Encouragementology

Why You? Why Not You?

July 27, 2021

SHOW NOTES:

On this show….we are flipping the script and answering the call. Why You? Why Not You? Now, I didn’t come to this revelation on my own but I did adopt it as a way to overcome that woe-is-me kind of feeling. What if the things you’re struggling with are not the raw deal delivered by the universe that you think they are. What if these things happening to you are actually happening FOR you. No pain, no change. Sometimes we need to feel discomfort to seek comfort. What’s the lesson here? Shoot if we knew that it would ruin all the fun! Your journey is about discovery, challenges, and triumphs in no particular order and sometimes happening at random.

So...why you? How often do you ask yourself that question? It’s usually accompanied by an eye roll and an exasperated release of breath. UGH, WHY Me? 

You might also echo that statement with things like….” figures, not again, not today, why is this always happening to me?

It can feel like life is out to get you or that terrible things are hovering over you just waiting to drop. Maybe you feel like you have a target on your back or a sign on your forehead but whatever it is….bad things happen to you. 

And to make matters worse, they aren’t isolated incidents that happen once in a while. It’s blow after blow after blow! When are you going to catch a break?

This feeling is perpetual and once you’re on auto-repeat, it’s hard to shut it off. You start over-generalizing with overarching ideas like “ I ALWAYS, or I NEVER”. You shoot new opportunities down before you ever even try, accepting that nothing EVER works out for you so why bother.

Jordan Brown gives us 4 BIG Reasons Why You're Feeling Stuck in Life (With Solutions) found on the menatalhealthupdate.com

  • Feeling Stuck Reason 1: You Think There’s No Hope for Any Change
  • Feeling Stuck Reason 2: You’re Stuck in a Dead-End Job
  • Feeling Stuck Reason 3: You Don’t Like Where You Live
  • Feeling Stuck Reason 4: Your Relationships Are Draining You

Someone once told me, “the day starts and ends with you”. I love these little nuggets of inspiration that burrow deep in your mind but are easy to recall to make sense of the world or to deliver just the right amount of momentum and focus. 

You are in charge of how you react to challenging situations, the people involved, the innocent bystander, and even the thoughts in your head. You can see any situation as a good thing or a bad thing and you don’t even have to cock your head funny or close one eye. You have the power to view your life through different lenses. 

When you wake in the morning, you are in charge of the first thought that enters your brain. Now, sometimes, circumstances make it very difficult to wake up to rainbows in the sky and bluebirds singing on your windowsill - but you can choose to use your circumstances as motivators instead of limiters. Your choice. 

Robert Taibbi shares his ideas on a common feeling; When You Feel You Don't Deserve to Be Happy

Well, here are some of the common sources of  self-sabotage, see if you identify with any:

  • Past sin(s)
  • Survivor’s guilt
  • Trauma
  • Parental worry
  • Feeling guilty if you're happy
  • Deserving happiness

 

  • Make amends
  • Realize you did the best you could do at the time
  • Resolve your trauma
  • Directly work on your self-criticism
  • Directly treat your anxiety and/or depression
  • Carry your life’s lessons forward

Before you can really identify the good AND bad in your life, you need a better vantage point. Why do you think it’s important to “find gratitude”? You know that is a huge buzz phrase but what does it really mean and why is there such a push to do it? 

With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. ... Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

It helps climb you out of the darker regions in your mind to your frontal cortex where you can get a better vantage point. There you find patience, reason, and self-control. 

Finding gratitude helps you put life into perspective. It delivers a healthy balance in what can seem like an overwhelming sea of negativity. With this new perspective, you can start to see the lessons and gifts instead of just the pain and misery. 

enée Fishman enlightens us with 7 Ways That Life is Happening FOR You, Not TO You

  • (1) To Teach You a Lesson
  • (2) To Serve Your Awakening
  • (3) To Catalyze Your Growth
  • (4) To Deepen Your Empathy 
  • (5) To Test You
  • (6) To Offer You Proof
  • (7) To Help You Cultivate Trust

KEY HIGHLIGHTS - 

  1. Feeling stuck starts with your thoughts. 
  2. Realize that you are the one who created these thoughts, and you can be the one to create new thoughts.
  3. Take a step back. Assess your current relationships. If they are not bringing you joy, it’s time to do something about it.
  4. Regain your humanity by realizing just how much possibility you have, then seize the moment and do something about it.
  5. You are in charge of how you react to challenging situations, the people involved, the innocent bystander, and even the thoughts in your head.
  6. When your unhappiness has become your new normal, your view of yourself and what you present to others can feel unsettling and confusing
  7. If there is some regret, guilt, or wound that is haunting you and undermining your happiness, you want to find a way to put it to rest, to get some closure. 
  8. Happiness is a byproduct of a life fully lived, a life based on self-care and forgiveness that can come with new intentions, deliberate action, support.
  9. A life hardship or challenge may arise to give you the tools you need to serve others more deeply or at a higher level. It can help us foster greater empathy and compassion for others.
  10.  Sometimes the challenges we face are simply an opportunity to cultivate deeper trust that things will work out.

CHALLENGE: to answer the call. Instead of feeling like life is delivering another blow find the opportunity that stands on the other side of your thinking. Use your power and this new perspective to push forward and accept the challenge. 

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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