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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Jul 26, 2022
Tuesday Jul 26, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are committed to paying attention, not to just me but to our own minds, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It’s time to own it instead of being an innocent bystander. This is your life and you get to determine how well or how poorly, you participate. This could be fun! Have you ever wondered why you think the way you do or why you say what you say? Have you ever stopped to consider how that thinking and verbalization could impact others? Everyone has to do their part, too. No one is disconnected. And everyone has to improve their skills, take care of their own health to the extent they can and contribute their time and talents to the community and country. ~Tim Ryan
If you buy into this idea then it’s more important than ever to be aware of yourself; your thoughts and your actions.
There are so many thoughts and opinions flying around and if you want to stay true to yourself, you find yourself bobbing and weaving, ducking the loaded viewpoint bombs until you can get to a safe place and sit with your own ideas. I’m all about embracing other viewpoints and I would NEVER claim to know it all or even be well versed on most topics. But what I do know is that, geez, give me a minute! Let my brain catch up and check in on what I know and need to know.
I remember when I had a pool. My first pool and probably my last. It was a disaster trying to keep that thing crystal clear. I went from pool place to pool place looking for the secret recipe only to get more frustrated and further from sparkling blue water. I decided to give it one more go before I bought lilypads and frogs to add to my swamp. At the last pool place, I planned on visiting, the young man who came to the counter couldn’t have been more than 18. I felt defeated but was committed to trying anything he said. SHAZAM - his recipe worked and we enjoyed the rest of the summer splashing about in clean or thoughtfully treated water. I tell you this story because I remember being overwhelmed with all the ideas and advice and ready to through in the towel. It’s easy to do when everyone has their own ideas they are ready to share with fervor.
Becoming more self-aware is critical for your journey to self-discovery. I’ve learned so much about myself and realize I’ve just dipped my toe in. Let’s learn from some experts and I’ll share some of my learning along the way and not just my tried and true pool shocking recipe!
Nick Wignall helps us with 10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Self-Awareness found on his blog
VIDEO - Start turning your DIFFERENCES into USP | Dr. Ramya Ranganathan
CHALLENGE: take some time to check in with yourself, and explore the quirks that make you, YOU. Leverage those very differences, as your unique strengths.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 19, 2022
Tuesday Jul 19, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are looking to get intentional—no more flying by the seat of our pants waiting for our big break or hoping for more. We are recommitting to living a life with meaning so that we can dictate the type of legacy we leave and the impact we have on this world. Have you ever stepped back and looked at your role and the influence you’ve had? What do you think they would say if you could be a fly on the wall and visit the important and unimportant people in your life? What has been your impact? What will you be remembered for? When asked this question, most people start with “well I hope they say…”. Let’s secure that legacy by living a more meaningful life now. Let’s make a conscious effort to impact people in a positive way directly versus hoping they remember the good about you and forget the rest. You see, you have the power to effect change and it starts with you.
Many people believe there are three types of people; the thinkers, the connectors, and the doers. Some people think there are “big idea” folks and then the others who carry those ideas out. And yes, it takes everyone to make the world go round but never count yourself short of any talent or skill. You can dramatically alter the life of one person at a time with your kindness and encouragement. This is how you start a positive ripple. Think about it, you influence someone in a positive way and then they turn and do the same in their network.
I break it down so digestible because I think we have a tendency to overcomplicate terms like “finding your purpose” or “live a life with meaning”. These are what “thinkers” figure out and then tell us how to get there right? Not entirely. You need to trust in yourself as you search for meaning. Your journey is personal and unique.
Over at the Pursuit of Happiness, we learn about Viktor Frankl and Man’s Search for Meaning.
Nina Amir warns us to BE MINDFUL OF THE GAPS IN YOUR LIFE found on her blog
CHALLENGE: Fill the gaps in your life story. Be intentional about the influence you have and the mark you make. Remember, encouraging one person can have a profound effect on the world.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 12, 2022
Tuesday Jul 12, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re breaking up with our old patterns and making room for something new as we change harmful into helpful habits! You know we all have those little things we still hold on to, justifying that one day, soon, we’ll change our ways, and do better. You name it and we’ve justified it at one time or another. These might be habits we learned at an early age or ones we’ve adopted recently to cope with a trying time in our lives. Nevertheless, they have to go. We are on a quest for a new, healthy, and sustainable life full of joy. Old and harmful habits don’t have a place in our new normal. You might be carrying something around that you didn’t even know was harmful. Maybe it’s not as tangible as overeating and drinking but more personal and internal. Either way, it’s not serving you in a positive way so guess what…it’s got to go! Grab those pruning shears and let’s get to work cutting out the dead weight that’s preventing you from thriving.
Routines are great, aren’t they? Patterns we have in our life which require little thought. Auto-pilot if you will. Sometimes they protect us from the more mundane aspects of our life. The drive you’ve made to work thousands of times, the laundry that piles up every week without fail, cashing your check and paying your bills, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash over and over. But routines can also protect bad habits that can go unaddressed for decades. The morning cigarette with coffee, the beer to unwind, the slice of pie that perks up a bad mood, the negative self-talk that keeps us from feeling confident, the gossip that makes us feel like part of a crowd.
When is the last time you examined your daily routines and rituals? When is the last time you challenged your thinking? When is the last time you adopted something new?
Let’s take a personal inventory to see where we spend our time, what feels good and provides great benefits, and what might be holding us back. Let’s be careful with the “feels good” part of this inventory. Not everything that feels good is actually good for us. Evaluate the short and long-term effects and benefits of these routines and rituals.
Gretchen Rubin - Health, Habits, and Happiness
CHALLENGE: conduct a personal inventory to identify those routines and rituals that are holding you hostage. Develop their replacement by understanding what new helpful habits you need to adopt. Break’um to Make’um!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 05, 2022
Tuesday Jul 05, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re going to take a step back as we attempt to look at the bigger picture, find the irony, celebrate, the unexpected benefits, and learn from the unintended consequences. Oh hindsight, you’re a beautiful thing with horrible timing. And good intentions, well you’re just that. No judgment here. Our continued quest for self-discovery is about learning from our successes and failures. So many times we can’t see the forest through all the trees. We make reactive decisions trying to solve an immediate problem only to create a bigger and more far-reaching issue. So what’s the solution? Is there a cure for this infirmity? Oh boy, that would be Nobel prize worthy since unintended consequences have been happening since the beginning of man. My intention here is to use this topic to broaden our views beyond thinking of people in power attempting to create policy that helps instead of hurts. I want us to think about our own thought processes. How many angles do we consider? How many opposing opinions or ideas? Who all and what all do we consider before making a decision?
I think we can all safely say we’ve had tunnel vision at one point or another in our lifetimes. Oh and mix in this idea that we know it all = lots of decisions without fully thinking it through. I mean, you only know what you know right? Unfortunately, you can only use that excuse for so long. At some point, you have to want to know more, about yourself, the world around you, and what your impact is and can be.
So to avoid unintended consequences, we’re going to look at this top from a number of angles; what is it, our protection bubble, good and bad, causes, reasons, and motivations, why it’s important to embrace opposing views, and how to increase our critical thinking - sound fun?
Over at the Fraiser Institue if found our jumping-off point: Unintended
Consequences - How Regulation Influences Behaviour by Christopher J. Coyne
Great Moments in Unintended Consequences - Vol 5
Great Moments in Unintended Consequences - Vol 6
Great Moments in Unintended Consequences - Vol 7
CHALLENGE: test your solution from every angle to see how others might be impacted. Embrace the positive and learn from the negative to course correct any unintended circumstances.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 28, 2022
Tuesday Jun 28, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are dropping the negativity, the fear, and the anger as we adopt a kinder approach to ourselves and others. We are seeking the good, the possible, and even the impossible as we initiate a radical mood makeover. Tired of feeling frustrated, irritated, and helpless? Most of us are. Yet day after day we visit and revisit these feelings, staying stuck without a real plan forward. Unlike Cinderella, there is no Fairy Godmother standing ready to transform our lives or our attitudes with a wave of her wand. We have to dry our eyes, calm our nerves, and cool our jets to see what we’re actually working with. You can’t strive for better if you aren’t sure where you’re falling short. And wallowing in our melancholy mood is getting us nowhere. So, let’s start there. What are your mind and body telling you and where might you be missing the message?
Your body might be saying, “Hey you, I’m tired and I need a little more rest to perform at the level at which you are pushing our life’s pace.” But outside influences say - there is plenty of time to rest when you’re dead. Your mind might be saying, “Ouch, I’m getting bogged down with all this conflicting information and super anxious bu the tone!” But outside influences tell you - you HAVE to stay informed or you can’t get involved. It’s up to you to fix it!
As a result of this constant struggle, you feel behind and anxious about catching up. Wonder where your bad mood comes from? I’m not sure but it sounds like we’re on the right track. And if you don’t know, should you look for the answers? Let me remind you, no one is going to do it for you. There isn’t a happy clown to visit when you feel blue or a water boy to ice you down when you’re angry, and if there was a warm hug at ready when you’re having a bad day - I would know about it! Did I mention the journey to self-discovery is essentially a solo mission? Oh sure, you have plenty of help along the way but it takes your foot on the gas to continue forward.
So I want to know more about these moods, where they come from, and what can I do to get to the source of the irritant, overcome it, and get back on my journey. It’s hard to expect peak performance when you have sludge in your engine, right?
The Better Health Channel gives us more ideas on Monitoring your mood.
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen shares How to Stop Feeling Overly Responsible from quickanddrydirtytips.com
CHALLENGE: initiate a mood makeover today by dropping the negative and self-defeating attitude you’ve embraced and adopting the exciting world of possibilities you have at your fingertips. Left or right, you choose!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 21, 2022
Tuesday Jun 21, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’ll be writing the script, marking the stage, and preparing for our close-ups as we take charge of directing and starring in our own blockbusters, our desired lives! Picture it…the musical score warms up the scene, opening credits are scrolling, and the viewer is engaged and trying to anticipate the beginning and where it will go. Will they be rocked and soothed with a heartwarming saga or shocked and moved to the edge of their seats with an unpredictable thriller? You choose, because you are in charge of this story and how people perceive it. Wouldn’t that be liberating? A chance to rewrite some darker times, the ones that didn’t turn out as we planned or expected. Or the ability to pen the future full of possibilities. Don’t forget our starring role, the lead character in this blockbuster. Will we be one of those characters that everyone falls in love with, who they’ll champion, and cheer for, or the reclusive and misunderstood they’ll spend the entire picture trying to figure out. ACTING! Sure but this is your life and your story. Have you ever really stepped back to take it all in?
So many times we get stuck in our more challenging scenes. We let those difficult chapters of our lives shape and mold our characters, making it hard to pivot and come out the hero or heroine. But imagine the boos you would get and the tickets you would have to refund if you left this character at the end of their rope. Perseverance, coming back harder, reinventing, and reshaping the story to strive for more.
That’s what leaves a crowd cheering. But don’t forget, after the applause dies down, the fans leave, the staff comes to clear the popcorn and forgotten personal items, there’s just you and your life. This could be fun and a worthwhile exercise, thinking of our lives as a motion picture, picking our supporting characters, designing the scene, choreographing the lighting, music, and visual effects. It gives us that vantage point that is important to frame things in the bigger picture. I mean, what does that even mean? It means gaining perspective. We can make small things into mountains and miss important details that can rob us of our happiness. All because we can’t see how this event fits into the bigger picture.
So come on a journey with me through the silver screen. As we look at our lives with a wide-angle lens, closing in on the meaningful moments and building suspense for what’s to come. CUT - the beauty of being the director and the screenwriter is that you have the option of changing your mind and doing a rewrite. Strengthen your character’s resolve, influencing the story with more compassion or grit and for goodness sake, don’t inspect the basement!
Mirna Smidt helps us with: Rewrite your story, change your life found at the Happiness Academy
John Millen explores, How Do People Perceive You? On his blog
Dr. Benjamin Hardy helps us with How to Rewrite Your Past Narrative found at psycologytoday.com
Beth Gray leads us in Imagine your desired life: how to create it found on her blog
CHALLENGE: refocus on the bigger picture, your desired life. You have the opportunity to write and rewrite your story since you are continually growing and evolving. When you’re ready for your close-up, take a breath and smile. You deserve this moment!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 14, 2022
Tuesday Jun 14, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are looking internally, conjuring up our courage and celebrating our spunk. Because long-term vision takes guts and long-term goals take perseverance and passion. What’s standing in your way? For many of us, fear and self-doubt create roadblock after roadblock; pushing our dreams further from our reach. Let’s push back! Instead of changing our goals and altering our pursuits, let’s remove the obstacles standing in our way. It’s time to pursue guts and grit by conquering fear.
What is fear anyhow? 1a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. So one is a perceived threat and one is an actual danger. Can we make this distinction right out of the gate? Remember, we are removing obstacles from our life’s journey. To do that effectively, we need to be specific. What if you were afraid of everything? Imagine how that would limit your day, petrified from fear. So let’s go ahead and release unnecessary fear. Perceived fear. More to come on that.
I would like to think that I’m pretty fearless. Let me clarify and quantify that statement just a bit using perceived and actual. I don’t like high places where I could fall to my death. Not once has bungee jumping, parachuting, or deep-sea diving ever crossed my mind as an enjoyable pastime option. I’m not a fan of snakes, bulls riding, or wrestling alligators, and cage or no cage, I will not be swimming with the sharks.
So maybe I should say, I’m quite fearless when it comes to perceived danger. I actually enjoy speaking to large crowds, I’m not shy or reserved, and I believe everyone will like me. Not to sound arrogant in any way. I liken it to a chameleon changing its color to blend in as a way of protection. You see, by believing everyone will like me, I remove any fear of not being accepted. Myself and my ideas. This gives me the confidence to approach anything - from a person to a new idea.
It’s easy for me to go for it because I believe in what I’m doing and I am confident it will be well received.
Sometimes, after the fact, I chuckle to myself and think “wow, Kendall - that was gutsy, how did you do that?” But I’m thankful. Being trapped by fear means you short-side yourself from reaching your true potential.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
Over at nm.org I found 5 Things You Never Knew About Fear
Josh Steimle gives us some ideas with 14 Ways To Conquer Fear found at forbes.com
James Clear gives us Grit: A Complete Guide on Being Mentally Tough found at jamesclear.com
CHALLENGE: Evaluate perceived from actual when exploring your fears. Chose to release irrational fear avoiding reactions to perceived threats. Instead, explore your goals conjuring guts and grit as you make a commitment for the long haul.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 07, 2022
Tuesday Jun 07, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re cleaning out the mind-brain and evaluating whether to keep, pitch, or donate our ideas. Years and years of accumulation can generate an overabundance of thoughts that may or may not serve you any longer. It may be time to clear a path and take a deeper look at what you’re holding on to. Some of this clutter was embedded into the far-reaching corners of your mind and others were imprinted through shared experiences as you were developing. Some ideas helped you build barricades when you needed extra protection and some ideas just no longer fit, you’ve outgrown them. You could box, rebox, and stack all your thoughts into the corners running out of room for something new OR you could make a date, pull out the bins, and get to sorting. Keep, pitch, or donate.
I’m not a clutter bug or overly sentimental about stuff. Sure, when the kids were little I kept more, finding another drawer or filing cabinet for school projects and handmade cards. I mean who can throw out a picture of your child's handprint made into a turkey? Not to mention the funny questionnaire about how old they think you are or how much they think you weigh woven into a heartfelt Mother’s day card.
But when it comes to general stuff, I’m more for donating than storing away for a rainy day. It could be my generation because my Mom feels a massive responsibility to inherited furniture, china, and knick-knacks. At one point we had 5 different patterns in the attic because each child looked at me like I’d lost my mind when I told them I was saving Great Grandmother China for their first place. My oldest said, “Don’t bother, I’m buying paper and plastic so I never have to wash a dish”.
But ideas, now those are a little harder to pitch. Some are rooted rather deep and whether they’re true or not, they’ve lived in your reality for as long as you can remember. You might need those, someone might need those. Some just crept in over time. Ideas you created when you didn’t have the full story, half of an experience, or a sliver of truth. These too became you’re reality and right or wrong, you protect them fiercely.
But just like that, we have a breakthrough, a bit of growth. We start evolving and learning and what once fit, now doesn't. Someone else could benefit from this growth. Maybe it could help someone over or through a bad patch of their journey. You release old ideas and pass on the learning to help someone else. You’ve made room for more.
Hey, that was a fun and freeing feeling, I want some more of that. You fling the doors wide open as you are pulling out ideas, thoughts, and memories and sorting through good, bad, stay, or go!
CHALLENGE: give your mind a good spring cleaning. Evaluate ideas, old thought patterns, and limited thinking to see what you value to keep, what you’re ready to release, and what you can pass on to someone in need. Free your mind to invite in new and inspiring ideas.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday May 31, 2022
Tuesday May 31, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re taking it easy, slowing down, and examining time in an attempt to answer the seasonal question; what’s the rush? Hindsight, understanding of a situation or event only after it’s happened or developed, is post revelation, not premeditation. People poke fun at this by saying; Hindsight is 20/20 meaning only NOW do you see clearly what you should have seen then. A reminder I like to vocalize is, that you only know what you know. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have everything figured out from the get-go. And even though the older generation is right there with the formidable experience lecture and an ample supply of “I told you so’s”, most of us still have to walk through the fire to realize it’s hot.
That doesn’t mean the advice is not sitting on the ready. There is plenty of it and for good reason. We’ve all rushed life, made mistakes, experienced failures, learned valuable lessons, and somehow, figured out how to soldier on. This is good stuff and definitely worth sifting through to find your own personal nugget of inspiration. I like to pick those up and plant them deep. Then, when you least expect it, they surface as a valuable reminder and important compass for your journey.
What’s the rush? I wish I would have taken that question seriously in the early seasons of my life. I was in a rush. Looking back it stems from being fiercely independent and deluded by the thought that I already had most of life figured out. WOW, that seems more than comical to me now. I wanted to hurry up and take every step that life offered, marriage, kids, and career. I never even considered trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted or this mystical idea of a life journey.
Looking back now I can clearly see that I had no idea who I was or what I wanted and my journey, well that started much later after repeated life wrecks and a realization that there had to be a better way. I’ll share more about some of my learning throughout but let’s explore this idea from multiple angles.
CHALLENGE: slow down, take a breath, and make time to get to know yourself. You’re changing naturally, with every experience, challenge, success, and failure so take your time instead of being in a rush.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday May 24, 2022
Tuesday May 24, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re not waiting until they reach the brim, flow over, or a rainy day. We are seizing the moment as we look at what’s in your bucket so we can start living NOW! I think we all have them. Call them lofty goals, fantasies, or big dreams. Those bits of adventure we’ve been putting off for one day, someday, or any other day but today. The bucket list; is a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. During. Did you hear that? It didn’t say toward the end after everyone and everything had been taken care of then and only then can you explore the bucket. But that’s what happens. The bucket sits there with bits of wishes, dreams, fears, and exhilaration. You think about it and refer to it a lot. It’s that mirage you think you’ll reach eventually but yet you never take a step toward it. What can we pull out today? What can we experience today? What can we move from the dream column to the done column?
You might think your bucket needs to be full of adventure like a trip around the world or climbing Mount Everest but it doesn’t. To be honest, it’s your bucket. Put in what you like. If it helps you to organize your thoughts and collect things you would like to do or places you’d like to visit or stuff you’d like to learn then GREAT. You’re on the right track.
I’ve been emptied nested for 7 years. Wow, I just counted that up, seven years. What a transition that was. I am the mother of three and for 25 ½ years, I was raising kids. I feel like the bucket was a little deeper then and possibly overflowing since everything seemed reserved for another day. My focus was on their welfare and my career. That trip to Europe or a second language would just have to wait.
I want to say it got easier and easier as they each left but to be honest, by then I was more on autopilot and worried I’d have a crash landing when I was finally left alone. “Don’t leave me!!” I actually told my youngest I was considering hosting an exchange student because I was afraid the house would be too quiet. Ok…for those of you already where I am now, I’ll give you a minute to chuckle. Could anything really be too quiet? HA Let’s just say I adjusted and quick I might add. The major difference was time and focus. I had so much more time to focus on the things I wanted to do. Now, what did I want to do? I’ll come back to that….let’s first find out where this idea of a bucket list comes from and what it entails.
Joe Oliveto informs us with Where Does 'Bucket List' Really Come From? Shared on joincake.com
CHALLENGE: don’t put off what you could experience today, whether it be adventure, learning something new, or an interesting encounter. Time should be cherished, valued, and spent wisely.
I Know YOU Can Do It!