Encouragementology

Stop Obsessing, Getting Free

April 16, 2019

Obsessing: to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or desires of a person. Have you ever been preoccupied with negative feelings or negative thoughts?

Humans have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. According to some research, as many as 98% of them are actually the same thought as we had the day before. Even more significant 80% of our thoughts are negative.

Do you have a hard time letting things go? Allowing things to roll off your back easily? Or do you hold on to them and continually play them on a loop in your head trying to figure out the why

If you're like most people, you've had the experience of obsessing over something stressful that happened in your day. It may have been something someone said that hit you in the gut, it may have been a situation where you wish you had the perfect comeback, or it may be a problem that replays itself in your mind over and over with no acceptable solution in sight.

We can become obsessed with a person, a place, a goal, a subject, but obsessing amounts to the same thing in all cases, negative behavior. Being driven and having the motivation to reach a goal quicker and more successful is not obsessing. Staying stuck in the same cycle of thoughts with the inability to move forward is obsessing.

When these thoughts turn into brooding, that's known as ruminating. Rumination is as stressful as it is common, it takes a situation that has already caused stress and magnifies the stress and the importance of the situation in our minds. It also zooms in on the feeling of helplessness we may feel when we realize we can’t change what has already happened.

I'm going to share one of my obsessions or stuck issues with you. I have a hard time accepting when people don't like me. I can't seem to understand that everybody has their own opinion and that I might not be everyone's cup of tea so to speak. I had a relationship that ended unexpectedly and for almost two years I couldn't seem to let it go. I didn't feel comfortable confronting this person and just asking a simple question, why aren't we friends anymore? I just kept instead racking my brain and obsessing over the “why”.  Instead of being realistic and considering the “why” could have had something to do with her I was insistent that it must have been me. Because I couldn't figure out what exactly I did to destroy the relationship I couldn't let it go. Eventually, time heals wounds and because I don't like to be stuck, I let it go. But it’s shallow and lies just under the surface. I have realized, it doesn't take much to bring it back to my mind.

If you have something that you're obsessing over and you want to let it go try talking to someone. It's important to get your thoughts out and hear them out loud as you're speaking them to another person. Be open to what a trusted family member or friend might tell you about the situation.  A fresh perspective can help you look at things in a different way. Try channeling your energy and focusing on a greater mission something productive, something that gets you excited about something more meaningful.

CHALLENGE: Stop the loop. Understand there may not be an answer and your obsession is preventing you from peace and joy and you deserve both. Connect with a friend and ask to share your concerns then be open to listening and embracing another point of view. The key to unlock the shackles is within your grasp - let for freedom!

 

I know YOU can do it!