Encouragementology

Understanding our Need for Validation

May 10, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we won’t be checking our likes and loves and we won’t be perched on the edge of our seat waiting for positive feedback or verification that we are doing, saying, or acting accordingly. Instead, we will be content with the discovery to better understand our need for validation. Recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. Why do we need someone else to make that declaration for us? Why do we look to others for approval? It’s true even if you try and say it isn’t, all people want to be liked. So where is the edge; from being accepted to needing acceptance? An important part of this self-discovery journey is to understand who you are and why you need or want certain things. From the physical to the emotional. Through your strengths and your weaknesses. What makes you tick and what can you do to be self-satisfied while connecting with others in a healthier way. 

Everyone loves a compliment. Ok, well maybe not EVERYONE. Some people are shy and uncomfortable receiving or giving compliments. But it’s nice to be appreciated and valued. You take the time to get dressed up, make a delicious dinner, or put an extra shine on the spring cleaning and it would be nice if it doesn’t go unnoticed. 

That seems like a normal give and take for humanity right? Right. But what makes us take it too far? What causes us to crave more than a simple thank you, you got this, and I love your hair? You’re going to hear a lot of different angles on the topic of validation, from why we crave it to how to distance ourselves from what can be an obsessive need. So let me tell you why I felt it necessary to explore this topic. I’m a little worried frankly. I feel like I’ve reached a level of maturity that helps me step back and observe things as they happen vs being in the thick of it. Some might say being on the fringes is risky because you are too far away from the action to have a real opinion but in this case, I think it’s best. 

Social media and the internet in general have given the normal human being more exposure than we’ve ever had in history. Everyone can be seen and heard if they choose to be. Look at me, listen to me, I’m over here! And instead of it being a one-way conversation that a soapbox might create, they are looking for feedback, agreement, encouragement, and validation. 

We know it and yet we feel compelled to participate. You see a new profile pic of a friend of yours…what do you do? Great pic, you’re so beautiful, love your smile, stunning, gorgeous. LIKE LIKE LIKE, LOVE LOVE LOVE. Feels pretty good when it’s happening to you, right? Let’s be honest. Let’s explore the feeling to find the threshold. 

Geetika Sachdev relays an expert's advice on Why do some people need constant validation? In her article for healthshots.com

Aleksandra Slijepcevic explains Why You Need To Stop Seeking Validation And Start Thriving in her article for lifehack.com

Not sure if what you’re doing is really crossing the line of needing validation? Over at consciousrethink.com, I found 12 Examples Of Approval-Seeking Behavior (+ How To Drop Your Need For Validation)

Happiness.com suggests; Self-validation: 5 ways to develop it

 

CHALLENGE: Drink the water. You are enough and you have enough and what you offer is valuable. Look within to self-satisfy and meet your basic needs before seeking validation and acceptance from others.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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