew we weren’t the final say but we had back up. You called your Mom to ask every question under the sun. She was Google in your eyes. Either she had lived long enough to have all the experiences or of course, she just knew it all.

As the roles start to reverse you are the one getting the calls. At first, it’s just about technology or how to work the cable remote but then it’s other things; how to figure out an insurance bill or what goes in a particular recipe she always used to make. It can really creep up on you and you aren’t even aware it’s happening.

It was fun reminiscing that day. We laughed and cried recalling all the wonderful ways our Mother’s had been there for us and at the end, I told her, “I will be there for you.” It was that simple. Right then and there we made a pact, a Mothering Pact to always be that go-to for each other. To listen and support without judgment and provide an encouraging word like our Mothers would have. A Mother’s bond is the first and deepest bond you create and in most cases, the most significant loss you’ll ever experience. Nurturing your friendships now can help you develop a strong support system to be there when you have cause to celebrate and when you need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to lead the way.

CHALLENGE:  Make your connections a priority in your life. Stop hiding behind busy and reach out to a friend, go deeper in your relationship, and when the time is right, create that support system to be there for one another and add a little extra joy to your life.

 

I know YOU can do it!

The Extra Mile, Giving it ALL you Got!

There are plenty of other terms we could use like, pulling out all the stops, knuckling down, going to great lengths, putting your best foot forward, leaving no stone unturned or one I had never heard of, “not resting on one’s oars”. You see where I’m going here...it’s giving everything you do 100%. Tonight, giving us a new term and a new perspective will be a very special guest, educator & author, Teri Campbell. She is going to be joining us in the second half of the show and telling us how this idea has impacted her life and why it’s important to never give up.

Now, I’m sure it’s been a long day, you are frazzled from work, the kids, the house, the pressures of life and to even consider you are giving anything less than 100% seems preposterous. But let’s take this hour and get honest. No one is watching you listening to me so you can shake your head and even stomp your feet but whatever you do - you deserve some honesty. Working yourself into a lather isn’t necessarily going the extra mile -I guess it could be giving it all you got, for now.

Somehow we got this in our head that we have to keep every plate spinning to say we’ve successfully managed our day. There are a lot of plates out there….work, school, kids, marriage, church, volunteerism, family, friends, social media,......geez saying Happy Birthday on facebook has become another plate! You feel like, “well dropped that one I didn’t post a Happy Birthday message and out of the 800+ friends she has, she will surely realize I didn’t say Happy Birthday….that’s definitely coming back to haunt me now!”

Wow, the pressure we put on ourselves to manage it all and manage it well. Busy does not necessarily = productive. In sales, I’ve heard “Busy-ness doesn’t always = business”   Why is that….you are doing a lot of stuff, getting a lot of stuff done…..or so it seems. I found a top 5 list from Upasana Bhattacharjee who also wrote an article titled: 10 reasons rubbing a Tiger’s belly will change the way you think about life. So, I thought...she must have all the answers or at least some interesting ones:

 

1. No Clear Goals: Let’s be honest, it’s like waiting for the bread to rise while the oven is powered off. If we don’t know what we are doing or our intention behind it then we really don’t have anything to measure our progress. With goals, there is a clear picture of what you’ve accomplished and what needs to be done. There’s no point being busy doing things that don’t help us achieve anything. So next time you feel like you’ve been busy all week but nothing’s really been done ask yourself if those things were goals set by you in the first place or not.

 

2. Not prioritizing: This is a no-brainer and obviously follows goal setting. As it is, we are bombarded with tons of stuff coming our way from every nook and corner that it gets overwhelming at some point. With goal setting comes the challenge of prioritizing what needs to be finished. Remember, you can’t do everything all at once but one thing at a time. It took me some time to realize this but believe me it’s made my life simpler now. Everywhere you look, everyone is in a hurry. Why shouldn’t we? We’ve got things to do. Tons of things to do! But unless we prioritize, we’ll just always be busy.

 

3. No routine: It has nothing to do with being a late sleeper. If you’re a night owl and feel you get things done more efficiently when your children are in bed then go ahead by all means. And no, it’s not that only early risers get things done well. If you like welcoming the sun and then getting things completed, good for you! It all depends on the person’s preference and biological clock. What is preventing you from not using the time properly is no routine at all. What matters is that you stick to your routine and maintain it for a period of time so it becomes your habit. We all have 24 hours in a day and no one gets an hour extra. Not even a single soul! It’s for us to devote certain extra hours either at night or morning to get things done on our priority list and make space in our schedule.

 

4. Doing a lot: To better explain this let me tell you about a waiter we had at dinner one night. The moment we finished anything, this particular waiter would come and ask us if he could clear the table. Just so you know, the table was plenty big for all the extra plates and glasses. This was a restaurant that opened recently and not many people were around and this waiter kept going and clearing away dishes and glasses from every table whenever he could while the other waiters went only at the end of the meal. Now I know that’s good hospitality but doing it, again and again, was more like an interruption. We just wanted a quiet meal and a conversation and he could have cleared once we were fully finished! This waiter was clearly doing a lot and thus it became a bit disturbing. Does this sound familiar? We find ourselves doing more, thinking the more we do (rather than sitting idle) is the way to be. Doing a hundred things that keeps you busy but not productive is a waste of time. I’d prefer doing five things that mean business compared to twenty different things that don’t.

 

5. Using It As An Excuse: But I really do have genuine things to take care of! It’s just that I am always busy and I get no time. Is this just a case of time management? It’s a sad thing but true that a lot of people have actually gotten into the habit of using being busy as an excuse. Up for a theatre show this weekend? Can’t do, I’m busy. Tried calling you. Oh sorry, been busy sorry I missed your calls! In truth, many are just plain lazy to actually come up with a better excuse. It’s disappointing because it devalues the efforts of people who are actually working hard and are truly busy.

Listen to the podcast to hear Teri talk about the writing of her book and how she leaves a legacy by always giving it all she's got! 

 

Challenge: Before you take on the next project and add another spinning plate, evaluate what you have and how productive and fulfilled you are. What you put forth will come back to you so don’t short change yourself with giving anything but 100%. You deserve it so demand it by giving it first.

 

I know YOU can do it!