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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Jul 30, 2024
Tuesday Jul 30, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re getting some relief as we navigate the fine line between pressure and stress. Mind overwhelmed, heart in a vice, trying to catch your breath as you process all you have to learn, understand, do, and deliver? Looking for something or anything to give you a temporary reprieve? Hold up, you don’t have to live this way. Instead of checking out or numbing up, let’s try to power through looking for a clear understanding of what’s going on and adopting positive alternatives to chart a more productive path. Figuring out the difference between pressure and stress can help you turn challenges into motivation instead of feeling overwhelmed. Once you get it, you’ll handle tough situations like a pro while keeping your cool!
"The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances." - Andrew Bernstein
At Mind Tools I found some effective tips for Coping Under Pressure
Over at Ted-ed’s YouTube channel, I found How Stress Affects Your Body
Stress can really impact those around you, especially kids. Here’s how:
Emotional Contagion: Kids are super perceptive and can easily pick up on your emotions. If you’re stressed, they’ll likely feel anxious or worried too.
Behavioral Influence: When you’re stressed, you might be more irritable or less patient. This can affect how you interact with kids, leading to strained relationships and a negative vibe.
Role Modeling: Kids look up to adults as examples. If they see you handling stress poorly, they might pick up those same habits. On the flip side, showing healthy ways to manage stress can teach them good coping skills.
Communication Breakdown: Stress can make it harder to communicate well. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, leaving kids feeling unsupported.
Creating a Tense Environment: Being constantly stressed can make the atmosphere tense and uneasy. Kids do best in a calm and supportive environment, and too much stress can get in the way of their emotional growth.
Impact on Learning and Development: Your stress can affect a child’s ability to concentrate and learn. A stressful environment can disrupt their routine and make it harder for them to feel secure and focused.
So, managing your stress not only helps you but also creates a better, more supportive environment for kids to thrive in.
CHALLENGE: Navigating the fine line between pressure and stress empowers you to turn challenges into opportunities for growth while maintaining your well-being. Embrace effective strategies and a positive mindset to stay motivated and resilient in the face of life’s demands.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 23, 2024
Tuesday Jul 23, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are unlocking the basics as we explore simple life skills everyone needs but often overlooks. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s no surprise that many people struggle with basic life skills. Between the rise of technology and the hustle of modern life, skills like cooking, budgeting, and effective communication often fall by the wayside. But fear not! By taking small, intentional steps, we can all brush up on these essential skills. Think of it as a fun, ongoing learning adventure—whether it’s whipping up a new recipe, setting up a simple budget, or mastering the art of active listening. Let’s embrace the journey together and support each other in becoming more well-rounded and capable individuals!
So let’s address some simple life skills that shouldn’t be overlooked. Here are just a few we will explore:
Time Management:
- Prioritizing tasks and setting realistic deadlines.
- Avoiding procrastination and effectively scheduling their time.
Effective Communication:
- Listening actively and empathetically.
- Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and assertively without being aggressive.
Emotional Regulation:
- Managing stress and anxiety in healthy ways.
- Recognizing and processing emotions effectively.
Problem-Solving:
- Identifying problems and breaking them down into manageable parts.
- Generating and evaluating potential solutions.
Relationship Building:
- Developing and maintaining healthy relationships.
- Understanding the importance of boundaries and mutual respect.
Critical Thinking:
- Evaluating information critically and making informed decisions.
- Recognizing biases and logical fallacies.
Negotiation Skills:
- Negotiating effectively in personal and professional settings.
- Understanding the importance of compromise and finding win-win solutions.
Organizational Skills:
- Keeping personal and professional spaces organized.
- Developing systems for managing information and tasks efficiently.
Adaptability:
- Adjusting to new situations and changes with flexibility.
- Embracing change as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat.
Bruce Tulgan shows us How to Begin Boosting Your Soft Skills found at Psychology Today
CHALLENGE: Unlocking basic life skills can elevate your daily journey and amplify your confidence. Begin today by embracing small, practical steps to master these essentials, and witness how they empower you to thrive and shine in any situation.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 16, 2024
Tuesday Jul 16, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are looking for a little harmony in our hustle as we master work, life, and personal growth. Ever feel like you’re juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle? Why do some people appear to be killing it on the highwire of life while the rest of us feel like a low-budget sideshow act? Guess what? You would probably be shocked to learn that some see you as the put-together and confident ringmaster running it all with precision. Before you scoff, remember, that life isn’t as it always appears.
But hey, we’re all in this circus together! It’s all about finding that sweet spot where you’re crushing your goals without losing yourself in the chaos. According to Hubstaff.com, 48% of workers call themselves “workaholics”, 66% skip one meal per day due to working hours, and 60% of US workers say they don't have boundaries between work responsibilities and life. Ouch. Let’s flip the script on burnout and turn this balancing act into a dance.
On Clark Kegley’s YouTube channel, I found 5 small HABITS that will change YOUR life forever
Recognizing when your life is out of harmony between work and personal growth can help you get back on track. Here are some warning signs to watch out for:
- Constant Fatigue: Feeling perpetually exhausted, even after a full night’s sleep, is a red flag that your balance might be off.
- Increased Irritability: If you’re snapping at people or feeling unusually frustrated, it could be a sign that stress is taking over.
- Lack of Enthusiasm: Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy or feeling indifferent about work and personal projects can indicate burnout.
- Neglected Self-Care: Skipping meals, neglecting exercise, or ignoring mental health can be signs that you’re too consumed by work.
- Declining Performance: Struggling to meet deadlines, making more mistakes, or experiencing a drop in productivity can signal that your balance is disrupted.
- Strained Relationships: If friends and family are noticing your absence or you’re feeling disconnected from your loved ones, it’s a strong indicator that work is overshadowing your personal life.
- Feeling Overwhelmed: A constant sense of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with your responsibilities is a clear sign of imbalance.
CHALLENGE: Achieving harmony between life, work, and personal growth is your key to unlocking a life of joy and fulfillment. Embrace self-care, set clear priorities, and watch as you thrive both professionally and personally, creating a balanced and inspired life where anything is possible.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Wednesday Jul 10, 2024
Wednesday Jul 10, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are seeking mind and body harmony as we shift our perspective on exercise from vanity to vitality. We've got it all twisted when it comes to exercise because we've been bombarded with images of ripped bodies and weight loss miracles, making us think that's the ultimate goal. But here's the truth: exercise is about feeling good, living longer, and staying vibrant, not just looking good. If you’re part of the norm then you’ve wasted an inconceivable amount of time pining over the ideal body image that is simply unachievable. Not even for the person in the touched-up picture. Why do we wait until our 40’s, 50’s, or 60’s to start taking our health seriously? Probably because that’s when we start feeling the effects of not taking it seriously before. Let's shift our focus to health and vitality, and watch how it transforms our lives from the inside out!
I will raise my hand first and admit, that my thinking on health and wellness is freakishly flawed. I view myself as curious, an independent thinker, and decently smart so how can I be so off here? Until I dive in to uncover the real reason, I can only point to conditioning. Generational body image issues have deceived me into thinking that nothing tastes better than thin feels and unless you have ripped abs, you’re not done yet. UGH Can you imagine the negative, body shaming loop we let play on repeat in our heads? How do we stop it? Achieve our unrealistic goals or cave to our desires. Nope, that’s your black-and-white thinking taking over and giving you two impossible choices. TIME-OUT! Want to uncover a better way of thinking?
Me too! Stay with me as we walk through some unfamiliar but important concepts.
At now.org I found some alarming statistics on body image
Creating mind and body harmony involves a holistic approach that integrates physical activity, mental well-being, nutrition, and mindfulness practices. Here are some steps to achieve this balance:
- Regular Physical Activity
Exercise for Health: Focus on exercises that promote overall well-being rather than just aesthetics. Incorporate a mix of cardiovascular, strength, flexibility, and balance exercises.
Consistency: Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity each week, along with muscle-strengthening activities on two or more days a week.
- Mindfulness and Mental Health
Meditation and Yoga: Practices like meditation, yoga, and tai chi can help reduce stress, improve concentration, and enhance mental clarity.
Mental Breaks: Incorporate short breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge your mind.
- Nutrition and Hydration
Balanced Diet: Eat a variety of foods rich in essential nutrients, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
Hydration: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to maintain optimal body functions.
- Sleep and Recovery
Quality Sleep: Ensure you get 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Good sleep is essential for both physical recovery and mental health.
Rest Days: Allow your body time to recover between intense workout sessions.
- Mental and Emotional Well-Being
Positive Relationships: Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
Therapeutic Practices: Seek professional help when needed. Therapy and counseling can provide tools to manage stress and emotional challenges.
- Goal Setting and Personal Growth
Set Realistic Goals: Establish attainable health and fitness goals that focus on personal growth rather than comparison with others.
Continuous Learning: Engage in activities that stimulate your mind, such as reading, learning new skills, or taking up a hobby.
- Positive Mindset
Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and avoid negative self-talk. Recognize and celebrate your progress and achievements.
Gratitude Practice: Incorporate gratitude practices into your daily routine to foster a positive outlook on life.
Holistic Approach: Combine these practices into your daily routine in a way that feels natural and sustainable. Balance is key, and it’s important to find what works best for you.
By integrating these elements, you can create a harmonious connection between your mind and body, fostering long-term health and well-being.
CHALLENGE: Achieving mind and body harmony is all about embracing activities that make you feel energized and healthy, rather than just focusing on looks. Start today by setting goals that prioritize your overall well-being and celebrate every step you take towards a healthier, happier you!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 02, 2024
Tuesday Jul 02, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re asking ourselves the question, is it really that bad? As we strive to gain a historical perspective on some of today’s challenges. It’s easy to jump on the negative train and pump up the steam engine with your own parroted two cents. But before you know it, the train and the topic have jumped tracks and you aren’t even sure where you’re going or what you’re talking about. Before you join in the chant of “it’s never been this bad”, take a deep dive into history to gain some insight and an alternative perspective. Looking back at history isn’t just about old stories—it’s about learning how we’ve tackled challenges before, seeing what worked, and using that wisdom to navigate today’s ups and downs smarter. It’s like having a treasure map of experiences that can guide us toward better decisions and brighter futures. So, let’s dig in, learn from the past, and build a tomorrow we can be proud of together!
I’ve said it before, I love reading historical fiction. Biographical fiction too but historical fiction gives you new characters living during historical events. I find myself saying…” Whoa, we’ve come a long way baby!” But I think that is so important because if you just read the news or talk around the water cooler, your outlook might be far different. Instead of adopting this narrative, push back and ask - Is this really the worst time in history for _____? Maybe you aren’t sure. Do the research. Dig into the details. Come to the conclusion yourself.
It’s true, not all history is positive but it is relevant. Human beings have made mistakes throughout human history. We’ve failed, learned, grown, and evolved. The only way to make sure we don’t repeat past mistakes is to learn from them. The only way to learn is to research. Take an active part in your narrative by doing the work.
Louis CK on Collin O'Brien 12 years ago, posted on Youtube - Everything is amazing & Nobody is happy
History is crucial for putting today’s challenges into perspective for several reasons:
Understanding Patterns and Cycles: History shows that many challenges are cyclical. Economic recessions, social unrest, and political upheaval have occurred repeatedly throughout history. Recognizing these patterns helps us understand that current challenges are not unique and can provide insights into potential solutions.
Learning from the Past: By studying how previous generations addressed their problems, we can identify strategies that worked and those that didn’t. This can help inform current decision-making and policy development.
Gaining Context: Historical context helps us see the broader picture. For example, technological advancements, medical breakthroughs, and social progress often emerge from periods of significant challenge. Understanding this can help us appreciate the potential for positive outcomes from today’s struggles.
Building Resilience: Knowing that humanity has faced and overcome significant challenges in the past can be reassuring. It fosters a sense of resilience and optimism that we can navigate current difficulties.
Avoiding Repetition of Mistakes: History provides valuable lessons on the consequences of certain actions and decisions. By studying these, we can avoid repeating past mistakes and work towards more effective solutions.
Appreciating Progress: Comparing the present to the past highlights the progress we’ve made. Advances in technology, healthcare, human rights, and living standards become more apparent, providing a balanced view that acknowledges both current challenges and achievements.
Inspiring Innovation: Historical examples of innovation and problem-solving can inspire new approaches and creative solutions to today’s challenges.
Fostering Empathy and Understanding: Learning about the struggles and triumphs of people from different times and places helps build empathy and a broader understanding of the human experience.
By placing today’s challenges within a historical framework, we gain a more nuanced and comprehensive understanding of our current situation and can approach problems with a more informed and balanced perspective.
CHALLENGE: Let’s rewrite the narrative: While today’s challenges seem daunting, history reveals that every era has faced its trials and triumphs. By embracing our past, we gain perspective on our progress and the resilience needed to shape a brighter future together.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 25, 2024
Tuesday Jun 25, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are freshening our viewpoint as we work to transform problems into possibilities. Problems are like puzzles, tricky but solvable. They’re the hurdles that make life interesting! Possibilities, on the other hand, are the exciting paths that open up when we tackle these puzzles head-on. This show is about providing positive alternatives to some of life’s little challenges. Why stay stuck if you can take an alternate path? As I’ve said before, it’s all about perspective. Is the glass half-full or have you already enjoyed half of the concoction? Viewing a situation through the lens of possibilities can lead to a more positive and proactive approach to overcoming challenges and achieving success. So, let’s flip our thinking and turn problems into fun challenges. Who knows what awesome opportunities might be waiting on the other side?
I have a t-shirt that says “365 Possibilities”. I know, I know too early right? But why not approach each day by saying “What do you have in store for ME” vs “WHAT do you have in store for me”. Your internal inflection can completely alter the intent. I had an employer who gave me some seeds of wisdom early on, “Each day starts and ends with you.” That means you are in control. Doesn’t that statement in itself give you some motivational fuel?
It’s easy to fall into the rut of being led around by circumstance and operating on autopilot but wake up and take back the controls. Whether you fly high or swoop in for a loop and a better look, you’re in the pilot seat.
With navigation on your mind, let’s chart a course that has you identifying and taking advantage of all the possibilities along the way.
On the last show, I mentioned The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. The book combines Zander's experience as the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra with Stone Zander's knowledge of psychology to offer practical tools and inspiring stories to help readers shift their perspective from scarcity to abundance. The book's 12 practices are designed to help you see new possibilities and bring them to life.
We’re going to explore these concepts and more!
At Vishnu’s Virtues, I found a breakdown of the 12 Lessons from The Art of Possibility
On LinkedIn, Hacking HR gives us 6 Ways to Lead (When You Are Not In Charge!)
Opening your mind to get a fresh viewpoint can be an invigorating process that leads to new ideas and personal growth. Here are some ways to do that:
Travel: Visiting new places exposes you to different cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives.
Read Widely: Books, articles, and blogs on various topics can introduce you to new ideas and ways of thinking.
Talk to Diverse People: Engaging with people from different backgrounds and experiences can broaden your understanding.
Practice Mindfulness: Meditation and mindfulness can help you see things more clearly and reduce mental clutter. Check out the Serenity App from Pau Bauer which helps you re-discover the "beacon of light" and stillness within you.
Try New Hobbies: Learning something new, whether it’s a language, instrument, or sport, can give you a fresh perspective.
Challenge Your Beliefs: Question your assumptions and try to see things from different angles.
Seek Feedback: Ask others for their opinions and be open to constructive criticism.
Attend Workshops and Seminars: These can provide new insights and skills.
Journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you process and see things in a new light.
Limit Media Consumption: Sometimes, taking a break from the news and social media can help clear your mind.
Practice Gratitude: Focusing on what you’re thankful for can shift your mindset to a more positive and open one.
Get Out in Nature: Spending time outdoors can refresh your mind and inspire new thoughts.
Volunteer: Helping others can give you a different perspective on your own life.
Learn from Failures: Reflecting on past mistakes can provide valuable lessons and new viewpoints.
Stay Curious: Always be willing to ask questions and seek out new information.
By trying out these approaches, you can gradually open your mind and gain a broader, more nuanced understanding of the world around you.
CHALLENGE: See beyond the obstacles and embrace the endless opportunities life presents. By opening your mind and exploring new perspectives, you can transform challenges into gateways for growth. Take action today by engaging with diverse experiences and people, and watch your world expand in unexpected and wonderful ways.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 18, 2024
Tuesday Jun 18, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are reducing stress by lightening up, not taking ourselves too seriously, and finding ways to laugh at life. Alarmed by your frown lines these days? Needing more reminders to relax your shoulders and breathe? Long for the days when your parents sent you to your room or the corner for a much-needed time-out. Life can be intense and our day-to-day schedules don’t seem to allow the room to relax and “laugh it off”. But laughter is like a magic potion for stress—just a good giggle can melt away tension and make you feel lighter. It’s your body’s way of giving you a happy boost, flooding you with feel-good vibes and boosting your immune system like a champ.
Whether you find something naturally funny or you’re intentionally inducing a cackle or two, much is to be learned about the power of incorporating humor and laughter into your daily life and how this can lead to significant improvements in your physical, emotional, and social well-being, making it an essential tool for coping with stress and enhancing your quality of life.
Plus, sharing a laugh brings people closer, turning ordinary moments into joyous memories. So go ahead, laugh a little louder and a little more often—your mind and body will thank you!
Let’s start it out by attempting to answer the obvious question…what makes something funny?
Jinae West explores this on NPR’s All Things Considered. What Makes Something Funny?
Ever heard of LeAnne Morgan from Tennessee? Well, let me introduce you.
CHALLENGE: Embrace the power of laughter to reduce stress and boost your mood—let it be your daily dose of joy. Strengthen your connections by sharing laughs with others, creating happier and more resilient relationships. Make it a habit to find humor in life’s moments and watch as your overall well-being soars!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 11, 2024
Tuesday Jun 11, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are tracing the healing journey of love, from connecting and loving deeply to embracing heartache and every stop in between. Building connections, even when you're worried about getting hurt, is vital because these bonds are the lifeblood of our emotional well-being. Yes, opening up can feel risky, but the rewards of genuine connection far outweigh the fear of heartache. It's through these connections that we find support, joy, and a sense of belonging. Love hurts but first, it heals. The capacity to love deeply is considered a natural, species-specific tendency. Loss is an integral part of growth, whether we're evolving our minds from one stage to the next or facing the final chapter of our physical life. Embracing loss allows us to learn, adapt, and gain deeper insights into ourselves and the world around us. It's through these challenging moments that we truly grow and find new strength.
Remember, every meaningful relationship starts with a bit of vulnerability. So, take that leap—embrace the possibility of connection, knowing that the love and support you gain will help heal any past wounds and enrich your life in beautiful, unexpected ways.
Change is never easy because with change comes loss. I could spin this in a self-help way, which you know I will, but first, let’s be honest. Letting go of people, opportunities, ideas, dreams, and expectations is never easy. When you make that shift and turn the corner you have to be ready to embrace change or you stay stuck.
If you are letting go of a relationship you embrace the idea of staying single or putting yourself out there again. If you lose a job you’re faced with how to rectify what happened and where you go now. If you lose a loved one you are met with navigating grief while creating a new normal.
Instead of getting bogged down in endless details, start by simplifying your choices into two clear paths. This approach helps you make quicker decisions and maintain momentum. It's not about rigid thinking, but rather about giving yourself a solid starting point to move forward more efficiently.
At Ellie Mental Health I found How To Cope With Loneliness and Rejection in Relationships
Love’s Tender Evolution
We all know the journey of love's tender evolution,
From young and free, hearts open in boundless revolution.
We fall hard, then rise slowly, with wounds to bear,
Calloused, we build walls, breeding suspicion and despair.
We open up cautiously, our pace becomes slow,
Our minds awaken to heartache's burdens we now know.
We think our hearts are weak, so our minds grow strong,
But often they become jaded, overprotective, or wrong.
Distrusting both heart and mind, we retreat to our shell,
Building barricades, interrogating all who dare to dwell.
Loneliness ensues, yet we tiptoe back into the light,
Hoping for heart, mind, and soul to finally align right.
Praying for someone who'll respect and protect all three,
Swiftly, before the cycle starts again, we yearn to be free.
In this dance of love's evolution, we seek to find,
A partner who'll cherish the heart, soul, and mind.
CHALLENGE: Embrace the evolution of love by staying open to connection and growth, despite past heartaches. By trusting both your heart and mind, you pave the way for making connections with those who will cherish and protect your whole being.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 04, 2024
Tuesday Jun 04, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are exploring the concept of mindset evolution as we ready ourslves to embrace continuous change. A shift in perspective and a commitment to positive thinking is not a one-and-done exercise but a progressive journey fraught with ups and downs. Oh to warn the former self about the perils that lie ahead. But what’s the fun in that? It is important to, formulate hypotheses, test theories, fall flat on your face, and get back up again. I pray that the scars are minimal as we figure out life at every turn. But if you stay stuck, you risk the inevitable pitfalls.
Neglecting to evolve your mindset can hold you back from reaching your true potential because embracing change is key to unlocking new opportunities and personal growth. By staying open and adaptable, you prepare yourself to thrive in the face of new challenges and seize exciting possibilities. Harnessing a flexible mindset also enriches your relationships, fostering deeper connections and understanding with those around you. By embracing the journey of continual growth and transformation, you'll find resilience and fulfillment in every step forward.
Easy for me to say, huh? Yeah yeah, I took my share of bumps and bruises to get to this level of thinking. What level is that you may ask? The one where you admit you don’t have everything figured out and likely, never will. BUT, you are willing and open to forging forward, grasping at new ideas and strategies to propel your evolution.
Enrique Rubio maps out The Evolving Mindset found on LinkedIn
Our past is a rich tapestry that has shaped us into who we are today, offering lessons and insights that guide our path forward. It's important to honor all aspects of our past, both the joyful moments and the challenges, as they have contributed to our growth and resilience. To truly learn from our past, we must be willing to do the work - researching, exploring, and challenging our understanding. Seeking support from a mentor, an accountability partner, or a professional can provide valuable guidance and encouragement on this journey of self-discovery.
In the present moment, time is our most precious gift. Embracing the now means seizing the opportunities that are right in front of us. Instead of dwelling on past regrets or anxiously anticipating the future, focus on what you can do today to create a meaningful and fulfilling life. Use this time to nurture your passions, cultivate relationships, and pursue personal growth.
As we look towards the future, we are filled with excitement and possibility. Embracing a mindset of continuous evolution allows us to envision not just where we could be, but who we could become. Each day is an opportunity to take steps towards our dreams and goals, building on the foundation of our past experiences. Let go of fear and doubt, and step boldly into the future with confidence and optimism.
Remember, growth is a lifelong journey, and it's okay to seek help along the way. Connecting with others who support your growth can provide valuable perspective and encouragement. Surround yourself with people who believe in your potential and are committed to helping you succeed. Together, we can embrace the past, live fully in the present, and create a future filled with endless possibilities.
CHALLENGE: Embrace the exciting journey of personal growth by letting go of outdated ideas and welcoming new perspectives with open arms. Take proactive steps to expand your mind, cultivate curiosity, and surround yourself with a community that encourages constant evolution.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday May 28, 2024
Tuesday May 28, 2024
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are unmasking the truth, is it love or is it control; manipulation, or codependency? It is so easy to get them twisted because even if you feel with all your heart that it’s coming from a place of love, it can still be manipulating. Thoroughly confused? Well, try operating in that conundrum without the knowledge or the tools to see it for what it truly is. You might identify with being a helper, a fixer, always picking up the pieces, wanting everyone to feel comfortable, and trying to orchestrate the best outcome for all involved and you probably suffer from control issues.
So let’s be intentional as we dive into this intricate dance between care and control. Before we start let’s make a commitment to be kind to ourselves in the process because our intentions stem from love and a desire to help, but sometimes, this can lead us down the path of overstepping boundaries and manipulation. It's a challenging journey to navigate, but understanding the fine line between genuine support and unhealthy codependency is crucial for fostering truly healthy relationships.
As you know, I’m a codependent in recovery. I came to this realization later in life and have done a lot of work to understand, identify, and redirect this behavior yet still…I’m uncovering ways my manipulation can rear its ugly and intrusive head.
So, let's explore this together and uncover how we can nurture our connections with authenticity, respect, and true care.
At Helpguide.org, Sheldon Reid gives a breakdown of Codependency: Signs, Causes, and Help
On LinkedIn John Rampton shares The Art of Surrendering: Learning How to Let Go of Control
The difference between love and control in the context of codependency lies in the intent, dynamics, and outcomes of the relationship:
- Intent:
- Love: Genuine love is based on mutual respect, support, and the well-being of both individuals. It involves caring for someone without trying to change or control them.
- Control: In codependent relationships, control often masquerades as care. The intent behind control is usually to manage or manipulate the other person's behavior to fulfill one's own emotional needs or to maintain a sense of order and security.
- Love: Healthy love promotes independence and personal growth. Each person in the relationship can express themselves freely and pursue their own interests and goals.
- Control: Codependent dynamics involve one person becoming overly involved in the other's life, often at the expense of their own needs. This can result in one person feeling suffocated or dependent, while the other feels responsible for their happiness and well-being.
- Love: Relationships based on love encourage open communication, trust, and mutual respect. Both individuals feel valued and supported, leading to a balanced and fulfilling connection.
- Control: Codependency often leads to resentment, frustration, and emotional exhaustion. The controlling behavior can stifle personal growth and create an unhealthy dependence, where both parties struggle to maintain their individuality.
In essence, love in healthy relationships empowers and uplifts, while control in codependent relationships restricts and manipulates. Recognizing these differences is key to fostering healthy, supportive connections.
CHALLENGE: True love empowers and liberates, fostering growth and mutual respect. Let go of the need to control, and instead, embrace the beauty of supporting each other's individuality. By setting healthy boundaries, we cultivate relationships that thrive on genuine care and authentic connection
I Know YOU Can Do It!