Avoiding the Shame Game and the Pressure to be Perfect

August 2, 2022


On this show…we’re exposing those closed-door conversations we have with ourselves. Do you know the ones,  the not super uplifting ones?  The ones we tend to start our day with, setting the tone for what’s to come. Have you ever questioned why you’re harder on yourself than anyone else you know?  Why can’t you seem to forgive past failures or let yourself have a little slack? Well, me either so that’s why we’re here. Let’s dig into this topic a little to seek out the root. I fully believe that when you face your fears, and come head to head with what’s challenging you, you have a chance to change your thinking. You are in control even when you feel powerless. Shame is a dangerous game and the pressure to be perfect is the ultimate recipe for failure. 

This topic came to me when I flipped on the light first thing in the morning to prepare for the day and immediately started pummeling myself with ridicule. Whoa, what happened to finding gratitude? I don’t have accessories with encouraging words to remind me of happier thoughts,  primarily because Matt said he’s offended when inanimate objects try to tell him how to live. But maybe, I need to surround my mirror with remarks like HEY - before you hit the reject button, you have a beautiful spirit and are going places, lady!

Why do our minds go there so easily? I’m actually pretty confident in myself. If you’ve met me, you would most likely say, I’m outgoing, positive, and encouraging. As an Encouragementologist, those are pretty important traits to possess. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a bad day or apparently, recurring bad mornings. I’m tired of holding myself to such an impossibly high standard. Why do I believe that’s necessary or even achievable? I love succeeding and hitting goals but if the goals are unattainable, what’s the point? 

You can load your house up with motivational quotes, keep a gratitude journal, and set an alarm for your daily mantras but when the door is closed, no one is around, and you are alone with your thoughts. What will you choose? 

Andrea Blundell gets us started with a question and some solutions: Always Being Hard on Yourself? 7 Ways to Halt the Habit

Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. informs us on 10 Ways People Are Too Hard on Themselves found at psychologytoday.com

KRISTIN CANNING helps us understand that Shame Is Detrimental To Mental And Physical Health, Experts Say, And Women Tend To Feel It More

Karen Beattie sets us up with 4 DESTRUCTIVE TRAITS OF PERFECTIONISM, FROM DR. BRENÉ BROWN found at the growthfalculty.com


6 Types of People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story 

CHALLENGE: Be ready to bow out of the shame game by ceasing your participation and reframing the negative narrative you’ve grown accustomed to

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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