Encouragementology

Thriving Instead of Just Surviving

August 18, 2020

SHOW NOTES

On this show….we’re gonna do better than just survive, we’re talking about thriving. Growing, developing, prospering, and flourishing! If you feel stuck in a cycle of barely getting by or through each day, turn up the dial. You don’t have to succumb to simply existing. There are tools, strategies, and connections that can help change your state of mind and put you back in control. 

Think back and try to pinpoint the moment you started losing your fight. If we are going to apply a new strategy we need to know at what point you switched from thriving to just surviving. I shared my own experience with co-dependency and how I was able to break free and focus my energy on healing myself.

I shared a story of Caleb that mirrors aspects of my own told by Christine Hammond a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over one million downloads of her popular podcast, “Understanding Today’s Narcissist,”. 

The following steps are only an outline of the process that Caleb began. However, the specifics need to be catered for each’s strengths and weaknesses.

  1. Acknowledge the obstacle within you. 
  2. Make a list of positive and negative characteristics.
  3. Choose one thing to change at a time.
  4. All change will be met with resistance.
  5. Recognize the need for help.
  6. Don’t expect immediate praise from others.
  7. Be patient with others.

We talked about using self-pity as a crutch. How many times have you wallowed in your own self-pity putting off change because of fear or defiance? Sometimes it’s just easier to stay where you are and lick your wounds shrouding yourself in your own disappointment.

Most people are well-intentioned; they have big dreams and ambitions they want to achieve. Yet day after day, they find themselves stuck in the same routines to the remark of, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow.’ You’ve been there. You know it can feel impossible to change your life when momentum is working against you.

We walked through some ideas from Reece Robertson who is a self-proclaimed freedom addict in an article for medium: Good Intentions Aren’t Good Enough.

Most of us can’t go it alone. Whether you are protecting your pride or a deep dark secret, keeping your true struggle to yourself has been your go-to default. But isolating these thoughts only gives them more power over you. Reach out to a trusted advisor, friend, or family member. Be open to positive and honest feedback. When you are protecting your pity, it’s hard to hear anything on the contrary. Include your willingness to participate in your own recovery in your commitment plan. 

Eric Ravenscraft examines this in an article he wrote for the NY Times on Why Talking About Our Problems Helps So Much (and How to Do It)

There is a fundamental difference between thriving and surviving. Surviving means, “to continue to live or exist,” while thrive can be defined as “to grow or develop well, to prosper or to flourish.”

We talked through some  thought-provoking ideas from Tamara Lechner for chopra.com

Signs You’re Living in Survival Mode

  • You choose the path of least resistance.
  • You are more reactive than proactive
  • You blame circumstances or others or find excuses when things go wrong.
  • You feel there is never enough to go around.
  • You don’t speak your mind because others might disagree.
  • You don’t listen to hear; you listen to answer.
  • You see failure as the end result of things gone wrong.
  • Change scares you.

Quick Fixes to Get You Started on a Thriving Path

  • Think about how you want to feel rather than what you want to have or do.
  • Remind yourself of times in the past when you have felt like you were thriving. Visualize these times and remember how it felt.
  • Make a vision board or get on Pinterest, where you’ll find inspirational quotes and ideas, and create a collage that reminds you of how you want to feel and what you want to do each day.
  • Spend time every day in nature.
  • Meditate
  • Take a class or attend a retreat.
  • Grab a book by someone who inspires you.
  • Listen to a podcast or webinar.
  • Do something that scares you.
  • Change a habit.

CHALLENGE: make a commitment to live your best life. Don’t accept the status quo of barely surviving but instead, remove the barriers that are preventing you from challenging yourself to thrive. The path to self-discovery and your pace is up to you.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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