Encouragementology

Taking Ownership of Your Health and Wellness: Shifting from Vanity to Vitality

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we’re diving into a topic that’s close to the bone—literally; taking ownership of your health and wellness by shifting from vanity to vitality. Have you ever found yourself sweating it out at the gym, not for the love of health, but to fit into those jeans from high school? Or perhaps you’ve chosen a salad over a burger, not because you enjoy leafy greens, but because of that looming beach vacation? Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn’t about chasing a number on the scale or squeezing into last year’s shorts—it’s about reclaiming your joy, energy, and freedom. Imagine a life where exercise feels like play, eating well becomes self-care, and you’re motivated by how amazing you feel rather than how you think you should look. It’s time to trade body-shaming for body-celebrating and turn health into your personal happiness project. 

Let’s flip the script and explore how taking ownership of our health—both physical and mental—can lead to genuine freedom, rather than being shackled by societal expectations and self-imposed limitations.

Health is a holistic state encompassing physical fitness, mental well-being, and emotional balance. It’s about how we feel, function, and thrive in our daily lives, not just how we look. Understanding this broader perspective allows us to set more meaningful health goals that contribute to our overall quality of life.

I found an insightful article that delves into how body shaming can lead to long-term psychological and physical health issues, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. Not to be a downer but I think we need to start off by coming clean and getting to the heart of the matter. 

Dr.  Danielle Kelvis shares The Impact of Body Shaming: How It Affects Mental Health

Alex Davies questions Could soft fitness be your workout game-changer?

Over on the Ted Archive YouTube channel I found some amazing information and inspiration from Laurie Coots on The psychological weight loss strategy 

Now that we’ve unpacked the idea of shifting from vanity to vitality and explored the roots of body shaming, it’s time to talk about how to break the cycle. Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn’t about perfection or ticking off a checklist—it’s about building habits and a mindset that prioritize your happiness, freedom, and well-being. Here are practical steps to help you flip the narrative and take control of your health, both physically and mentally.

1. Reframe Your Motivations

Start by redefining your why. Instead of aiming for a certain size or shape, focus on how you want to feel. Maybe it’s more energy to keep up with your kids, a stronger body to tackle that hike, or a calmer mind to handle stress with grace. When your goals are tied to how you live, rather than how you look, they become more meaningful and sustainable.

Try This: Write down three non-aesthetic reasons you want to prioritize your health. Keep this list visible as a daily reminder of your real goals.

2. Silence the Inner Critic

That little voice in your head—the one that compares you to others, nitpicks your reflection, and measures your worth by numbers? It’s time to give it a new job. Turn your inner critic into your inner coach. Celebrate small wins, speak kindly to yourself, and replace criticism with encouragement.

Try This: When you catch yourself thinking something negative about your body, pause and reframe. For example, instead of “I hate my thighs,” try “These thighs carry me through my day.”

3. Move for Joy, Not Punishment

Exercise doesn’t have to be a grueling chore. It’s not about “burning off” last night’s dessert or earning your next meal. Movement is a celebration of what your body can do! Find activities you love—dancing, swimming, yoga, hiking—and let them be a source of fun and empowerment.

Try This: Experiment with new activities until you find one that feels like play, not punishment. Then, schedule it into your week as a gift to yourself.

4. Fuel Your Body with Respect

Ditch the diet mentality that labels foods as “good” or “bad.” Instead, think about nourishment. Choose foods that make you feel strong, energized, and satisfied. It’s not about restriction—it’s about respect for your body.

Try This: Instead of cutting out your favorite foods, add in more of the good stuff—colorful fruits, veggies, whole grains, and proteins—and notice how they make you feel.

5. Focus on Mental Health as Much as Physical

Health isn’t just about the body; it’s about the mind, too. Make time for mental self-care: meditation, journaling, therapy, or simply unplugging from screens. A healthy mind is the foundation for making lasting changes to your physical health.

Try This: Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things each day that you’re thankful for about your body and mind.

6. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

The people and messages you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your mindset. Seek out communities that celebrate all body types, avoid toxic comparisons on social media, and spend time with people who uplift and support you.

Try This: Curate your social media feed by unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate and following those that inspire body positivity and health for happiness.

7. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

Changing ingrained patterns and beliefs isn’t easy. It takes time, effort, and a lot of self-compassion. Remember, progress isn’t linear. You’ll have setbacks, but they don’t erase your progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend.

Try This: When you hit a rough patch, remind yourself, “I’m not starting over—I’m continuing from where I left off.”

CHALLENGE: Redefine your approach to health by focusing on activities and habits that enhance your overall well-being, not just your appearance. Embrace this holistic perspective to unlock a happier, freer, and more vibrant version of yourself.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It! 

The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are embracing the art of saying no as we get better at setting boundaries to protect our energy. Have you ever caught yourself nodding yes before you’ve even heard the question? Like, ‘Can you…?’ and there it is—‘Sure!’ Before you know it, you’re knee-deep in a commitment you never wanted. Let’s face it—saying no can feel like the ultimate guilty pleasure. We’re so conditioned to be helpful, agreeable, and superhuman that declining a request feels like we’re letting the world down. But guess what? Protecting your energy isn’t just okay—it’s essential! In this episode, we’re diving into the art of saying no, not as a rejection but as a way to honor yourself, your values, and your time. We’ll explore what boundaries really mean, why they matter, and how to say no without the guilt trip.  

So let’s use t  hat overcommitted superhero cape for some well-deserved boundaries and exploring how to protect your precious energy. It’s time to take back your power, one polite decline at a time!

Let’s start by getting on the same page about what we mean when we talk about boundaries. No, we’re not talking about fences or “Do Not Enter” signs—although sometimes those might feel necessary! Boundaries, in this context, are the invisible lines we draw to define what’s okay and not okay for us. They’re like the personal rules of engagement for how we let others interact with our time, energy, and emotions.

Think about it: we all have a limited amount of energy each day. It’s like a rechargeable battery, but unlike your phone, there’s no power bank to save you when you’re at 1%. So, when you’re constantly saying yes—whether it’s agreeing to bake 200 cookies for the school fundraiser, staying late at work for the fifth time this week, or playing therapist to your overly dramatic friend—you’re draining that battery. And let’s be real, once it’s gone, it’s gone. That’s why boundaries are so important—they help us protect and prioritize our energy.

But here’s the tricky part: why is it so hard to say no? For many of us, it’s because we don’t want to disappoint others. We crave approval, we want to be liked, and sometimes we just want to avoid the awkwardness of conflict. So we end up overcommitting, stretching ourselves too thin, and feeling resentful—or worse, burnt out.

Let’s flip the script. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you smart. Think of boundaries as your personalized life GPS, directing you toward the things that matter most and steering you away from unnecessary detours. They help you stay focused, reduce stress, and create stronger, more respectful relationships.

And here’s a bonus: setting boundaries can actually improve your relationships. How? Because people know where they stand with you, and that clarity builds trust. When you say yes, they’ll know you genuinely mean it, and that makes your commitment even more valuable.

So, let’s embrace this idea of boundaries not as barriers but as bridges to a more intentional, energized life. Up next, we’ll explore how to actually do this—and trust me, it doesn’t involve wearing a “No Thanks” T-shirt, although that could be a fun start!”

Sian Ferguson confesses I’m a People Pleaser Who Tried Saying "No" to Everything for a Week—Here’s What Happened found at Very Well Mind

On Self, Jenna Ryu gives us (or me) 5 Little Ways to Practice Setting Boundaries If You’re a Recovering People Pleaser

No worries, help’s on the way. On Terri Cole’s YouTube Channel, I found Saying "No" Without Justifying or Over-Explaining 

CHALLENGE:  Protect your energy by setting boundaries that reflect your values. The next time you’re asked to overextend yourself, pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to say no. Remember, every ‘no’ you say to something that drains you is a ‘yes’ to something that fuels you.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Memory Lane: A Journey to Well-Being and Growth

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a meaningful walk down Memory Lane as we journey to well-being and growth.  Do you ever find yourself deep in thought, wondering why a certain memory pops into your head unannounced? It’s like your brain says, ‘Hey, remember that one time you spilled coffee on your boss’s desk? Classic!’ Memories are our personal time capsules filled with joy, heartache, and lessons we’d rather not repeat. But why are they so sticky? What makes them essential to our well-being, and how can we honor them without getting stuck in the past? Let’s dive into the treasure chest of our minds and figure out how these moments shape, heal, and even save us.

Welcome to Memory Lane, where the roads are paved with laughter and tears, the occasional pothole of embarrassment, and some scenic overlooks that make you go, “Wow, I’ve come a long way!” But before we start skipping down the lane hand-in-hand with nostalgia, let’s talk about what makes these little snapshots in our minds so special—and sometimes so puzzling.

What are memories, anyway?

Think of your brain as the ultimate personal assistant—it stores your to-do lists, your grocery store disasters, and that one karaoke performance you wish it would forget. Memories are essentially your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this moment? Worth keeping.” They’re formed when our experiences are encoded in the brain, stored for safekeeping, and then retrieved when needed—or, you know, when you’re trying to sleep at 3 a.m. UGH every night!

The sciencey bit (but fun, I promise):

There are two main types of memory:

• Short-term memory: Like a post-it note for your brain. It’s where you store quick info like, “Where did I put my keys?” Spoiler alert: you’ll still lose them.
• Long-term memory: These are the biggies—your first dance, the smell of your grandma’s cookies, or that epic road trip. They stick around because they matter.

Why do they matter?

Memories are more than just the greatest hits of your life—they’re your compass, your roadmap, and your connection to the world. They shape how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you make sense of everything. Without them, you’d be like a GPS with no destination input—just aimlessly wandering through life!

A fun little detour:

Ever notice how a certain smell or song can hit you like a time machine? That’s called memory triggers, and they’re sneaky little things. One whiff of sunscreen, and suddenly you’re 10 years old at the beach, building sandcastles and eating questionable hot dogs. Or maybe it’s hearing that one song that reminds you of your high school crush—cue Sister Christian, awkward dances, and terrible fashion choices.

So, before we dive into how to honor and heal through these moments, let’s take a second to appreciate this magical filing system in our heads. Your memories are proof that you’ve lived, loved, and learned—whether that lesson was to never attempt bangs again or to cherish the people who make life worth remembering.

At the International Educator, Elke Greite shares more about The Role Of Memory In Identity and Education

Dr. Kate Truitt gives us some good insight into Healing Through the Art of Storytelling

On Ted-Ed’s YouTube Channel, I found How Memories Form and How We Lose Them by Catharine Young

CHALLENGE: Take time this week to revisit one memory that brings you joy and reflect on how it has shaped you. Then, create a new moment to treasure—because the story of your life deserves another great chapter.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Power of Habit: Creating and Sustaining Positive Behaviors

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring The Power of Habit as we aim to create and sustain positive behaviors. Habits—those sneaky little routines that either keep us on track or derail us faster than a spilled cup of coffee on Monday morning. Whether it’s hitting snooze one too many times, grabbing that extra cookie you swore you wouldn’t, or finally nailing a consistent workout routine, habits shape our lives more than we realize.

But here’s the good news: habits aren’t just hardwired; they can be rewired. So let’s dive deep into what makes habits stick, why they’re so stubborn, and how we can transform even the tiniest shifts into life-changing routines.

Think of it like building a house—you don’t lay the roof first; you start with one solid brick at a time. The same goes for habits: small, intentional changes can lead to extraordinary growth. So, get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even uncover a habit or two you didn’t know you had! Let’s crack the code to better routines and a better you.

First, let’s define what a habit is and how it’s formed. A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. According to Psychology Today, habit formation is the process by which behaviors become automatic through repetition. This process involves a three-step pattern known as the “habit loop”: cue, routine, and reward. The cue triggers the behavior, the routine is the behavior itself, and the reward is the benefit you gain from doing the behavior, which reinforces the habit. 

In my exploration of habits, I came across an insightful article titled “The Science of Habit: How to Rewire Your Brain” from Healthline. 

Let’s end with some uplifting inspiration. On the Motivation Ark’s YouTube channel, I found, a Motivational Speech By James Clear 

CHALLENGE: Identify one habit that has the power to transform your life. Commit wholeheartedly to practicing it every day for the next 30 days, knowing that each small, consistent step rewires your mind and strengthens your foundation for growth. Remember, positive habits are the seeds of lasting change, and every repetition brings you closer to the best version of yourself.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Navigating the Middle Ground: Open-Mindedness vs. Firm Beliefs

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are trying to achieve a balance between open-mindedness and firm beliefs as we navigate the middle ground. Staying true to your convictions is one position you can take but how does that stance affect the way you embrace new ideas and differing opinions?

Ever feel like you’re walking a mental tightrope, trying to keep an open mind while staying true to what you believe? It’s like trying to balance on a seesaw with a curious toddler on one end and a stubborn goat on the other—challenging, unpredictable, and sometimes a little funny in hindsight. In this episode, we’re exploring how to navigate the middle ground between welcoming new ideas and standing firm in your values. We’ll tackle the fear of being too easily swayed, the risks of being stuck in your ways, and that frustrating paralysis that comes from overthinking it all. Let’s dive in, find our balance, and discover how to approach life’s challenges with curiosity and confidence. 

Let’s make sure we all understand the definition of Open-Mindedness:

• The willingness to consider new ideas and perspectives.
• Misconception: Being open-minded means accepting everything without question.

Feel risky? If so, you might have fear around:

• Losing your identity.
• Being coerced into decisions you wouldn’t normally make.
• The slippery slope of “people-pleasing” or over-compromise.

I hear you—it’s exhausting trying to make sense of the conflicting messages we’re bombarded with daily. “Stand your ground!” but “Embrace diverse ideas.” “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything!” yet “You’re narrow-minded if you don’t change your mindset to fit everyone else’s.” Whoa, slow down! Where do we even start?

For me, it’s all about a multi-pronged approach. I pray, listen to my heart, try to see the bigger picture, and seek knowledge—always in that order. I trust myself, but let’s be real, I don’t know everything, and I can’t navigate life’s challenges alone. When I feel that pressure or tension to believe something or act a certain way, I take a step back and ask, “Why?” Why am I feeling this way? This simple pause keeps me from rushing into conclusions or making impulsive decisions.

Here’s the thing: I think many of us adopt an idea and fiercely protect it before we’ve really researched or tested it. It’s human nature to want to feel confident and certain, but what if we took a moment to explore, question, and truly understand? That’s where real balance and growth begin.

At Psychology Compass I found how you have to Contradict yourself to become more open-minded

On Forbes, Dr. Alice G. Walton offers 7 Science-Backed Methods To Get You Out Of Your Head

On The Table’s YouTube channel, I found Changing Your Mind: Virtue or Vice. 

So what happens when you find yourself in this overwhelming push/pull situation in your thinking? What causes it and how do we overcome it?

Fear of Making the “Wrong” Decision or Offending Others

The Issue:

• Many of us freeze at the thought of making a decision that might upset someone or turn out to be a mistake. This fear can be paralyzing, leading to second-guessing or endless deliberation.

How to Overcome It:

• Embrace the idea that no decision is ever truly final—most can be adjusted or revisited. Shift your mindset from “right vs. wrong” to “learning and growing.” Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress.

Being Stuck in Indecision Due to Conflicting Inner Voices

The Issue:

• One part of you says, “Stay safe and stick to what you know,” while another whispers, “Take a risk and explore new possibilities.” This inner tug-of-war can leave you immobilized.

How to Overcome It:

• Practice tuning into each voice without judgment. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst-case scenario? What’s the best-case scenario?” Write these down and weigh the options. Sometimes seeing your thoughts in writing can bring clarity.

Here are some more practical ways to break free:

1. Pause and Reflect Without Judgment

• When faced with pressure or indecision, step back and take a breather. Don’t rush into action or self-criticism. Use simple tools like deep breathing, journaling, or a quiet walk to clear your head.

2. Set Boundaries: Know When to Listen and When to Step Away

• Not every conversation or input requires your full engagement. If external opinions are overwhelming you, give yourself permission to politely step back. A simple, “Thank you for sharing—I need some time to think this through,” can go a long way.

3. Practice Mindful Decision-Making

• Approach decisions with intentionality. Focus on what aligns with your values and goals rather than what pleases others. Break larger decisions into smaller steps to make them feel less daunting, and celebrate each small step forward.

CHALLENGE: Pause and reflect the next time you feel pulled in opposite directions—take a moment to tune into your heart, weigh your values, and explore new perspectives without judgment. Commit to standing firm in what matters most to you while staying open to growth, knowing that true balance is found in the space between.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Finding Your Way Back to Peace

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a deeper look at stress in an attempt to find our way back to peace. No matter what your level of stress is, everyone can benefit from a more peaceful existence because life can sometimes feel like an endless juggling act, and let’s be real—most of us are using bowling pins instead of tennis balls. Between the pressure to perform, the nagging feeling of not being good enough, and the constant stress of “adulting,” it’s no wonder so many of us are stuck in a cycle of burnout. But here’s the good news: there’s a way to hit the pause button, reclaim your peace, and rewrite the narrative playing in your head.

In this episode, we’re diving into how to manage stress, tackle the relentless inner critic, and embrace the idea that you’re not just “enough”—you’re extraordinary. We’ll explore why so many of us feel like we’re falling short, unpack the serious toll this mindset takes on our health, and share practical, empowering strategies to help you flip the script. Because let’s face it, you deserve to feel good about yourself—and that starts today. Ready? With peace being the ultimate destination, let’s chart a course offering valuable pitstops along the way.

Maybe you sometimes feel stress but not sure it’s all bad or that you suffer from too much stress. Maybe the word Peace conjures up tie-die an hemp necklaces instead of a tranquil existence. Let’s start with a few definitions to make sure we’re all on the same page:

Stress: a feeling of emotional strain and pressure that occurs when a person perceives an event as taxing or endangering their well-being. 

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

Ok, simple enough? Hardly.

At Healthline, I found Why Americans Are More Stressed Today Than They Were in the 1990s

Kira M. Newman helps us understand What to Do When You Never Feel Good Enough found on Greater Good

On Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, I found, Stress, Anxiety, and Worry

Self-regulation tools can be divided into quick fixes for immediate relief and long-term health practices for sustained well-being. 

• Quick Fixes: Excellent for acute stress or when you need fast relief.
• Long-Term Practices: Create a buffer against future stress and support sustained emotional balance.
• Integration: Use quick fixes during high-stress moments while building long-term habits for resilience.

Quick Fixes

These are tools you can use in the moment to calm stress or regain focus. While effective for immediate needs, they don’t address the underlying causes of dysregulation.

Deep Breathing

• Take 4-5 deep breaths, inhaling for a count of 4, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4.
• Quick relaxation of the nervous system.

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

• Identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
• Redirects focus and alleviates anxiety.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

• Tense and release muscle groups from head to toe.
• Relieves physical tension caused by stress.

Short Walk or Movement Break

• A brisk 5-10 minute walk outside or light stretching.
• Boosts mood by releasing endorphins and clearing the mind.

Journaling for 5 Minutes

• Write down your thoughts or worries.
• Provides mental clarity and emotional relief.

Mindful Distraction

• Engage in a quick, enjoyable activity like a puzzle or music.
• Offers temporary relief by shifting attention.

Long-Term Health Practices

These build resilience and create a foundation for improved self-regulation over time.

Mindfulness Meditation

• Commit to 10-20 minutes daily to cultivate present-moment awareness.
• Reduces stress and improves emotional regulation.

Exercise Routine

• Regular aerobic activity like walking, yoga, or cycling 3-5 times a week.
• Strengthens mind-body connection and releases stress-reducing chemicals.

Sleep Hygiene

• Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep with a consistent bedtime routine.
• Regulates mood, energy, and cognitive function.

Healthy Nutrition

• Focus on a balanced diet with whole foods, reducing caffeine and sugar.
• Supports mental clarity and stable energy levels.

Therapeutic Practices

• Engage in regular therapy, counseling, or self-reflection exercises.
• Addresses root causes of stress and emotional dysregulation.

Regular Gratitude Practice

• Write down 3 things you’re grateful for daily.
• Shifts perspective and fosters resilience.

Learning Emotional Regulation Skills

• Techniques like cognitive reframing or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
• Provides tools to manage triggers and stress more effectively.

CHALLENGE:  Start small. Identify one stressor in your life and address it with a calming technique we discussed, like deep breathing or reframing your thoughts. Then, commit to taking one small step toward asking for support or setting a boundary—because your peace is worth protecting.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Living in Gratitude: Beyond the Discovery

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are going beyond the discovery and exploring what an ongoing life of gratitude, looks like. We all know the buzz about finding gratitude—it’s like the self-help world’s holy grail. But let’s be real, what’s the point of finding something amazing if you don’t know how to hold onto it? It’s like finding the perfect snack in the pantry and then eating it all in one go—gone too soon! Gratitude shouldn’t be a one-hit wonder; it’s meant to be the background music of your life, playing on repeat.

In this episode, we’re diving into what happens after you find gratitude. How can you turn those fleeting “thank goodness” moments into a sustainable practice? What does it do for your day-to-day mood and the bigger picture of your life? And, most importantly, how can you live in gratitude rather than treating it like a magic wand you wave when things get rough? 

Let’s explore how to make gratitude less of a to-do list item and more of a way of being—because a grateful heart isn’t just lighter, it’s stronger. Buckle up, this journey will leave you feeling uplifted and ready to embrace life’s magic, one thankful moment at a time!

So if I asked you, what is your gratitude practice, what would you say? Journaling, prayer, when someone reminds me, or only around the table one day of the year? Well, I might be all of the above. I do usually start a prayer with what I’m thankful for and I have been known to journal a gratitude list a time or two. I even have a group chat with some diligent members who prompt me to steer my morning in a thoughtful and thankful way. But how can we go from using gratitude as a quick fix to truly integrating it into their lives?

Sheldon Reid shares The Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice It found in the Help Guide

John Bradley makes the connection between the transformative duo: Gratitude and Empathy: Cultivating Understanding and Compassion for Others. Found on Medium.

On Fearless Soul’s YouTube channel, I found Say "Thank You" - Motivation On The Importance Of Gratitude - what a nice and uplifting way to end.

Just like any good habit, gratitude requires intentionality and practice to turn it from a fleeting feeling into a lasting lifestyle. Here’s how you can build a gratitude practice that not only sticks but transforms the way you see the world:

1. Anchor Gratitude to Daily Habits

One of the easiest ways to make gratitude sustainable is to attach it to something you already do. For example:

• Morning Routine: Start each day by naming three things you’re grateful for before getting out of bed or while sipping your coffee.
• Mealtime: Reflect on what you’re grateful for as part of saying grace or a moment of mindfulness before eating.
• Evening Wind-Down: End the day with a gratitude journal entry or a quick reflection on the best part of your day.

2. Practice Gratitude in Action

Gratitude is most powerful when it’s expressed, not just felt. Find ways to act on your gratitude:

• Write thank-you notes to people who’ve made a difference in your life, whether recently or years ago.
• Compliment someone genuinely and specifically—it could brighten their day and remind you of what you appreciate about others.
• Volunteer your time or donate to causes you’re passionate about as a way of giving back in gratitude.

3. Incorporate Gratitude Into Challenges

Gratitude isn’t just for sunny days. It becomes truly transformative when applied during tough times. When faced with challenges:

• Look for the lesson or growth opportunity in the situation.
• Reflect on past difficulties and what they taught you.
• Focus on the support or resources you have to navigate the challenge.

4. Surround Yourself with Gratitude Cues

Sometimes we need a little nudge to keep our gratitude practice on track. Set up reminders and cues in your environment:

• Place sticky notes with positive affirmations or gratitude prompts on your mirror, desk, or fridge.
• Use a gratitude app or set a daily reminder on your phone to pause and reflect.
• Display photos, keepsakes, or mementos that remind you of meaningful people, moments, or accomplishments.

5. Create a Gratitude Accountability Partner

Everything’s more fun (and sustainable) with a buddy! Share your gratitude goals with a friend or family member and check in with each other regularly. This could be as simple as exchanging texts about what you’re grateful for or meeting up to talk about the positive things happening in your lives.

CHALLENGE: Gratitude isn’t just something you find—it’s something you live, and the real magic happens when you let it ripple through your thoughts, choices, and connections. Challenge yourself to go beyond fleeting moments of thankfulness and create a practice that transforms your perspective, strengthens your relationships, and fuels your joy every single day!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Value of Community: Building, Belonging, and Blooming Together

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are building, belonging, and blooming together as we explore and celebrate, the value of community. When you think of the word ‘community,’ what comes to mind? Is it a neighborhood, a friend group, or maybe something you long for but haven’t found yet? If the self-proclaimed “loner” still needs to feel connected and supported. People need people. The popular song sheds some valuable insight: We're children, needing other children and yet letting a grown-up pride hide all the need inside.

So let’s talk about community—the people who lift you up, laugh at your bad jokes, and sometimes even remind you to take down your trash. Community isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s a life-changing, soul-nourishing, growth-accelerating gift. Whether it’s your ride-or-die crew, a group of neighbors, or a virtual squad cheering you on from afar, we all need a tribe. Don’t have one? No problem! You can start your own—it’s easier than you think and way more fun than going it alone.

In this episode, we’ll explore why community matters, how to spot a good one (or a bad one), and how finding your people can help you truly bloom. Because life’s too short to be lonely—let’s build something beautiful together!

Jenny Anderson shares some advice on The only metric of success that really matters is the one we ignore found on Quartz

At Conscious Mommy I found Building a Conscious Village:  Connection When You’re Feeling Lonely

On the Dare to Do YouTube channel, I found The Pencil's Tale - a story that everyone should hear

Ever got sucked into a toxic community? Detecting and avoiding a toxic community requires awareness of behaviors, patterns, and overall group dynamics. Here are some ways to identify and steer clear of toxic environments:

Signs of a Toxic Community

1. Lack of Respect or Boundaries:

• Members disregard personal boundaries, gossip, or belittle others.
• Communication is often passive-aggressive or openly hostile.

 

• Negative Energy and Drama:

• Frequent conflicts, constant complaints, or pervasive negativity dominate interactions.
• People focus on tearing others down rather than lifting them up.

 

• Exclusion and Cliques:

• Some members are deliberately excluded, creating a sense of “in-group” versus “out-group.”
• Newcomers or outsiders are treated with suspicion or disdain.

 

• Excessive Control:

• Leaders or prominent members exert control, demanding loyalty or conformity.
• There is little room for differing opinions or individuality.

 

• Unhealthy Competition:

• Members are pitted against each other or judged based on unrealistic standards.
• Success is envied rather than celebrated, fostering resentment.

 

• Physical or Emotional Drain:

• Interactions leave you feeling anxious, upset, or drained rather than supported or empowered.
• A sense of obligation to stay outweighs genuine enjoyment.

 

How to Avoid or Leave Toxic Communities

 

• Set Personal Boundaries:

• Be clear about what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate. Practice saying no when necessary.

 

• Observe Before Joining:

• Take time to assess a group’s dynamics before committing. Observe how members treat one another and handle disagreements.

 

• Seek Positive Attributes:

• Look for communities with mutual respect, empathy, and inclusivity.
• Find groups that share your values and encourage growth.

 

• Reflect on How You Feel:

• Regularly evaluate how the community impacts your mental and emotional health. If it’s consistently negative, consider stepping away.

 

• Speak Up or Address Issues:

• If you’re invested in the group, try addressing the toxic behavior directly or with leaders. However, recognize when change is unlikely.

 

• Focus on Building or Joining Healthy Communities:

• Seek out groups aligned with your interests, where people share goals of positivity, support, and mutual respect.
• Consider starting your own community with values you prioritize, such as open communication and collaboration.

CHALLENGE: Step into the power of community by surrounding yourself with people who inspire, challenge, and uplift you—because the connections you nurture today will shape your happiness, health, and purpose tomorrow!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Power of Influence: Recognizing What Shapes Us and Taking Control

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring the power of influence, recognizing what shapes us, and taking back control. We have all been bombarded with messaging asking, begging, and sometimes coercing us to think, feel, and take action. Where do your own thoughts hide in the midst of such assaults? Influence as a pervasive force in our lives that can shape our choices, our mindset, and even our identity. It can feel like a current—sometimes it gently guides us, but other times it’s strong enough to sweep us off our feet. The key is in recognizing where influence is coming from and deciding how much power to give it. Let’s take a big breathe here and make a commitment to unpack, resort, and purge some influencing ideas that no longer serve us in a positive way. 

Influence is more than just peer pressure; it’s subtle and can come from various sources—family, friends, social media, society, our inner dialogue, and even our environment. 

• A close friend’s advice feels comforting but can sometimes lead you down their path instead of yours.
• Social media trends can push you to buy, think, or act in ways you normally wouldn’t.
• Influence of a mentor or a loved one can impactfully shape your values and ambitions.

Tyler Jensen, a psychotherapist,  sheds some light on The Allure of Negativity: Why Our Brains Are Drawn to It

At Knowledge of Wharton, I found ‘Invisible Influence’: What Really Shapes Our Decisions, an interview with the author Jonah Berger

On Simon Sinek’s YouTube channel, as always, I found some wise words  on How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

1. Develop Media Literacy and Mindful Consumption

• Pause and Evaluate: Before you engage with media (whether it’s news, social media, or entertainment), take a moment to reflect on what you’re about to consume. Ask yourself why you’re choosing this source, and consider whether it aligns with your values or goals.
• Question the Source: Develop a habit of asking, “Who created this, and what might be their motivation?” For example, consider whether a brand, influencer, or network could have hidden interests. Recognizing potential biases helps you stay in control of how you interpret information.

2. Limit Exposure to Influential Sources

• Set Boundaries: If you notice certain media or social media accounts lead to self-doubt, stress, or unhealthy comparison, consider unfollowing, muting, or setting a time limit on those platforms.
• Curate Positive Influences: Choose to follow people, brands, and organizations that support your goals, align with your values, and inspire you in constructive ways. Make it a rule to engage with content that adds positivity and growth to your life.

3. Strengthen Your Core Values

• Define Your Values: Reflect on what’s truly important to you, whether it’s integrity, creativity, kindness, learning, or independence. When you have a solid sense of your core values, it becomes easier to recognize when outside influence aligns or conflicts with them.
• Regularly Revisit Goals and Priorities: Set aside time each month to revisit your goals. Are you on track with what you want, or have you drifted because of external pressures? Realigning with your values keeps you grounded in your personal vision.

4. Practice Self-Questioning to Uncover Hidden Influence

• Ask Yourself Key Questions:
  • “Why do I want to do this?” This question can help you determine if a choice truly aligns with your desires or if it’s an idea you’ve absorbed from others.
  • “How do I feel about this?” Checking in with your feelings lets you see if you’re enthusiastic, uneasy, or pressured—emotions that reveal whether your decision is authentic.
  • “What would I do if no one else were watching?” Imagine you’re free of anyone’s opinion or judgment to help identify choices that are truly your own.

5. Build Confidence in Your Own Voice

• Challenge Yourself to Act on Your Opinions: Start with small decisions where you rely solely on your own thoughts. For example, choose an outfit based on your preference, pick a book that genuinely interests you, or make weekend plans based on what would make you happiest.
• Engage in Conversations with an Open Mind: Practice sharing your perspective in discussions, even if it’s different from others. Engaging with diverse opinions while sticking to your viewpoint can help build resilience and confidence in your own voice.

6. Create a Supportive Inner Circle

• Surround Yourself with Encouragers: Choose friends, mentors, and family members who respect your individuality and encourage you to make decisions that feel true to you. A supportive circle will uplift and validate you, rather than pressuring you to conform.
• Find Accountability Partners: Identify someone who’s also working on taking control of their influences and check in with each other. Share your progress, any struggles, and celebrate wins together to help reinforce each other’s growth.

7. Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility

• Recognize that Influence is Natural: Understand that we’re all influenced by our environments. Self-compassion can prevent you from feeling guilty if you realize you’ve been swayed in a direction you didn’t want. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and readjust.
• Be Open to Change: Sometimes, testing your perspective means you might genuinely change your opinion. That’s a sign of growth. The goal is to ensure that any changes reflect your evolving self rather than fleeting external pressures.

CHALLENGE: Remember, influence is a force we all experience, but it doesn’t have to control us. Recognize what’s guiding your path, decide what you want to allow in, and remember that you have the power to steer your own journey.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Navigating Feelings: Finding Balance Between Empathy and Self-Reflection

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we will be navigating feelings as we try to find a balance between empathy and self-reflection. How are you feeling? How do those feelings impact another person’s feelings? Can you feel what another person is feeling? Are you as confused as I am by this line of questioning? Well, today, we’re diving into the world of feelings—yes, that deep, squishy part of being human! We live in a culture that champions the importance of respecting feelings, which is awesome…but sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our feelings that we forget to take a peek at the other side of the coin. What happens when we’re hyper-focused on our own emotions? Could we be missing out on understanding someone else’s? Let’s explore the fine art of balancing self-reflection with empathy, of making room for our own feelings and those of the people around us. It’s all about connecting, growing, and creating more ‘aha’ moments in our relationships—with a little bit of humor, honesty, and a lot of heart along the way!

When I was growing up, the question, ‘How do you feel?’ had a whole different vibe. It was usually about the basics—are you hot, cold, tired, or maybe just a little hungry? When it came to health, the answer was usually straightforward: sick or not. If you were really under the weather, maybe you’d get a day at home or a trip to the nurse’s office. Simple. But today, that question has become a lot more nuanced. Now, asking ‘How do you feel?’ can open up a world of responses, as unique and layered as each person who answers it.

Don’t get me wrong, a focus on exploring more about feelings has helped normalize mental health discussions, reduced stigma, and empowered people to speak openly about their struggles. It has illuminated the need for self-awareness, stress management, and setting boundaries. However, focusing too much on personal feelings can sometimes limit our ability to connect empathetically with others. It can even contribute to misunderstandings in relationships if one person is more focused on expressing their own feelings versus listening to understand someone else’s emotional struggles.

Ever heard of emotional myopia – when we see only our own emotional perspective and may inadvertently neglect the feelings of others?

Martha Beck starts this discussion with Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots found on her blog

At Everyday Speach I found an angle we need to cover; Understanding Others: The Importance of Perspective-Taking

At the Worry Games, Lisa Branson shares another perspective on Why You Should Stop Focusing on Your Feelings

On TEDx Talks I found some wise information on Validation,and communication through Empathy by Naomi Feil

 

Recognizing when someone is playing on our emotions to push their own agenda can be tricky, but there are a few red flags that can help us stay aware:

1. Intense Emotional Appeal

• If someone is leaning heavily into emotions—guilt, pity, anger, or fear—without much substance or reason behind it, it’s a sign they might be trying to sway you emotionally rather than engaging in a balanced conversation. Notice if they’re frequently amplifying emotional language or using words designed to make you feel extreme sympathy or urgency.

2. Lack of Listening and Empathy

• People pushing an agenda will often avoid giving space to your feelings, opinions, or questions. If they dominate the conversation, rarely let you speak, or dismiss your perspective when you do, it’s a red flag. Genuine conversations include active listening; if it feels one-sided, trust that instinct.

3. Deflection and Manipulation of Responsibility

• When you try to express your own emotions or viewpoints, do they quickly shift the topic back to their own concerns or play down your feelings? Manipulators often turn things around to make you feel responsible for their emotions, a tactic to keep the focus on themselves and their goals.

4. Inconsistent Narratives or Exaggerations

• Listen for inconsistencies or exaggerated claims that don’t add up. Manipulators may bend the truth or overemphasize details to paint themselves in a certain light or to steer you toward a specific reaction. If something seems “off” or overly dramatic, trust your gut.

5. Pressure to Make Quick Decisions

• People pushing an agenda often create a sense of urgency, pressuring you to act or decide quickly. They know that when we’re rushed, we’re less likely to question or analyze their motives. Pausing and asking for time to think it over is often the best way to get clarity.

6. Using Past Events as Emotional Leverage

• Manipulators might bring up past events or your own vulnerabilities to make you feel indebted to them or guilty. They might even use their past generosity or sacrifices as leverage, nudging you to go along with their wishes. This type of guilt-tripping is a clear sign they’re trying to steer your emotions to benefit their narrative.

7. Trust Your Gut

• Sometimes, the simplest way to recognize manipulation is by trusting your own feelings. If you feel drained, confused, or somehow “off” after talking with them, this might be your intuition signaling that their intentions aren’t fully in your best interest.

By keeping an eye out for these signs, you can protect your emotional space and engage with people on your own terms, setting boundaries and staying true to your values.

CHALLENGE: Look beyond your own feelings and consider the bigger picture—what are others experiencing, and how can you make space for that? By balancing self-reflection with empathy, you can create deeper, more meaningful connections that benefit everyone involved.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!