On this show...we’re talking about settling in, taking life as it comes, and letting someone else lighten the load when needed. This show is about riding the wave and the wheelbarrow. You might find swimming upstream and waging a battle against the current the only possible way to survive. The thought of letting go, come what may, or not willing into existence everything you have, simply a pipe dream. But what if…..go on this fantastical journey with me, what if you stopped fighting and instead floated along with the current. Taking things as they come instead of worrying about what might happen if you aren’t in control. What if….stay with me, you let someone else pick up the slack or start doing their share? Could you relax in the knowledge that all you have to focus on is doing your personal best, instead of saving the world?
So if I said the words “go with the flow”, what ideas immediately come to mind? It might sound peaceful to you, a pass, being let off the hook. An excuse to relax or a direct order to chill out, you’re not in charge.
It might elicit anxiety. A foreign concept where you relinquish control. Taking a step back, sacrificing structure for something more freeform.
I’ve always thought of myself as easy-going, a person who goes with the flow. Matt actually laughed out loud at this. He said I was anything but easy-going and then referred to my lists, my need to devise a plan in advance, my disappointment when things didn’t turn out as I expected, my need for control, blah blah blah….I tuned him out at that point.
But he was right. I’m not easy-going but I do think I’m flexible. I do well with change and can shift gears with ease. Ok flexible, I’ll accept that
1-Other people’s opinions.
2- Having to please other people. (Oh those expectations!)
3 -Saying yes to everyone. And their cousin’s neighbor’s mother.
4- Anything that stops you from asking for clarification, time, help, patience, understanding, space.
5- Judging, criticizing, complaining. (And if you’re about to skip this because ‘you’d never do that to anyone, it includes doing it to yourself, too!)
7 -Letting idiots, jerks, and toxics change who you are.
8 -Thinking only the big things should be celebrated.
9-Talking, shutting down, or getting busy – when it would be best to listen.
10 -The need to be right.
11 -Holding back.
12 -The need for control.
13-The Resistance to Change.
The waves are coming in, pounding the beach. What do you do? Stand there and take it? Pushing against them, getting the wind knocked out of you, standing up when you can, and going at it harder the next time. Or do you let the wave carry you, weightless over the swells and down the beach as you look up to the clear sky without worry as to where you will eventually come to shore?
Oh to be that trusting and vulnerable. The visual of that sounds so hopeful and peaceful. Then why, do we panic and paddle with all our might in the opposite direction? Convinced we have control over everything, even the unseen.
Acknowledging your power doesn’t always mean being forceful. It can be the power to understand what’s needed at any given moment. Knowing when to push and when to be carried.
Imaging a wheelbarrow. One wheel and two handles. A wheelbarrow doesn’t have a steering wheel, pedals, or brakes. It’s powerless for the passenger. All the control goes into the hands of the diver.
How do you feel about climbing in - arms and legs, hands and feet. Taking a rest and letting someone else lead the way?
Shift Your Perspective
Know Your Worth
Know What you Believe
Know Your Strengths
Know when to Ask for Help
Have you ever heard, all good managers delegate all jobs? I bet in the same breath you’re thinking, yeah but it’s easier if I just do it myself, then I know it gets done, and to my standards.
Listen to yourself….to your standard? Maybe that’s a bigger issue but your expectations are your expectations. Waiting for others to live up to them will produce anxiety, disappointment, and heartache.
What if you could effectively communicate what you want and need and then let others do THEIR BEST, would that be good enough?
Kisha Dingle is an entrepreneur, master filmmaker trainer and life coach as well as the founder of Visionary Legacy Project. She struggled with perfectionism and gives us her thoughts in THE PERFECTIONISM CURE: HOW TO STOP TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT
5 Habits To Help You Rid Yourself Of Perfectionism
- Accept the fact that you are NOT the only person on the planet that can do anything right.
- Redefine your standards.
- Focus on WHY you're doing something, not WHAT you're doing.
- Learn to set realistic goals that you can enjoy achieving.
- Learn how to celebrate your success.
CHALLENGE: take a time out. Relax and go with the flow. Let life carry you through the ebbs and flows. When in need, pull back and let someone else do the heavy lifting. Your strength is found within.
I Know YOU Can Do It!