Encouragementology

Again, Again, and Again, Recovering From Failure

June 29, 2021

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we are at it again, and again, and yes, maybe even again. We aren’t giving up but instead, recovering from failure. Sometimes it’s more than just telling yourself “better luck next time”, there is a process; awareness, learning, resiliency, and tenacity when you don’t get it right the first time but aren’t ready to give up. Can you imagine if we adopted the one-and-done at every stage of our lives? Oy, let’s be honest, we would still be sitting in soiled diapers sucking our thumbs. Thank goodness we didn’t give up so easily! Let’s find that resolve as we walk through our failures in an attempt to recover and move forward.

Let’s get something out of the way in the very beginning, I do believe in giving in. Again, again, and again is in no way saying you shouldn’t learn something from your failures to modify or abort your original plans. I’m also not suggesting that tenacity is the only thing you need to MAKE something happen when it clearly isn’t working. 

In everything, I’m suggesting a healthy balance of push, pull, and release. Oh boy, we go through so many changes in our lives with radical ideas about the world at every turn. Can you take a moment and think back to an idea you had or something you tried that failed, and now, looking back you can clearly see why and are thankful for it? 

Amy Clover, fitness and mental health coach, gives us her ideas from her website insideoutstrong.com: The Difference Between Giving Up & Moving Forward

GIVING UP is dropping something just because it’s pushing you out of your comfort zone.

MOVING FORWARD is recognizing that what you’re doing is either not working or is making you miserable, then taking another course that gets you to your goal of what’s important.

  1. Ask yourself why you want to stop.
  2. Is the reason sound? 
  3. Determine the verdict.

Can you think about a time you should have thrown in the towel instead of trying again? Can you see now how you might have changed your approach or direction for a better outcome? 

None of us like rejection. We aren’t going into something excited that there is a 50/50 split of yes or no, win or lose. Most of us don’t haphazardly throw spaghetti hoping it will stick. We’ve done our homework, researched our ideas, put in the long hours, vowed dedication, and yet still have a 50% chance it won’t work.

Not giving up the first time can have everything to do with timing and little to do with the actual idea or process. BUT, it’s important to evaluate that before you continue to insert a square peg in a round hole. 

Dr. Guy Winch helps us understand the impact with The Essential Guide for Recovering From Failure - found on psychology.com

  1. Failure makes our goals seem tougher. 
  2. Failure makes our abilities seem weaker.
  3. Failure damages our motivation.
  4. Failure makes us risk-averse.
  5. Failure limits our ability to think outside the box.
  6. Failure makes us feel helpless.
  7. Failure leads us to make incorrect and damaging generalizations.

Having the courage to keep going is a feeling that may not immediately come but instead, might take a bit of encouragement. Just like understanding your part in the failed attempt isn’t always easy but will help you uncover key elements of your wants, needs, desires, and limitations. 

Not everything is supposed to work out. The good thing is, given another try, you have the opportunity to do it again, with more knowledge and understanding about yourself. 

Geoffery James gives us the steps in How to Recover From an Epic Fail -A step-by-step method for dealing with--and overcoming--a huge failure in your life or career.

  1. Stop complaining.
  2. Take responsibility.
  3. Forgive yourself.
  4. Celebrate the failure.
  5. Debrief yourself.
  6. Recommit yourself.
  7. Create a new plan.
  8. Reality-check your plan.
  9. Execute the plan.

I love creating, starting from an idea, to a plan, to execution. It’s exciting to see something tangible that was once just an idea in my head. As a result, I have created a wide variety of products that never quite made it off my shelf and onto someone else's. Some of them make me laugh today, especially thinking back to how serious I was at the time. Others, I think, just missed their window of opportunity.

Today, I’ve grown and my journey has given me a new lens. My creativity is still there but my thoughts are rooted around serving my true potential. If I would have given up, or if I had not recovered from my failed attempts, I would have missed out on a whole new world. A chance to come into my own and settle into the flow of mindful production and successful service. 

I’m thrilled that life taught me and I will forever be a lifelong learner continually practicing patience and persistence. 

Recovering From Failure Key Takeaways

  1. In everything, a healthy balance of push, pull and release.
  2. We only know what we know today and not only are our ideas growing but so are our capabilities
  3. Just because you don’t want to continue down this path, doesn’t mean you’re a quitter. It just means this path is not the one you’re supposed to take.
  4. GIVING UP is dropping something just because it’s pushing you out of your comfort zone.
  5. MOVING FORWARD is recognizing that what you’re doing is either not working or is making you miserable, then taking another course that gets you to your goal of what’s important.
  6. Wisdom comes from learning from our mistakes. 
  7. Remember what’s important to you, and ground yourself in that when you feel like giving up.
  8. Failure can impact us on an unconscious level and leave wounds that are far more psychologically devastating.
  9. The only thing we can conclude for sure after a failure is that we were unsuccessful at that particular task/goal, in that particular time, in those particular circumstances.
  10.  Having the courage to keep going is a feeling that may not immediately come but instead, might take a bit of encouragement.

CHALLENGE: use failure as a teacher and a guide. Instead of retreating with a one-and-done, evaluate what went wrong, own your responsibility, unleash what you can’t control, modify your approach or change your target then give it another go! 

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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