Encouragementology

Letting Go, Detaching with Love

June 4, 2019

Sometimes walking away and letting go can be the hardest thing to do. Letting go of people, ideas, regrets, routines, or desires. Hard work, focus, and even love may not be enough to control a situation and dictate the outcome. Sometimes you simply have to let go and realize it’s not your fight, it’s not your journey, and it’s not your life. But there is a way to do this...and that’s with Love.

Here’s a secret that I’m hoping is a revelation for you sooner rather than later. You can not change people. Waiting for someone to meet your expectations may be the cruelest irony. They will NEVER meet your expectations because it’s not theirs. Your hope should be they meet or exceed their own true potential. But your expectations are just that….your expectations.

Detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes. It also means being responsible for our own welfare and making decisions without ulterior motives or the desire to control others.

Perhaps the essence of detachment with love is responding with choice rather than reacting with anxiety.  The key is to stop being responsible for others and be responsible TO them—and to ourselves.

The first step of any 12-step is Admit that you are powerless. Why do you think that is an important first step?

Many people resist the term powerlessness because it contradicts much of what we have been taught. Believing you can do anything and fix everything if you just try harder and want it enough is instilled in us at an early age. The truth is we cannot do or fix everything, regardless of how hard we try or how much we want it. We cannot control the weather, war, illness, or other people.

Sometimes we just need to learn to love, listen, and appreciate that things don’t always work out the way we wanted or on our desired timeline. Walking away with questions unanswered is ok. Everyone in on their own journey and if you step back to see that it would be unrealistic for everything to go just the way you anticipated.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

CHALLENGE: Be aware of the power struggle in your own life and who’s pulling harder. Question your resistance and remember, you are worth more. Your time, your attention, your patience, and your love are worth more. Split the difference with yourself.

 

I know YOU can do it!