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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Dec 14, 2021
Tuesday Dec 14, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are looking to the horizon and brainstorming without limits. All the while keeping consideration of the present and the immediately following because planning for the future DOES include tomorrow. We can daydream and visualize with the belief that the sky is the limit but to avoid a future of desert marriages, let’s add context, timelines, and a healthy dose of now and then. Don’t put off tomorrow what you could have today! Oh sure, a bit of fantasy is productive. I mean if you didn’t stretch yourself now and again where would you be - going in circles. Life is full of promise and no matter what you set as your next goal, with a little engineering and drive, you can get there. Where is there? Let’s put some color to that.
Planning for the future could take on a stodgy context of financial investments to help you when and if you retire someday. But let’s think of future planning as everything that happens, after today. It could include long-term goals, a solid financial foundation to take care of you when you are no longer pressing the gas pedal to the floor. It could be logical and logistical goals, normal for your life’s journey. Education, career, house, family. It could also be to bake in a bit of fun - vacations, vacation homes, travel, hobbies, additional business opportunities. It could be more personal and emotional in nature - more rest, better health, stronger friendships, volunteerism, giving back.
Just think about it. No really….that’s what it will require. You to think, challenge yourself, possibly step outside your comfort zone, and then push yourself to take action.
We could carry on with the mechanics of life just getting by with our health, wealth, spirituality, and personal relationships and more than likely be ok. But don’t you want more? More experiences, more love, more enlightenment, more purpose?
As you sit here today…what comes to mind? Maybe you’re the most organized and have lists upon lists of what to do today, this week, month, or year but maybe you are thinking….hmmmmm I don’t know where to start.
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: Planning for the Future Includes Tomorrow
- Future planning is everything that happens, after today
- Inspiration awakens us to new possibilities by allowing us to transcend our ordinary experiences and limitations
- Inspiration is best thought of as a surprising interaction between your current knowledge and the information you receive from the world
- Don’t be afraid to share your ideas and allow your team space and a little creative control to help you shape your vision
- Significant experiences are the events in your own personal history you remember because they made you feel good, satisfied, engaged, invigorated, inspired, in the flow
- Daydreaming can inspire happiness if you purposefully engage with meaningful topics, such as pleasant memories of loved ones or imagined scenes of triumph in the face of all odds
- Research has shown that imagining scenarios as visual scenes can provide a boost in mood to people suffering from major depression.
- Change begins with the hope of what’s possible in your life
- A short-term goal is the smallest step you need to reach a bigger goal centered around achieving something you passionately desire
- Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.
CHALLENGE: Let your mind wander with a good mix of fantasy and potential reality. When inspired, take action with short-term goals that will propel you forward. Involve your support group to add additional color, flare, and some much-needed encouragement.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we are taking a big breath and counting to three, 1-2-3 - ahhhh as we identify and calm the frustration of anger avoidance. Are you tired of putting on a brave face while weathering the storm, all the while being poked, prodded, overshadowed, and coerced? Frustration is the emotional build-up when a person gets very irritated and disappointed from a certain situation over some time, and at some point, this frustration comes out as anger. Anger is the result of frustration; an emotional response that is shown verbally and physically. Cool your jets. Ok, not that easy but let’s get to the root of all the pent-up frustration and find out why you haven’t been able to effectively express yourself. Ready to smell a flower and blow out a candle?
I’m rarely angry or lose my temper. That’s not to say that I don’t get frustrated but being a problem-solver by nature, my first reaction is to figure out how to get out of any situation without the heightened emotions. As I delve into the times I’ve been frustrated as an attempt to uncover a common thread, I would have to say when I feel out of control or overwhelmed. Sometimes those feelings are synonymous with each other.
Not that I’m a control freak by any nature...ok maybe a little, but the feeling of not being able to change a hopeless situation is frustrating. When I have a day packed with deadlines and more to-do’s than humanly possible I get overwhelmed and as a result, can feel frustrated. The frustration is because I know I will power through instead of giving realistic timelines and expectations or just saying no - I don’t have the capacity to take on one more thing.
Identifying your feelings and triggers is so important. I saw a chart in a cozy corner of a Head Start daycare when I was visiting. The chart had a series of faces and labels depicting different moods and emotions. There was also a picture of a flower and a candle. I asked the teacher what this corner was all about and she said it was to help the children accurately identify their feelings in a safe space. Many of them come in feeling frustrated but through this exercise might actually identify with feeling sad or tired. They might say they are mad but in reality, might feel lonely or unheard. I was so impressed by this early identification that I immediately thought about my only children and what I did or didn’t teach them. I mean think about it, where does one learn this level of emotional identification at such a young age? Curious about the flower and candle, she showed me the exercise. When a child is frustrated, simply telling them to breathe may not be effective enough. But having them smell the picture of the flower and then blow on the picture of the candle is essentially breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. GENIUS!!
KEY HIGHLIGHTS - The Frustration of Anger Avoidance
- Emotional labeling is the practice of cultivating emotional literacy
- Naming your emotions immediately releases their grip over you and reduces physiological distress
- Words matter. If you’re experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to consider what to call it
- Feeling responsible leads to action but for many, it leads to hopelessness and overwhelm, burden, frustration, and despair.
- Confrontation can be very anxiety-producing and painful, and many people mistakenly believe the best way to deal with these feelings is to put them out of your mind
- Angry energy can be highly productive or destructive. But you can use it productively to sharpen up your boundaries so that you don’t get mad about being used, manipulated or disrespected
- Change negative self-talk into positive self-talk. When we talk badly about ourselves, we start to believe what we are saying which perpetuates the bad feelings.
- We can find the good in negative emotions, once we accept the idea they are just part of the journey of life, and they will eventually lead to better times.
- Anger is the energy that helps you achieve a balance between giving and taking and helps you set healthy boundaries for yourself.
- We are all learning and growing and making the commitment to evolve with a new and better understanding.
CHALLENGE: Take time to understand the origin of your emotion and search your feelings for the right label. Proper identification is the start to unraveling the root. Create health boundaries that give you a safe space to react and appropriately express yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 30, 2021
Tuesday Nov 30, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we’re aimed at having a real talk without judgment. Show disclaimer, no matter what your involvement is with drugs or alcohol, you can benefit from the awareness of casual consumption, substance abuse, and addiction. We have all been impacted on some level either directly or indirectly and the threat is not going away. Almost 21 million Americans have at least one addiction, yet only 10% of them receive treatment. We can’t take our eyes off this problem and sweep it under the rug hoping it goes away. Taking away access to drugs and alcohol only solves one issue but not the underlying reason for abusing in the first place. There is help and it starts with an awareness and an honest look at your life and those around you. Do you need help or can you help?
I am a woman in recovery. Eight and a half years ago I started my journey to self-discovery. It started with a hard look in the mirror to address my own issues and need for change vs unsuccessfully trying to change and control everyone around me. If I wanted different, I had to be different. The first thing that had to go was my reliance on alcohol. Some might have seen a casual drinker always ready to unwind and have a good time but I was far from casual. I was consistent. I consistently drank more than I should more often than reasonable. I had a problem.
The realization that a change needed to happen came before my revelation and subsequent call to action 8 years ago but like many, I started with negotiation. I will only drink on weekends, only have wine with dinner, only consume when there is a special occasion. Good intentions to limit myself yes, but not successful. One day I was in a doctor's office waiting room and saw a magazine article on abstinence vs moderation and how our brain is wired. Whoa! I had an ah-ha moment and sorry to say, ripped out the article. This made so much sense to me. See someone people can say, I will just cut down but I could never stop….eating bread for instance. Where others claim they have no self-control when it comes to eating bread so it’s better if they never start.
That’s me! I remembered all the time I tried to moderate and how mentally exhausting that was. Making bargains, paying close attention to the clock, rationalizing my next glass, and of course, ultimately being disappointed in myself. Abstaining or quitting meant, that’s it…..no games, no bargains, no disappointment. So eight and half years ago, I gave it a try and I succeeded.
I couldn’t find the exact article I read even though I’m sure it’s tucked into some journal I have but, here is a little more behind that idea. This might be a revelation for you and a way to get us started…
DEBBIE ROES - ARE YOU A MODERATOR OR AN ABSTAINER? Found at mywardrobemyself.com
At 12keysrehab.com I found: The Stages of Addiction: How Casual Use Evolves into Dependence
Let’s wrap it up with 13 BENEFITS OF LIVING A SOBER LIFE from silverlinings
KEY HIGHLIGHTS - Casual Consumption, Substance Abuse, and Addiction
- If you want different you have to BE different
- An Abstainer decides one time that something is off-limits and that’s it; the temptation is gone.
- Studies show that children and adolescents between ages 12-14 and 15-17 are at the highest risk for initiation of drug and alcohol use.
- When regular use of drugs or alcohol is occurring, individuals are likely using to the point where other areas of their lives begin to suffer.
- Once you have developed a dependence on drugs or alcohol, it is only a matter of time until you reach the final stage of addiction, which is a full-blown substance use disorder.
- Problem drinking does not mean that a person has a physical dependence or addiction to alcohol, but more so defines the risky or potentially unhealthy behaviors associated with their drinking.
- Problem drinking may occur frequently or infrequently, but typically results in negative experiences or problems in a person’s life
- If you struggle with substance abuse or addiction, living a sober life will improve your life immensely.
- Due to the toxicity level of alcohol and drugs, when you chronically abuse them, your immune system lowers
- With this newfound information, you can craft a new life for yourself that best fits your personal needs.
CHALLENGE: Seek to understand your role and responsibility in consumption and recovery. Freedom comes without hindrance or restraint and you have the power to own your life’s outcomes moving forward.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 23, 2021
Tuesday Nov 23, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show... we aren’t sitting back, enjoying the ride, and hoping to be entertained. We are seeking an “ah-ha” moment to awaken our minds as we educate and stimulate vs occupy. Now don’t get me wrong, zoning out is fun and has its place. Binge-watching tv or hosting a movie marathon for pure entertainment is fun. But with everything, we’re striving for a healthy balance. Spending too much time letting the world influence you instead of you making the impact might be short-sided. There are more resources now vs ever for you to make an intentional pursuit of knowledge. What do you want to know? Have you ever thought about what lights up the brain and when it might be more on autopilot? Well, just like the rest of your body, it needs healthy food and exercise to survive and thrive.
The topic of awakening your mind has been one I’ve kept in focus since my Father went to live at the VA nursing home. He has since passed but he struggled with Parkinson’s and dementia. Watching his mind slip away was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life to date. My father was a professor, an artist, an analytical thinker, an emotional communicator, and a compelling speaker. He had no trouble commanding an auditorium or captivating a five-year-old with a theatrical story.
His voice was the first to go. He said it felt like he was being hushed from within and eventually it was hard to hear or understand most of what he said. Who would have known that shortly after my father retired from the university he would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s? No one. It made me step back and see that precious reality with new light. We will never know what type of cognitive capacity we will have as we age. Nothing is guaranteed.
If you truly believed that, would it make you look at today, differently? What would you want to see, do, hear, taste? Would you waste an hour or try to fill it with everything you find important in life? Would you search for a new adventure or seek the comfort of routine? Why wait for a diagnosis? You can live that way now. Intentionally seeking and pursuing knowledge and experience.
Maili from trackinghappiness.com helps us with: How To Live Life With Intention (4 Actionable Ways)
Living Your Purpose in Everyday Life
KEY HIGHLIGHTS - Awaken Your Mind, Educate & Stimulate vs Occupy
- Nothing is guaranteed. If you truly believed that, would it make you look at today, differently?
- Mind is awareness. Mind allows us to shine a light on body, emotion, and brain.
- When our health suffers, consciousness suffers. Fatigue, poor nutrition, overweight, low fitness, and distress destroy our capacity to awaken the mind.
- To be a good parent, leader, or friend recognizing the different ways life unfolds in a calm, respectful and empathic manner, enables creative responses.
- Living with a plan is all about making stuff happen instead of letting stuff happen to you, about staying on your path and not getting sidetracked by life’s distractions.
- Be the curator of your own life, take full advantage of this power, and make sure that everything in your life is there for a reason.
- You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold
- The world needs your awakening. And as you awaken, those who are just about ready will recognize through you that they are ready.
- Both progress and setbacks are said to greatly influence our emotions. So the earlier in the day you can feel successful, the better—feelings of excitement help fuel behaviors that will set you up for success.
- Like other muscles in your body, if you don’t use the brain, you’ll eventually lose it. This means it’s crucial to exercise your brain and keep it stimulated
CHALLENGE: Balance time-wasting and mental preoccupation with a healthy pursuit of the “ah-ha”. Challenge yourself to learn, share, and grow. You are the personal trainer of this muscle, your brain. Create a regime that will stretch your limits but result in big payoffs.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 16, 2021
Tuesday Nov 16, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we will be exposing the elephant in the room, exploring the why behind defiance or hurt feelings, and embracing a new perspective with hopefully understanding and tolerance. We’re aimed at addressing the power imbalance instead of avoiding it. Of course, we will come at the subject from many angles. The abuse of legitimate power and the misuse of perceived power. It may be helpful to use a personal and professional lens to understand what it means to push back and find your voice and when it’s appropriate. We should also be mindful of our own power and suitable use and squander. The word mindful may be the buzzword of the decade but it really is the key to understanding. Mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s about being aware from all angles taking into account all involved.
When one hears the word bullying or to bully the first thought, at least for me, is the big boy on the playground picking on the smaller boy. It dawned on me even though that was my first thought, it in no way represents all the facets of the subject and in fact, is a much too narrow view. So I looked up the definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). With my first impression of bullying I can say, I don’t have any first-hand knowledge. As a child I was always, for the most part, self-confident and extroverted. I might have been viewed as a leader instead of a follower. I can’t recall a time where someone picked on me at least to the point that it did harm or that I carried the memory with me.
But, when I consider the actual definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). I can think of many times that I have been or have been attempted to be coerced. In an attempt to seek harm? I’m not sure, intentional or not, it could be viewed as harmful. Perceived as vulnerable? Anytime someone is uninformed they are vulnerable so if you want to split hairs, and I think we should for this purpose then yes. With this new perspective on the definition, I can safely say, we’ve all been involved in a power imbalance at one time or another.
Now, I’m not going to bash the news and social media (even if mentioned) or go on a political tangent. Coercion is all around us. My goal is to shed some light and new perspectives that we can take on our journey of self-discovery. Knowledge is power! I think we can all start there.
KEY HIGHLIGHTS - The Power Imbalance, Addressing vs Avoiding
- Anytime someone is uninformed they are vulnerable
- Coercion is forcing someone to do something by making threats. It’s an attempt to control a person’s behavior with force or manipulation.
- Malicious put-downs, name-calling, and frequent criticisms are all forms of bullying behavior.
- Coercive control is a pernicious form of domestic abuse that entraps you in a hostage-like situation
- If you are in a coercive situation, whether professionally or personally, it is important to seek support.
- “Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity… Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.”
- The greatest mistake we can make is believing our words have no value in other people’s lives.
- Words filter through us and seep into our community, where they are absorbed then reasserted by others to people they know.
- Meeting people where they are and helping them with the burdens they carry today seems a more lucrative act of kindness and compassion.
- What you speak over your life is what your life will become.
CHALLENGE: find your voice and speak life and love into others as well as over your own life. The power imbalance shifts when you expose the discrepancies while gaining knowledge about your own thoughts and opinions.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 09, 2021
Tuesday Nov 09, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show… we are letting go of the rope, lowering our voices, and raising our chins because we’re determined to keep the power and drop the struggle. What are we fighting for anyway? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that? What are you holding on to so fiercely that you can’t even fathom that there might be another side, a different perspective, or a better answer? We aren’t talking about life’s ups and downs that can cause the endless rollercoaster of adulting. We are talking about the struggles that we create. Let’s explore them from all angles to see if we can find some wiggle room. Here, we will need to climb up high for a different vantage point because on the ground slugging it out, we only see what’s right in front of us or what we want to see.
I sometimes think, what’s all the fuss about? Standing back and taking it all in, it seems like everyone is mad about something. Tension is high all around us. I’ve heard, “if you don’t stand for something, you stand for nothing.” Bold statements like that have me thinking...oh no, what do I stand for?? I mean, I don’t want to stand for, nothing! Quick….what do I stand for?
Well, guess what, I have a lot of thoughts, opinions, and ideas. What I don’t have is the need to share them all the time with everyone. And even though I have the gift of gab, I don’t feel compelled to be to loudest one in the room or the last one talking.
Now, maybe that’s just me and you might feel otherwise. Maybe you have a passion burning within you and a push to get everyone to see it, believe it, and buy into it. But even though we aren’t on the same page or see everything eye-to-eye, does that make one of us wrong? What if we were both right even though we approach life totally differently. Is there room in your world for me to be right too? Does my being right, necessarily make you wrong?
Perceptions are in the eye of the beholder as are points of view. It’s what’s make us uniquely different. It also helps push us to learn, flex, adapt, and grow.
Mel Schwartz L.C.S.W.. helps us with: A Shift of Mind
KEY HIGHLIGHTS - Keep the Power, Drop the Struggle
- Perceptions are in the eye of the beholder as are points of view. It’s what’s make us uniquely different. It also helps push us to learn, flex, adapt, and grow.
- Perspective-taking is seeing things from various viewpoints. Perspective-seeking is basically looking at things objectively rather than picking a side.
- When we have a broad mind and attempt to understand both sides of the coin, we grow.
- There will always be two sides to every story. So take both in and try to understand objectively.
- One of the most prevalent—and damaging—themes in our culture is the need to be right.
- Being quick to defend or preach a different point of view means you aren’t making space for opposing opinions.
- Acknowledgment and acceptance of a differing worldview is a powerful act of understanding, self-confidence, and compassion.
- You are a unique miracle of existence. You will make mistakes and succeed, help and hurt others, be right and be wrong. But you are still OK
- Mentally strong people make self-improvement a priority, because they know there's always room for improvement.
- If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
CHALLENGE: to drop the rope, listen with an ear for understanding, walk away when negativity threatens your inner peace. Pull out of the power struggle and let go of the need to be right. Change starts with you!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 02, 2021
Tuesday Nov 02, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show… We are checking it twice, looking to the horizon, and consulting a trusted advisor as we discuss; a clock, a compass, and a companion. This show is not to scare you with reminders like, “you’re running out of time” or “look at you, you’re still in the same spot” or even to provide a disclaimer like, “ you can’t go it alone”. Instead, it’s to remind you how precious time is, and how important it could be to identify what you want so you know where you need to go. And to encourage you to look to or strengthen your inner circle to provide love, support, and inspiration along your journey. We all desire to go somewhere emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Do you think that might require some mindful preparation?
I attended a leadership conference the other day and came away so inspired. So I would say, they nailed it. Regardless of the business, you're in, I think we can all appreciate a day of encouraging talks as we are reminded about the bigger picture and mission in life. It’s easy to get sucked into the day-to-day and lose sight of what’s important. We have meetings, emails, deadlines, and endless to-do’s. Even if you aren’t running the rat race anymore you can get preoccupied with the problems of the world with its perceived timelines and schedules.
How much time do you spend in silence, pondering life, and preparing for what’s next? That’s right ….silence. Not reading, watching, or listening to anything. Not surfing, or clicking, or posting anywhere. Just thinking. Not reminiscing, rehashing, or ruminating. Just thinking.
Time and space are so important to learn who, why, and what you need.
An Ode to Silence: Why You Need It in Your Life
And how to find more of it found at health.clevelandclinic.org
The Clock: The clock is always ticking in this life. Time passes, and we either take advantage of opportunities, or we miss them. So it’s important to keep the clock in mind. But it’s not the only thing if you want to live a life of significance.
The Compass: The compass is what we steer life by. It remains constant, and we’re wise when we align ourselves with the direction we know we should be going. But just lining up with the compass doesn’t get us anywhere if we don’t start moving.
Here are: 7 Tips to Help You Embark on a Journey of Self Discovery found at Bodhiheart.com
Nick Wignall leaves us with 4 Psychological Habits of Highly Self-Aware People found at medium.com
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: A Clock, A Compass, and A Companion
- Time and space are so important to learn who, why, and what you need.
- “We can use calm, quiet moments to tap into a different part of the nervous system that helps shut down our bodies’ physical response to stress.”
- Together the clock and the compass provide us with both motivation and direction. Finding a balance between them means that we’re able to compound our efforts and add the most value that we can to our world.
- A leader's potential is determined by those closest to him.
- Learning to find our own closure, and focus our energies on the positive people in our lives is one of the healthiest choices we can make for ourselves.
- The journey to self-discovery, which starts with a willingness to embrace new ideas while letting go of past beliefs and being eager to get to know yourself in a new light
- “Who am I?” The desire to answer this question is one of the most powerful motivations for contemplative practice.
- Self-awareness isn’t something you’re born into. It’s something you build through practice.
- Challenge whether the questions, motivations, and methods are good enough, not whether you are good enough.
- True self-awareness comes from genuine interaction with other people
CHALLENGE: to pack light for your journey as you will pick up plenty of tools along your way. Maximize your time as you shoot for your goals allowing those who care, support your efforts. Build the necessary network by investing your time and energy into others.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 26, 2021
Tuesday Oct 26, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we aren’t trying to get hip, don’t trip, throw shade, or be woke - we are simply trying to bridge the generational gap and understand all the ages. Do you feel like you’re stuck in a time warp not understanding what the “kids” today are saying, meaning, or even thinking? Maybe you’re on the other end with mind-blowing comments like we used to walk everywhere we went or gas used to cost 25 cents a gallon. Better yet you’re trapped in the middle being the interpreter of multiple generations wondering where you fit it. Understanding is key to getting you out of the rut and over the hump but where do you start? You start by not limiting your understanding to what is comfortable and makes perfect sense to you. You stretch your mind by being open and willing to explore other ideas.
No matter what generation you’re in, there is space to grow and learn. We kid about being stuck in a time warp but think about it, what if you really were? Pick an era you felt had it all. Quality of life, values, morals and easier way to go - whatever you feel gave it the advantage. Now, transport that person HERE, to this place and time. Imagine what it would feel like to be lost trying to navigate the modern conveniences of today. Technology, transportation, communication, you name it.
I have always been one to embrace new technology. Not an early adopter per se but my jobs have always made it necessary to be tech-savvy AND I’m naturally curious and not afraid of messing something up. Because of that, I’ve kept up pretty well. To give you some context, I believe computers were introduced during my senior year in high school and my first experience with the internet was data by the hour. I was before email or cell phones.
When cell phones were available they were car phones and I wasn’t about to get a car phone until I had a nice car to put it in which meant it was much later when I actually got my first phone. When text messaging became available I thought it was the silliest thing - kind of like when you could write shell or hello on a calculator.
Can you think of a gap you’ve had or witnessed? How have you been able to find a bridge?
Interactiveschools.com enlightens us with: GENERATION WHO? UNDERSTANDING THE TRENDS OF EACH GEN
Susan Adcox informs us with What Research Says About the Generation Gap
Generational Differences and Their Causes found at verywellfamily.com
The Edu4Sure Team gives us 7 Ways To Bridge The Generation Gap found at edu4sure.com
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: Bridging the Generational Gap An Understanding for All Ages
- Be willing to stretch your mind by being open and willing to explore other ideas
- It’s easy to pick judgment over understanding and acceptance.
- Everything that we experience is filtered, categorized, and dealt with in some automatic way
- Sometimes, these judgments are helpful. They can lead you to understand the things that bring you up, give you energy, and fill you with purpose.
- Mindfulness presents an alternative to this vicious cycle in the form of non-judgment.
- Setting down the judging mind, even for a short while, is a refreshing weight off of your shoulders.
- To practice mindfulness is to make direct contact with the experience you’re having. Getting in touch with the actual experience itself is a freeing and peaceful state.
- Today, although more Americans see generational differences, most do not see them as divisive.
- According to the Pew study, all generations regard older Americans as superior in moral values, work ethic, and respect for others.
- Connect, listen, understand, and encourage
CHALLENGE: to work together. Most conflict comes from a lack of understanding and why don’t we understand? Because we aren’t open to other ideas that conflict with our own and we aren’t listening. Today, be patient and look for more commonalities vs differences.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 19, 2021
Tuesday Oct 19, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show... we are breaking free, removing the stronghold of stress, and finding relief. “How?” you say. “Cut to the chase!” you say. Well now, you know me better than that. I’m on this journey too. I might seem cool as a cucumber but I have my fair share of stress. Mostly self-inflicted but stress all the same. I don’t have to tell you that prolonged stress can have serious effects on your health and on your life. So outside of quitting your demanding job, putting your kids into boarding school, and giving all pets to the Sunnyside Farm over yonder somewhere - let’s explore the cause of your stress, what it may or may not be doing to you, and ways you can get some relief.
Let’s start with understanding a little more about stress. You might be overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, or cranky - but are you stressed?
Do you feel anxious when you can’t find something, get somewhere, or meet someone? Are you putting yourself into this predicament? Saying yes and not saying no?
It’s important on this journey not to lump it all together as just a stressful day. What about the day was stressful? Did you wake up that way or was there an event that triggered this feeling?
Dr. Elizabeth Scott helps us get started with her article for verywellmind.com: What Is Stress?
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: The Stranglehold of Stress And How to Find Relief
- My Grandpa told me if you don’t want to be late, leave a little early
- The way you respond to stress makes a big difference to your overall well-being
- Sometimes stress can come from an obvious source, but sometimes even small daily stresses from work, school, family, and friends can take a toll on your mind and body
- In cases of chronic stress, the relaxation response doesn't occur often enough, and being in a near-constant state of fight-or-flight can cause damage to the body.
- When you understand the toll stress takes on you and the steps to combat stress, you can take charge of your health and reduce the impact stress has on your life.
- Discover how to live more mindfully throughout your day so you can become more awake and conscious throughout your life
- You can NOT do everything and trying will eventually catch up with you.
- It's scary but true: there are plenty of silent signs stress is making you sick, or just messing with your well-being in ways you aren't fully aware of.
- Stress can have many detrimental impacts on your relationship, and they're often subtle, so you might not even realize that they're happening.
- You have to be willing to say no and let some of those things weighing down your schedule, adding unnecessary pressure, and stealing your joy.
CHALLENGE: build in time to decompress and find joy. Be willing to let go of the need to do it all, break the stranglehold of stress, and experience relief. The long-term payoff is worth it!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 12, 2021
Tuesday Oct 12, 2021
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we aren’t pretending to have all the answers or even the navigation tools to move on or get going in the right direction. We’re just trying to make sense of loss and move forward. Coping is an individual skill that everyone has to come to in their own time. You might crave comfort and support from family and friends and then again, you may want to retreat into your own cocoon until you are ready to face tomorrow. Loss also can describe a multitude of deprivation. You might be faced with a tragedy of biblical proportions or slowly losing something you cherish. We can grieve life-changing events as well as missed opportunities. All come with their own challenges and adjustment periods and neither should we judge ourselves harshly nor push ourselves to move too fast through the process. It’s important to encourage and nurture yourself as well as your friends and loved ones. Gentle reminder; we are all unique individuals and what you find sad, fun, outrageous, brilliant, or mad - may be slightly or radically different from others.
Encouragementology is about all of life’s challenges and loss is a big one. We all will and have dealt with grief at some point in our lives.
"The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief - But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love." Hillary Stanton Zunin
You only experience profound grief when you’ve experienced great love. Some say it’s the trade-off.
But that doesn’t really help one get through it. We can all agree: Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
As I said, we will be looking at all types of loss from different angles. But let’s start with the most shattering as an attempt to cover the heartbreaking first and work our way into the light. The loss of a loved one.
I found some thoughts for exploration at healgrief.org: Understanding Grief and Loss: An Overview
It will never get easy no matter how many books you read or podcasts you listen to. Losing someone you love is the hardest kind of loss which is why we covered it first. Unlike the stages of grief….we can move on in the show, just like that. SNAP
What about losing a relationship, albeit love, friendship, or colleague? This has its own set of challenges. You lose someone but they didn’t really go anywhere, just out of YOUR life.
Whether you were on the giving or receiving end - breaking up is hard to do. I’ve had my share of loss during my lifetime and the hardest part to me is the “what ifs” or the “what did I do’s”. You can go on an endless pursuit for something that will make sense and give answers where there are only questions. But is any of that real? It’s easier for us to fabricate that moment in time that the disillusionment happened than to accept that it’s just time to move on or that everyone isn’t supposed to be in your life forever but instead, come and go.
Surviving A Relationship Break-Up - Top 20 Strategies from Dr. Kim Maertz At the Mental Health Centre, University of Alberta
Amy Morin helps us with Healthy Coping Skills for Uncomfortable Emotions found at verywellmind.com
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: Making Sense of Loss and Moving Forward
- Gentle reminder; we are all unique individuals and what you find sad, fun, outrageous, brilliant, or mad - may be slightly or radically different from others.
- You only experience profound grief when you’ve experienced great love.
- There are no rules, no timetables, and no linear progression to overcoming grief
- Your feelings are normal, and it’s important to remember that at some point, it will get better.
- treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and without judgment. You have the right to grieve, and no one — including yourself — can tell you when it’s time to end that process.
- Your mind and body are connected, and physical health helps with the emotional healing process.
- If left untreated, both complicated grief and depression can lead to significant health problems, emotional damage, and more.
- Healthy coping means both identifying these feelings and allowing ourselves to experience these feelings.
- As we talk to supportive friends and family members, we can come to some new understandings and relieve some of our pain. Holding all of these negative feelings in just doesn’t work
- When you’re feeling distressed, ask yourself, “Do I need to change my situation or do I need to find a way to better cope with the situation?”
CHALLENGE: be kind and gentle with yourself, lean in to support from friends and family, search for coping strategies that aid support without feeling rushed. Loss and the grief associated with it have no timeline but offer hope that it will get better.
I Know YOU Can Do It!