Encouragementology
Coming to a Place of Acceptance and Moving On

Coming to a Place of Acceptance and Moving On

April 19, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are putting a pin in the “what ifs”, acknowledging our responsibility, and letting go so we can move on with peace and freedom. It’s time we give ourselves a pass. You will never have it all figured out, people, including yourself, will continue to shock and surprise you, and you don’t possess the power to change the past. You can, however, learn and grow as you navigate this complex thing called life. In order to move on, you need to come to a place of acceptance knowing what you have today, information, motive, apologies, or forgiveness will have to be enough. Feeling stuck and hopeless is an illusion. Emotions are powerful but you are stronger. Pick up each foot, quiet your spinning minds with ENOUGH, and reach a hand in front of you. Take your index finger and extend it forward because that’s where you are heading.

There are so many angles we can explore when it comes to acceptance so let’s leave no stone unturned. We’ve all heard or used the saying “It is what it is”. The perfect phrase for acceptance. It is that it means, "Oh well, nothing to do now but move on. It already happened and it can’t be changed or that’s just what it is and I can’t make it different." However you interpret the meaning, it means time to move on. 

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. – Nathaniel Branden

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. – William James

Acceptance is typically linked to loss. Accepting the loss of something in preparation of letting go and moving forward.  What have you lost that you are still in the process of accepting? How did you get there? How did you move on?

Mateja Klaric asks and answers, Why Is It So Hard to Accept a Loss? In her article for medium.com

At condolence.com I found more info on the Fifth Stage of Grief: Acceptance

Megan Bruneau, M.A. brings to light 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Acceptance in her article for mindbodygreen.com

Have you ever wondered, What Is Radical Acceptance?  Arlin Cuncic explores this question in their article for verywellmind.com

CHALLENGE: accept what you can not change. Instead of resisting and living in a constant state of suffering. Reach out, explore your options, and be open and willing to invite in new emotions. You deserve to feel free. 

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Embracing a New Season Without the Familiar Fear

Embracing a New Season Without the Familiar Fear

April 12, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we’re throwing open the shutters and coming into the light as we boldly embrace a new season without the familiar fear we’ve become accustomed to. Change is inevitable so instead of cowering or resisting, we are setting our sights on something new. This time we WILL be curious, we WILL welcome new ideas, we WILL be mindful of our needs, we WILL reach out when we need comfort and connection, and we WILL enjoy our ever-evolving life! John F Kennedy said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future.” Rumi said, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Let’s explore the different seasons of life and our willingness or resistance to change. It’s also important to acknowledge the fear and when it threatens progress to get to the root of its existence. 

I love the quote from Rumi because it represents two seasons of thought. The first season is when you are slugging it out with life trying to get ahead and finding your place in the world. You’re passionate and driven, believing in your ability to be a world-changer. Now you might be there now or be on your way to a future season thinking HEY, I’m still passionate and driven and believe I have the power to affect change. No doubt - hear me out. The biggest change in these two seasons happens with a level of self-awareness and a shift in your approach. 

Quoting a Micheal Jackson’s song here: If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a change you better get it right while you’ve got the time cause if you close your heart then you close your mind!

That’s where self-awareness comes into play. You have the power but how do you define power and then how do you exercise that power? Does power mean exerting strong physical energy over something or does it mean self-control and the power to change your perception, your ideas and opinions, and your own mind? Coming to a powerful revelation in your own mind can affect measurable change. 

I still feel as powerful as I did in my earlier seasons but I feel more empowered to do something with the knowledge that I’ve collected. Experiences, trials, failures, re-engineering, new connections, new experiences, additional challenges, successes, celebrations…..all of this made me and is making you who you are. That’s what we see when we look in the mirror. Self-reflection is the only way to invoke change in your life. 

Connie Mathers starts us off with ​​How to Thrive During the Four Seasons of Life

Found at developgoodhabits.com

Paula at thirteenthoughts.com digs into OVERCOMING FEAR + EMBRACING CHANGE

Happeemindz.com reminds us that Self Awareness: A mechanism to change one's life

I want to leave you with some expert advice from Jack Canfield, 4 Tips to Help You Accept & Embrace Change

CHALLENGE: no matter what season of you’re life you’re leaving and embracing, take a look in the mirror and check in with your willingness to change. Awareness rationalizes assumed beliefs and gives clarity to perception.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Power of Suggestion and Standing Your Ground

The Power of Suggestion and Standing Your Ground

April 5, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are aiming to evaluate our thoughts, exercise our intuition, and challenge our rational thinking as we avoid getting swayed by the power of suggestion, instead, standing our ground. How often do we take the time to question our thinking; is that how I feel or is that how they want me to feel? It all seems a bit blurry. Ideas and opinions, demands and ultimatums, bombarding us into a state of confusion. We feel this intense sense of urgency and because of that, we can find ourselves making rash decisions. “You are either for IT or against IT…come on which is IT”? Exactly…can I ask, “What is IT?”  That pressure and the promise of a self-paced life journey are in complete contrast. Like two roads in the wood, which would you choose?  A quote from Erich Fromm, Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be…Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before. 

I’ve been in sales and marketing for over 30 years so I am well aware of the power of suggestion. It’s my job to be persuasive and persistent. Persuasion:  recommending a product or service that would benefit this person and convincing them, with logical and rational resources, to take action. The persistent part comes by never giving up. But let’s dive deeper into this idea of persuasion and how it relates to the power of suggestion. Every day and quite possibly, hourly, you’re being sold. Images, videos, commercials, taglines, slogans, arguments, offers, discounts…the list can go on and on. Your mind is busy all day long making choices. 

You get up and make a choice of how to start your day, what to have for breakfast, and what to wear. At work it feels like that’s all you do all day long, managing your time, resources, meetings, co-workers, clients…all choices. You come home or head to your after-work extracurricular, time with friends, time with kids, time with your spouse or other obligations; honey-dos, projects, extra jobs, volunteerism, you name it. Choices. 

When do you get time to think, ponder, rationalize, evaluate, or consider. To get all that done in a single day requires rapid-fire decisions. YES, NO, and not a whole lot of room for Maybe. 

So let's go back to that idea of persuasion: recommending a product or service that would benefit this person and convincing them, with logical and rational resources, to take action.

Is that what’s happening? Do you believe everyone intent on getting your attention and winning your action is recommending a product or service that would benefit you? Then do you feel like they are convincing you with logical and rational resources? 

Whoa….I see a pretty big discrepancy how about you?

Over at exploringyourmind.com I found more info on The Power of Suggestion

Robert Evans Wilson Jr gives the advertising perspective with How Subtle Suggestions Can Alter Your Behavior

 Mark Grilli gives us a peek into the future with How the Power of Suggestion Will Change the Way We Use Content, found at thetilt.com

Now Polly Campbell helps with strategy 4 Ways the Power of Suggestion Can Change Your Life found at psycologytoday.com 

Olivia Pennelle leaves us feeling empowered with The Power of Mastering Your Own Mind, found at shondaland.com

 

CHALLENGE: let your mind be the compass for your journey. Take the time to evaluate how you feel and when needed, choose to research what’s important to make your decision. When you assert your authority, you are in control. 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful What You Wish For

March 29, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking our time, letting the candle wax run as we explore the warning; be careful what you wish for. I’m sure you’ve thought about it before, if I could have anything, what would I wish for? You might have even played the game when you were young, three wishes. Some of you might have chosen simply, for the moment and others of you might have taken your time, savoring each wish and thinking of an all-encompassing answer. “I wish for unlimited wishes”. But how many of you thought of the after wish. You know that time after the wish has been granted. What now? How do you live with your choice? How do you manage the gift? Sometimes it’s not as simple as granting you what you want but instead, there could be strings attached or conditions. What if it weren’t that simple and instead, every wish led to an extended responsibility. Maybe instead of wishing you find contentment where you are and with what you have. Intriguing? Maybe, let’s dig in and see.

I recently read a book, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. In the story, the main character, Adeline is desperately trying to get out of an arranged marriage at the end of the 17th century in France. She has befriended a lady of the woods who taught her to pray to many other gods besides the religious God her parents worshiped. She warned her never to pray at night because the God of the night wasn’t a good god but an evil one. Unfortunately, that is just what happened. In her desperation to escape and not be owned by anyone, she made a deal with the devil. She could live forever, independently but when surrendered, her soul would be his. 

She was 23 at the time of the deal and she would be 23 for centuries. Sounds amazing huh? Never growing old and bonus, she could never die which meant, any injury or accident was immediately rectified. 

BUT you didn’t think the devil would make it that rich did you? Now the conditions. Why couldn’t she be owned or controlled by anyone? Because as soon as she left their sight, even exiting a room, she was immediately forgotten. She wasn’t allowed to say her name or make a mark in any way on this world. Think about that? She couldn’t get a job, rent a room, have a friend, or make a home. She couldn’t build on more than the first meeting with anyone. No one remembered her. Let that sink in for a minute. 

What if no one remembered you or what you did? I think we’ve all wished for eternal youth but imagine if this were the consequence?

Don Hall gives us another example to set the stage: Monkey's Paw Wishes and the Consequences of Want found at literateape.com

Mike Fishbein helps us understand The Happiness Trap: Why You’re Never Satisfied and How to Break the Cycle found at medium.com

At aconsiousrethink.com I found 6 Sad Reasons Why You Are Never Satisfied In Life (+ How To Be)

I want to leave you with 4 Inspiring Messages from The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

CHALLENGE: count your lucky stars and find gratitude in the life you have. Before you make a deal for more, explore the conditions and impact a wish granted will have on your life. It’s all in the power of perception.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Asking for, Offering, and Receiving Forgiveness

Asking for, Offering, and Receiving Forgiveness

March 22, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are laying our cards on the table and summoning the courage to ask, offer, and receive forgiveness. It might sound simple but far from it. Guaranteed you’ve got some sort of shame or guilt stowing away in the baggage you’ve been dragging around for decades. Maybe you haven't come to terms with it or you’ve convinced yourself with faulty justification just to get by, but it’s there. Well today, with your permission, we are going to unpack it with the attempts to sort it out. Forgiveness is multifaceted which is why we are looking at the concept from multiple angles. Asking for it when needed, learning to forgive yourself, extending that offer to others, and then benefiting from receiving said forgiveness. All equals freedom in one form or the other. First, you have to be open and willing to accept responsibility for your own actions and be self-aware enough to realize what you are holding on to or refusing to ask for, could be making all the difference. 

I’m not one to hold a grudge. Primarily because I hate tension, literally loath confrontation. I also don’t like to be in a bad mood. I’m not a brooder, a worrywart, or a nervous Nelly. I love calm consistent joy with a sprinkling of anticipation and a dash of drive. That’s where I feel most comfortable. Because of that, I do what it takes to get over it…for the most part. 

Where I struggle most is with self-forgiveness. Most of us tend to hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do others so with that comes harsh judgment and an unwillingness to forget let alone forgive. What does that look like on a face? Maybe nothing if you are good at hiding your deepest feelings. This means a sunny disposition can be hiding a darker storm so just be aware. You can not judge a person by what you see. We all have had trials and tribulations throughout our lives which are far from over. You might be good at compartmentalizing but others may not. So our reactions and how we work through each incident of struggle and strife make the way for what lies ahead. 

Why is self-forgiveness so hard? Why are we so quick to let someone else off the hook; to swiftly lower their expectations but our own are kept to the highest standards with no second chances? I don’t know. Have you ever asked yourself that? Have you ever had an in-depth conversation through a personal deep dive on yourself? 

Dr. Stephen Marmer enlightens us with more about Forgiveness found at PragerU.com

Eight Keys to Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be incredibly difficult. Robert Enright explains where to start in his article for greatergood.com

The Mayo Clinic shares: Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

Kendra Cherry leads the way with Taking the Steps to Forgive Yourself in her article for verywellmind.com

 

CHALLENGE: let go of resentment and lower your defenses. Be willing to re-examine your role, forgive yourself for the part you played, offer the same to others, and receive the freedom to move forward. You hold the key!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Self-Love, Eliminating Perfect from your Expectations

Self-Love, Eliminating Perfect from your Expectations

March 15, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are challenging our thought process, removing perceived obstacles, and finding love from within as we eliminate perfection from our expectations. Is your self-love conditional? “When I achieve this or that I can revisit the love I have for myself but not before.” Are your conditions reasonable and achievable or will the love you have for yourself never be realized? Let’s be honest with ourselves today because denying yourself love from within is preventing you from sharing authentic love with others. Everything starts and ends with you. Might sound like a lot of responsibility but hear me out. The way you look at the world and your relationship with it is entirely personal. The ideas you chose to believe and identify with will shape how you operate in it. That’s why this journey of SELF-discovery is all about YOU. You are the self this journey is all about.

Self-love is the self-help buzzword of the decade. It’s painted, screen printed, embroidered, written about, posted, shared, and podcasted all over the planet. But what is it and how does one partake? How many self-help buzzwords or sayings trigger an immediate response with you:

  • Breathe
  • Keep calm
  • Carry on
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff
  • Choose kindness
  • Be mindful
  • Let Go

Most seem meaningful and are definitely a friendly reminder but if you don’t know what they mean and how they apply to you then they are just words. 

You don’t know what you don’t know. So if you’re curious, if you would like to feel more accepted and loved by yourself and then others, isn’t it worth the journey?

I was too busy worrying about everyone else to worry too much about my own personal development. Now on the surface that sounds gallant but it’s not. My worry was more about control and this misperception that I was more responsible for everyone than I actually was. Because of this warped way of thinking, I spent a lot of time investing my mental and physical energy on those who would have benefited way more from just figuring it all out on their own. 

Professionally I excelled but personally, I didn’t take the time to get to know myself and what I truly wanted or needed. You are made up of many glorious parts and endless personas and they all need your attention. This might sound like something else to add to your plate and you’re right. You need to carve out time for yourself - sooner rather than later. Giving to yourself will help you more effectively give to others. 

As we strive to create balance in our lives it’s important to explore and extinguish this idea of perfection. Understanding it and its hold over you will help the pace of your journey from the need to be first and fastest to taking the necessary time you need. 

Ana Sandiou gives us some insight into how: Cultivating feelings of self-love can sometimes be challenging. Found at medicalnewstoday.com

Maria Connolly prompts us with: Self-Discovery – The Most Enriching Journey You’ll Ever Take found at newayscenter.com 

At psychlive.com I found A Guide to Finding Yourself that I think will be helpful no matter where you are on your journey.

CHALLENGE: delight in your journey taking special care to celebrate the self-revelations along the way. Striving for perfection will prevent you from moving forward and enjoying the constant evolution and love that is unique to you. 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Saying No, Meaning It and Sticking to It

Saying No, Meaning It and Sticking to It

March 9, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are drawing a line in the sand, being kind but concise as we say NO with the purpose of meaning it and sticking to it. One small word.  Two little letters yet for some, the hardest word to say. The awkward silence after the delivery can be deafening and cause the weak at heart to cave and backslide. Just like a gymnast strives to stick the landing, one extra step means all the difference. To complicate things, N-O can be spoken in a variety of ways where tone and volume level can make or break the intent. Wow so much to think of before uttering this objection. No wonder we struggle with when and how to convey this simple sentiment, NO. N-O, no can do, nope, uh-uh, that’s a negative, of course not, negative. How uncomfortable are you just thinking about it? Have no fear, literally - no fear. We will explore this small but mighty word, get to the root of our resistance, and come up with some strategies to overcome.

No is a tough one for me. It used to be downright impossible without some sort of excuse or justification to follow. “No….but here’s why, blah blah blah” do you still like me? Did that make it easier? Do you feel ok with my answer? What an exhausting thought process. 

Listen, someone asks something of you knowing, right out of the gate, that they have a 50-50 shot. I mean really, how many of us buy “maybe”? So you can say yes or you can say no. They have a 50% chance of getting what they want. You may or may not have been their first attempt so odds are, they have a backup plan. Most things won’t live and breathe by your answer so relax. 

Where we fail is to consider our feelings, our time, and our capacity when giving our answer. In many cases, our only consideration is will they be disappointed if we say no. What about your disappointment meant? Does that sound selfish? If you think so, keep listening. This might be where we need some help overcoming this thought process. 

Sarah Cy shows us: How to Say NO Without Feeling Guilty, Mean, or Selfish

Finding the balance between self-care and helping others in her article found at medium.com

James Sadukow shares: The Science Behind Why Awkward Silence WorksHere's the science behind why awkward silence works, how much of it is really needed, and how to use it effectively. Found at inc.com

Iulian Ionescu helps us with: How To Say No: A Guide for Serial People Pleasers found on his blog

 

CHALLENGE: consider your own feelings, interests, and capacity when evaluating an ask. Be confident in your decision to deliver a no, in a kind and thoughtful way. No doesn’t mean never but for today, you’re saying no to make room for your own yes!

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Digging into what you Love

Digging into what you Love

March 1, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are pulling out the spade and readying the ground as we start digging into what we love. What are you passionate about? What creates that exciting anxious feeling and what puts a smile on your face? Now, how often do you dig in and lose yourself in what you love? For many of us, what we love is a mirage or eutopia. When we get everything else done and satisfy the needs of everyone else, we will set off in search of this wonderful place. But unfortunately, that day never comes and if we have been lucky enough to grab a glimpse, it’s been fleeting. Well today, let’s agree to table the rest or stick a pin in the to-dos while we explore creative ways to bring what we love to the top of the list.

If you’re like me, you spend the majority of your day getting ready for work, working, or unwinding for work. On the weekends you are desperately trying to do anything but work, which usually means, all the other work. The house, the children, the endless honey-do projects. Oh don’t get me wrong, I hear your world’s tiniest record player playing “You’re Breaking My Heart” and really, I’m not necessarily complaining. I actually love to work. Not in the way I love warm chocolate cookies, a good binge series, or a memorable 80’s ballad - but I do enjoy my work. 

What I’m saying is if I was put on the spot and asked “what I love and how often do I do what I love”, I might stumble and struggle for an eloquent answer. See, I’m always harping on finding a healthy balance because these topics are for me too. I continue to fight for a healthy balance. 

I’m getting better and like with anything, a consistent reminder and some new strategies are always helpful. So let’s figure some stuff out. First, what do you love? When is the last time you explored this idea and were honest with yourself? Odds are what you love and are passionate about has changed over the years. Which by the way, is normal. I mean if I told you trading Barbies is what I love you might look at me funny but back in the day, it was a popular pastime. 

Today looks quite a bit different for me. I’m empty nested by 5 years which as you know is game-changing. When ballgames, dances, homework, dinners, and extra-curricular were a focus you had plenty of places to invest your energy. Now, totally exposed and free to choose, you have to dig deep and go within to see where want to focus - for fun, something spiritually satisfying, or something you’ve never ever tried. 

Sounds like we have a path. Let’s also uncover the obstacles and address them for what they are. If they’ve held you back before then they will continue to do so if we don’t hit them head-on. Sound fair?

Your passion could be something completely separate from your “day job” or they could meld and become one and the same. So let’s start by helping you find it before we can decide what to do with it. 

Liam Donoghue helps us out with: How to Find Your Passion: 4 Tactics for Finding a Fulfilling Pursuit found at passion.io

Nikki Moberly teaches us: How to let go of control and free up some headspace found at betterup.com

KEY HIGHLIGHTS: Digging into what you Love

  1.  Passion is something within everyone and it is unique to each individual on the planet
  2. Your passion can be fluid and ever-changing
  3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But if you refuse to open your eyes to beauty (metaphorically I mean) you’ll never see it
  4. Thinking about the type of impact you want to have on the world is a good way to find your passion
  5. The world is your oyster, anything is possible, no debts, no doubt, no struggle. You’re free, what do you do?
  6. Your passion can be anything or anywhere and once we understand and accept that we can all start living passionate lives
  7. A shift needs to happen towards a mindset that focuses on self-efficacy rather than on controlling external factors
  8. Focus on our inner world of mindset, outlook, and emotional regulation
  9. Letting go of what you cannot control also opens the door to exciting or interesting possibilities that you have not even envisioned
  10.  Surrender = the complete acceptance of what is + faith that all is well, even without my input

 

CHALLENGE: today, make a commitment to explore your passion and dig into what you love. Shift your focus from worry and control to self-exploration and celebration. 

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Juggling it ALL, Finding Balance and Joy

Juggling it ALL, Finding Balance and Joy

February 23, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are pulling out the cascade, the fountain, and the shower as we strive to find balance and joy while juggling it ALL. Busy, busy, busy! Isn’t that a typical response when you ask anyone how they are? So so busy! Well, aren’t we all. Have you ever stopped to question why? Are you busier now than in times past? Could you be entering or exiting an uncommonly busy season of life? Whether you’re working with balls, clubs, or rings; knives, fire torches, or chainsaws in most instances, you’re setting the pace. You’re adding more to the centrifugal force and you’re offsetting the balance. Before you know it, you’re dangerously close to dropping it all or wish you could. Focus and keep your eye on the highest part of the object while we explore the idea of finding balance and joy from a few different angles.

Remember this motto: Don't worry if you keep dropping the ball, the secret of juggling is throwing, not catching.

See if this resonates with you. You finally have everything in your life organized and you feel on top of your daily schedule. Sweet! Now, what should you do with the extra time you were able to carve out? Oh yeah…take on something else! What a vicious cycle that we are solely responsible for. 

Some who know me say I’m the busiest person on the planet. Of course, this is a gross exaggeration and what they are really saying is, you are always into something. Which is true. I do like to be busy. I have a gazillion ideas that I would like to execute and I don’t normally spend much time laboring on the decision to start. I just start. 

But there are times I feel overwhelmed and instead of taking time to analyze that feeling, I just soldier on as if all of these extra projects are my duty. But now I want to carve out the time to really study that decision. What might I be missing by not acknowledging this feeling? 

Yesterday was a good day. We put aside our typical busy work and dedicated the whole day to connections. We had a lovely church service with our second family. I made a delicious lunch, if I do say so myself, and entertained my grown children, and then we went for a drive and stopped at Matt’s parents to round out the day. Just an impromptu visit with delightful conversation. We hadn’t planned to spend the entire day this way but instead of winding down earlier or getting into our projects, we chose to extend the day with an extra visit. As we pulled out of the driveway to finally head home, we each commented on how nice this day had been. Much needed balance. Now how to work that into common practice. 

Harvey Schachter clues us in with: How to juggle multiple tasks without burning out, found at the globeandmail.com

Feel like you’ve “lost your mind”? Dr. Tchiki Davis helps us with 7 Ways to Get Your Mind Back, found at psychologytoday.com

Over at becomingunbusy.com I found How To Start Over: 5 Steps To Reboot Your Life

Melissa Goldberg tells us: Exactly How to Find Joy Today—and Every Day, found at oprahdaily.com

 

CHALLENGE: Before you drop it all, consider prioritizing with a softer or a harder throw as you dive into what to remove, release, and reject. Finding balance and joy doesn’t mean becoming an expert at juggling it ALL. 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

All I Needed to Learn I Learned in Kindergarten

All I Needed to Learn I Learned in Kindergarten

February 15, 2022

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are sitting up tall, raising our hand, and resisting the urge to cut line as we come to the realization that, all I needed to learn, I learned in Kindergarten. Think about it, it was our foundation for out to treat other people. Unless you grew up with a gaggle of brothers and sisters, it was your first attempt at socialization. You and 23 other little screaming demons. Remember, naptime? Having had children of my own, getting a room full of 5-year-olds to all lay down and take a nap all at the same time is beyond my comprehension! Magic I tell you! So what have we been doing since we mastered the basics? We’ve been formulating strong opinions and judgments and then finding every chance we can get to share them. We’ve forgotten the basics and have started creating our own laws of human decency. Ones that fit and support our own narratives. Don’t you wish you could give some people a good old-fashioned time-out? Notice I didn’t say a trip to the woodshed but I know that’s what you were thinking.

I decided to explore this idea based on a popular book by Robert Fulghum; All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Published in 1990 with 7 million copies sold because I found myself shaking my head to outlandish stories of human behavior. The nerve, the Gaul, the perceived right? Whatever happened to common decency? Two teachers in one of my groups commonly refer to this book when we are left perplexed. So I decided to dig into basic manners that transcend every generation and stage of life as well as some that have evolved, thank goodness. I think it’s important to remember how far we’ve come but not to lose sight of the obvious, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 

I remember a time when asking someone their age, weight, or salary was a huge no-no. Casual conversation was warned to avoid topics like politics or religion. Personal details were to be offered at a minimum to spare you and the other person. And unless someone offered a window, you didn’t pry!

Today someone will ask you who you voted for and if you’re vaccinated without a second thought. Then if you decide to even answer, truthfully, you are either congratulated for being in alignment with their thinking or chastised, lectured, and/or bullied. Whoa! People, there is a reason you vote behind a black curtain, and your doctor’s office is not allowed to share any details, at all, period! Personal choice and personal privacy. Respect….I’m sure that’s on this list. So Let’s get started!

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

By Robert Fulghum

Dick, Jane And America Book Explores The Impact Of Reading Primers That Shaped Millions Of Lives by Carolyn Nizzi Warmbold found at spokesman.com

Caryn Antonini reminds us of: Bring Back Basic Manners, Please! By the Today Parenting Team

Áine Cain gives us 5 things that used to be basic manners — but people no longer do…found at the businessinsider.com 

Over at startsat60.com I found What happened to good manners?

Meredith Betz enlightens us with: What is self-awareness, and why is it important? Found at betterup.com

 

CHALLENGE: Please, take some time to revisit the basics to see what might have gotten left behind during your evolution. Look to see, take time to understand, put yourself in their shoes, and then act appropriately.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

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