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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Sep 12, 2023
Tuesday Sep 12, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show… we aim to tickle your ego, prod your self-importance, and maybe even burst that bubble of self-delusion just a little. Ego you say? What ego? Well, ego isn't just a one-size-fits-all deal; it's a complex, colorful, and downright funky part of what makes us human. We're gonna explore the ego's many faces, from the subtle whispers of self-doubt to the grandiose declarations of "I am the center of the universe!" Whether you need to put your ego in check or someone else’s, egos play a multifaceted and important role in our lives. While they can sometimes be associated with negative traits like arrogance or self-centeredness, ego is a fundamental aspect of human psychology.
Defined, ego is a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It’s the core of our self-identity. It helps us differentiate ourselves from others and develop a sense of who we are as individuals. It's the foundation upon which we build our self-concept, which includes our beliefs, values, and personal narratives. Wow, ego has some pretty big shoulders and shoes to fill. So what happens when it’s left unchecked and goes astray? Enter the need for humility. Humility is the absence of ego. A modest or low view of one's importance; humbleness.
So how can you strike a healthy balance? Self-awareness. Let’s dig in to better understand the differences and the scale to narrow the gap.
Over at pathwaytohappiness.com, I found a good introduction; About Ego
Alex Morris explains How your ego is affecting your mental health, found at ihasco.co
On Christy Evenepoel’s blog she explores Self-Love vs. Unhealthy EgoThomas Armstrong covers The Stages of Ego Development According to Jane Loevinger found at institute4learning.com
On the Holistic Psycologist’s YouTube channel, I found How To Do Ego Work by Dr. Nicole Lepera
CHALLENGE: Be open to self-reflection as you explore your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. A well-balanced ego is typically associated with a healthy sense of self-esteem, confidence, and resilience.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Monday Sep 04, 2023
Monday Sep 04, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are taking a colorful look at joy as we explore its meaning and presence, contemplating the idea, if joy were a color…When pure joy overflows and becomes so tangible you can reach out and touch, what color do you see? Maybe you’re still waiting for that type of joyful overabundance to show itself in your life and that’s okay. Want some good news? Joy resides inside of you and once you remove the barriers and unlock the resistance, it has room to activate in your life. Joy is defined as
a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. When did you feel a strong sense of pride, love, or gratitude? Were you beaming? Eyes sparkling? Body radiating positive energy? Don’t overlook these joyful moments thinking joy has to be a steady state to be real. These moments, when recognized and celebrated, will be motivation for more!
I had a friend use the term, “if joy were a color..” when describing a social encounter where a person was communicating a recent win. She overheard this conversation and witnessed the winner so full of joy that she radiated a tangible experience. What a beautiful thought. Days, weeks, months, or even years can get messy and distracting. Our focus can be easily be misdirected and we can feel like we’re barely getting by. Who has time for joy?
George Bernard Shaw said, “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
Let’s look at this idea from a few different angles…
Dr. Jamie D. Aten shares What Is Joy and What Does It Say About Us?
An interview with Dr. Pamela King on the meaning and depth of joy. Found at psychologytoday.com
Over at compassion.com I found some differences between joy and happiness.
CHALLENGE: Embrace joyful moments and notice the colors and unique feelings that lift your spirit. Don’t stop there. Remove any barriers and negative thoughts to release pure joy in your life.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Monday Aug 28, 2023
Monday Aug 28, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are humbly taking a step back, widening our purview to assess our support system as we question, can you really be self-made? The pure definition of self-made says: made such by one's own actions. especially: having achieved success or prominence through one's own efforts. But what about all the people who told you it was possible? The people who poured encouragement into your soul, helped you back up when things didn’t go as expected, and rallied behind all the many modifications and extra attempts? Not to take anything away from the choices you’ve made, in fact, let’s celebrate them and inspire you to take more chances and trust in your own abilities. But let’s not forget those who had your back, took your hand, challenged your ideas, and forced you to be better.
Have you heard…”I’m great at everything, except humility, which I’m AMAZING at.” Seriously though, humbly, I think about all the people who support all the crazy ideas I’ve had over the years. I was a wee entrepreneur, starting at age 8 with my very own yardsale. Sounds harmless except, as a latch-key kid, I’m pretty sure my Mother wouldn’t have appreciated me selling the contents of my room on the side of the road when she was at work. Oops. But it just snowballed from there. I never once remember my family laughing at me or telling me that whatever my small business flavor of the month was, I would fail.
Sure, my Mom still reminds me of the puzzle piece jewelry phase I peddled in my own pop-up store called “Exception to the Rule”, but she was always careful not to squelch my dreams.
Let’s walk around this idea to inspect all the angles. The first being, that you have the power to dream and to do! Ready for a Rocky-style intro?
Sheri Silk shares 4 KEYS TO OVERCOMING ENCOURAGEMENT DEFICIT found at lovingonpurpose.com
J.D. MEIER offers 15 Ways to Motivate Yourself and Others found at time.com
CHALLENGE: pat yourself on the back as you look to thank those in your support system who encouraged you, lifted you up, and championed your way to becoming self-made.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Monday Aug 21, 2023
Monday Aug 21, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are putting aside self-doubt, silencing our internal nay-sayers, and leaning into the truth as we start believing in our own worth. Don’t you wish you could see yourself as your best friend sees you, like your Mom sees you, or your favorite aunt? Why do you let their praises fall on deaf ears, choosing to shut out the good and easily accept the negative self-talk that rattles around in your head even when nothing is wrong? Don’t you wish you could be your own champion? Worth is defined as the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated. Are you selling yourself short?
I titled this show Believing in Your Worth because the key here is to believe. We are all valuable. You are valuable! But do you believe it? Do you believe it when you hear it from others or when you force yourself to spit out a mantra like “you are enough”? We all know positive self-talk is important and a way to lift our spirits and increase or sense of well-being but it isn’t so easy to believe.
Even so, we aren’t accepting this and moving on to another subject. Let’s dive in, audit our current sense of value, and find strategies to increase our worth.
CHALLENGE: quiet self-talk that doesn’t lift, encourage, inspire, or motivate. Practice self-forgiveness by forgiving others first. Believe that your worth is highly valued.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Aug 15, 2023
Tuesday Aug 15, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are taking time to sift and separate our thoughts and memories to understand, why the bad stuff is easier to remember. You could be having a stellar day, everything is going right, one to write down and remember forever and then you hit a snag. A challenge that might take a little effort and derails you for a moment but the shift is immediate. This day stinks! You’ll never guess what happened to me today! The negative event becomes the marque of our day and the traumatic event becomes the marque of our memories. We revisit it often, protect it fiercely, and even reform it, chiseling away some of the details until it becomes our identity. But what happened to all the good? Where are the mental videos of all the celebrations, high-fives, and proud moments? It’s time to remove the topsoil of shame and let the light shine on all our accomplishments.
Who loves a good breakup song or a sappy tear-jerker film? Have you ever heard the phrase, I need a good cry? Sadness can be comforting and in times of need, we look for validation in songs, books, tv shows, and the people who bring the tissue to the pity parties we constantly through. Just as there is a time and a place for everything, healing is now. If you are stuck behind the warm blank of regret and can’t figure out how to move forward, stay tuned. It’s time we make room for a healthy balance of misery and merrymaking.
Let’s dive into the “why”...why do negative or traumatic events steal our joyful memories?
Michelle Pereira asks and answers, Why Do Bad Memories Last Longer? Found at scienceabc.com
CHALLENGE: seek out joyful memories to overshadow the tough ones. Be willing to part ways with rumination as you invite in more gratitude and gentle life lessons.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Aug 08, 2023
Tuesday Aug 08, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re sorting the seeds of content we allow into the garden beds of our minds understanding that what you consume, blooms. We’ve all heard that you are what you eat but in turn, you are what you speak. How many original thoughts have you had this week? No judgment here in fact we’re all suffering from regurgitating what we hear and what we read, adopting it as our own thoughts and opinions. It turns out that most of our thoughts may not actually be original to us. This phenomenon is known as cryptomnesia, and it occurs when our brains mistakenly convince us that an idea or thought is our own creation when in reality, we have encountered it before and forgotten about it. With that in mind, what type of content are you consuming and how is that altering your mindset and overall health and well-being?
It might be time to turn the soil over, pull out the toxic bi-particles, and add some organic matter. You are in charge of what takes root, what your produce, and what you harvest. But, it doesn’t always feel like that. Sometimes it feels like we’re on a little life raft in a sea of unwanted content full of strong opinions, hostile points of view, emotional guilt trips, and a relentless call to action. No wonder more and more are choosing to just check out versus trying to monitor the constant stream of chaos.
There has to be a happy medium.
Over at orangenebula.com I found How Mindful Content Consumption Feeds the Brain
On The Minimalists’ Youtube channel I found How do I consume media more intentionally?
CHALLENGE: fill your mind with content that adds value to your life, nourishes your soul, and pushes the limits of your thinking so that you can grow in a more positive direction. Seek light for ultimate growth.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Aug 01, 2023
Tuesday Aug 01, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re staying engaged and committed to paying attention as we work to capture the conversation with active listening. The need to be heard is one of the most powerful motive forces in human nature. But who’s really listening….do you need me to repeat it? I said, who is listening? The world is full of distractions. A distraction that we create, technology in the hand, in front of our face, on our wrist, and in the background all while we are trying to navigate a busy life. The distraction that assaults us from every angle, marketers, popping ads, automatic video starts, commercials, deals, special offers…UGH, it’s all too much! How can you cut through the noise and focus on one person and one conversation?
I always thought I was a good listener. You know a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, and brainstorm with. But I wasn’t aware of the difference between listening and active listening until I became a coach. In sales, it helps to listen but you find yourself weeding through the information looking for pain points and buying signals so that you can capitalize on them. In a general conversation, you’re listening long enough to find commonality so that you can respond with something in the same context. A volley of sorts. Your friend says “This weekend we’re going to a concert…” Your brain hears WEEKEND and you start thinking about what you’re doing that weekend or CONCERT and which concerts you’ve seen and which ones you want to see so that when it’s your turn, you can return the volley with an interesting and relatable story. But just think, what did you miss while you were formulating your response?
At mindtools.com I found an introduction to Active Listening
and how to Hear What People are Really Saying
Adam Hayes explored the The Human Attention Span found on wyzowl.com
Johann Hari explains how Your attention didn’t collapse. It was stolen
Over at Simon Sinek’s youtube channel I found a different perspective: The Art of Listening
CHALLENGE: don’t just turn on your listening ears but really commit to dialing into a conversation as you seek to understand. Everyone wants a chance to be heard so receive before you give.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are taking in a big breath, releasing it slowly, and giving ourselves a much-needed time-out as we learn how to qualify and quantify our stress. Feeling frazzled? Perfectly normal if it’s from time to time. Buried and unsure how to rise above, we should take some time to unpack that a bit. See, not all stress should be created equal and even though the sky may feel like it’s falling, it’s not. Look up and while you’re at it, count to 10. We need to create some space between action and reaction so we can regain control over our thinking.
I have to say that I deal with stress and stressors pretty well. I wouldn’t say I’m as cool as a cucumber but I might say I’m hard to rattle. I developed this mindset at a much earlier age, I can only do what I can do. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a hard worker and am guilty of taking on too much most of the time but that kind of stress I like. But even I have a wall. That feeling of pressure when you have too many balls in the air and not enough hands to keep them up. Are we a glutton for punishment? Taking on more and more and more until like a house of cards, it all comes crashing down.
Good news, just as my stress is usually self-inflicted, you have some choices here. Let’s first strive to understand what stress is…
At the National Institute of Mental Heath, I found some answers about Is it stress or anxiety?
CHALLENGE: Before you succumb to the pressure and find yourself frazzled, take some time and make some space to understand what’s really going on, what you can control, and what you must detach from.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are going to “worry about ourselves” as we seek to understand the different characteristics of codependency. Please don’t immediately identify with or reject this behavior before we dive in and dig deeper. This is not a one-size fits all terminology nor is it a terminal practice. Instead, it’s a deeply rooted compulsive behavior that more than 90 percent of Americans display during their lifetimes. Are they all codependent? No. But could they benefit from becoming aware of these patterns and characteristics in an attempt to redirect their journey in a more positive direction? YES!
I remember the first time I heard the term codependent or rather, heard and rejected the term. Being fiercely independent, at least with some aspects of my life, all I could hear was the word “dependent” and I thought, “That couldn’t be me!” So like a Rumba, I hit wall after wall, trying to redirect my course only to hit another wall. It wasn’t until the second therapist suggested I read Melody Beattie’s book, Codependent No More, that I gave in. I do believe timing is everything and if I had read those words earlier, before I was ready to identify my own role, then they wouldn’t have landed quite the same way. But from the first chapter, I knew she was talking to me. It was like looking in a mirror, as hard as the reflection was to see. There she and her screwed-up thinking were, looking back at me saying, “Finally, now let’s get our act together!”.
Here are the official Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence found at coda.org
On the anchortherapy.org blog I found 7 WAYS TO LET GO OF CONTROL ISSUES
CHALLENGE: take care of your most important relationship, YOU. Detach with love and look inward. Identify what you want and how you feel. To give to others, you have to first, give to yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re doing a mental and verbal inventory check and audit, to become more aware of what we’re passing down and what we’re passing around. Where do our ideas and opinions come from? How are our biases formed? Are we as open and accepting to traits and traditions as receiving and regifting Grandma’s china or have we installed solid filtering systems, protecting our minds and hearts from the legacy transfer of limiting and negative beliefs? Not sure? Then you’re in the right place listening to some ideas that might help you question, understand, reframe, and rethink ideas and opinions that no longer serve you.
Have you ever played hot potato? If you haven't, let me explain. You must pretend you have a steaming hot potato in your hands and pass it around, making sure to let go of it as quickly as possible so you don’t get burnt. That means you have the hot potato only seconds before you pass it on.
Sounds kind of familiar, huh? When you encounter an idea, opinion, piece of news, or gossip (which are sometimes one and the same), how long do you sit with that information before passing it down or around? Do you take the time to question, wonder, research, or think? Or, are you so quick to inform that you pass it without a discerning thought?
Now, remember the telephone game? That is where a person whispers a word or phrase into the ear of the person next to them without any repeats and then that person, whispers what they heard to the next person, and so on and so on. The gag is when the last person repeats what they heard out loud to the group. They rarely have it correct or even close. Imagine how that idea could be impacting what we pass down and around.
Let’s start with what’s been passed down to you…
At The Center for Parenting Education, Audrey Krisbergh shares THE POWER OF FAMILY LEGACIES
CHALLENGE: be aware of what you think and say, where it came from, what you’re passing down, and what you’re passing around. Seek to understand, push back and test ideas and opinions that no longer serve you. You have the power to change your thinking.
I Know YOU Can Do It!