Encouragementology

Memory Lane: A Journey to Well-Being and Growth

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a meaningful walk down Memory Lane as we journey to well-being and growth.  Do you ever find yourself deep in thought, wondering why a certain memory pops into your head unannounced? It’s like your brain says, ‘Hey, remember that one time you spilled coffee on your boss’s desk? Classic!’ Memories are our personal time capsules filled with joy, heartache, and lessons we’d rather not repeat. But why are they so sticky? What makes them essential to our well-being, and how can we honor them without getting stuck in the past? Let’s dive into the treasure chest of our minds and figure out how these moments shape, heal, and even save us.

Welcome to Memory Lane, where the roads are paved with laughter and tears, the occasional pothole of embarrassment, and some scenic overlooks that make you go, “Wow, I’ve come a long way!” But before we start skipping down the lane hand-in-hand with nostalgia, let’s talk about what makes these little snapshots in our minds so special—and sometimes so puzzling.

What are memories, anyway?

Think of your brain as the ultimate personal assistant—it stores your to-do lists, your grocery store disasters, and that one karaoke performance you wish it would forget. Memories are essentially your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this moment? Worth keeping.” They’re formed when our experiences are encoded in the brain, stored for safekeeping, and then retrieved when needed—or, you know, when you’re trying to sleep at 3 a.m. UGH every night!

The sciencey bit (but fun, I promise):

There are two main types of memory:

• Short-term memory: Like a post-it note for your brain. It’s where you store quick info like, “Where did I put my keys?” Spoiler alert: you’ll still lose them.
• Long-term memory: These are the biggies—your first dance, the smell of your grandma’s cookies, or that epic road trip. They stick around because they matter.

Why do they matter?

Memories are more than just the greatest hits of your life—they’re your compass, your roadmap, and your connection to the world. They shape how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you make sense of everything. Without them, you’d be like a GPS with no destination input—just aimlessly wandering through life!

A fun little detour:

Ever notice how a certain smell or song can hit you like a time machine? That’s called memory triggers, and they’re sneaky little things. One whiff of sunscreen, and suddenly you’re 10 years old at the beach, building sandcastles and eating questionable hot dogs. Or maybe it’s hearing that one song that reminds you of your high school crush—cue Sister Christian, awkward dances, and terrible fashion choices.

So, before we dive into how to honor and heal through these moments, let’s take a second to appreciate this magical filing system in our heads. Your memories are proof that you’ve lived, loved, and learned—whether that lesson was to never attempt bangs again or to cherish the people who make life worth remembering.

At the International Educator, Elke Greite shares more about The Role Of Memory In Identity and Education

Dr. Kate Truitt gives us some good insight into Healing Through the Art of Storytelling

On Ted-Ed’s YouTube Channel, I found How Memories Form and How We Lose Them by Catharine Young

CHALLENGE: Take time this week to revisit one memory that brings you joy and reflect on how it has shaped you. Then, create a new moment to treasure—because the story of your life deserves another great chapter.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Power of Habit: Creating and Sustaining Positive Behaviors

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring The Power of Habit as we aim to create and sustain positive behaviors. Habits—those sneaky little routines that either keep us on track or derail us faster than a spilled cup of coffee on Monday morning. Whether it’s hitting snooze one too many times, grabbing that extra cookie you swore you wouldn’t, or finally nailing a consistent workout routine, habits shape our lives more than we realize.

But here’s the good news: habits aren’t just hardwired; they can be rewired. So let’s dive deep into what makes habits stick, why they’re so stubborn, and how we can transform even the tiniest shifts into life-changing routines.

Think of it like building a house—you don’t lay the roof first; you start with one solid brick at a time. The same goes for habits: small, intentional changes can lead to extraordinary growth. So, get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even uncover a habit or two you didn’t know you had! Let’s crack the code to better routines and a better you.

First, let’s define what a habit is and how it’s formed. A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. According to Psychology Today, habit formation is the process by which behaviors become automatic through repetition. This process involves a three-step pattern known as the “habit loop”: cue, routine, and reward. The cue triggers the behavior, the routine is the behavior itself, and the reward is the benefit you gain from doing the behavior, which reinforces the habit. 

In my exploration of habits, I came across an insightful article titled “The Science of Habit: How to Rewire Your Brain” from Healthline. 

Let’s end with some uplifting inspiration. On the Motivation Ark’s YouTube channel, I found, a Motivational Speech By James Clear 

CHALLENGE: Identify one habit that has the power to transform your life. Commit wholeheartedly to practicing it every day for the next 30 days, knowing that each small, consistent step rewires your mind and strengthens your foundation for growth. Remember, positive habits are the seeds of lasting change, and every repetition brings you closer to the best version of yourself.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Navigating the Middle Ground: Open-Mindedness vs. Firm Beliefs

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are trying to achieve a balance between open-mindedness and firm beliefs as we navigate the middle ground. Staying true to your convictions is one position you can take but how does that stance affect the way you embrace new ideas and differing opinions?

Ever feel like you’re walking a mental tightrope, trying to keep an open mind while staying true to what you believe? It’s like trying to balance on a seesaw with a curious toddler on one end and a stubborn goat on the other—challenging, unpredictable, and sometimes a little funny in hindsight. In this episode, we’re exploring how to navigate the middle ground between welcoming new ideas and standing firm in your values. We’ll tackle the fear of being too easily swayed, the risks of being stuck in your ways, and that frustrating paralysis that comes from overthinking it all. Let’s dive in, find our balance, and discover how to approach life’s challenges with curiosity and confidence. 

Let’s make sure we all understand the definition of Open-Mindedness:

• The willingness to consider new ideas and perspectives.
• Misconception: Being open-minded means accepting everything without question.

Feel risky? If so, you might have fear around:

• Losing your identity.
• Being coerced into decisions you wouldn’t normally make.
• The slippery slope of “people-pleasing” or over-compromise.

I hear you—it’s exhausting trying to make sense of the conflicting messages we’re bombarded with daily. “Stand your ground!” but “Embrace diverse ideas.” “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything!” yet “You’re narrow-minded if you don’t change your mindset to fit everyone else’s.” Whoa, slow down! Where do we even start?

For me, it’s all about a multi-pronged approach. I pray, listen to my heart, try to see the bigger picture, and seek knowledge—always in that order. I trust myself, but let’s be real, I don’t know everything, and I can’t navigate life’s challenges alone. When I feel that pressure or tension to believe something or act a certain way, I take a step back and ask, “Why?” Why am I feeling this way? This simple pause keeps me from rushing into conclusions or making impulsive decisions.

Here’s the thing: I think many of us adopt an idea and fiercely protect it before we’ve really researched or tested it. It’s human nature to want to feel confident and certain, but what if we took a moment to explore, question, and truly understand? That’s where real balance and growth begin.

At Psychology Compass I found how you have to Contradict yourself to become more open-minded

On Forbes, Dr. Alice G. Walton offers 7 Science-Backed Methods To Get You Out Of Your Head

On The Table’s YouTube channel, I found Changing Your Mind: Virtue or Vice. 

So what happens when you find yourself in this overwhelming push/pull situation in your thinking? What causes it and how do we overcome it?

Fear of Making the “Wrong” Decision or Offending Others

The Issue:

• Many of us freeze at the thought of making a decision that might upset someone or turn out to be a mistake. This fear can be paralyzing, leading to second-guessing or endless deliberation.

How to Overcome It:

• Embrace the idea that no decision is ever truly final—most can be adjusted or revisited. Shift your mindset from “right vs. wrong” to “learning and growing.” Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress.

Being Stuck in Indecision Due to Conflicting Inner Voices

The Issue:

• One part of you says, “Stay safe and stick to what you know,” while another whispers, “Take a risk and explore new possibilities.” This inner tug-of-war can leave you immobilized.

How to Overcome It:

• Practice tuning into each voice without judgment. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst-case scenario? What’s the best-case scenario?” Write these down and weigh the options. Sometimes seeing your thoughts in writing can bring clarity.

Here are some more practical ways to break free:

1. Pause and Reflect Without Judgment

• When faced with pressure or indecision, step back and take a breather. Don’t rush into action or self-criticism. Use simple tools like deep breathing, journaling, or a quiet walk to clear your head.

2. Set Boundaries: Know When to Listen and When to Step Away

• Not every conversation or input requires your full engagement. If external opinions are overwhelming you, give yourself permission to politely step back. A simple, “Thank you for sharing—I need some time to think this through,” can go a long way.

3. Practice Mindful Decision-Making

• Approach decisions with intentionality. Focus on what aligns with your values and goals rather than what pleases others. Break larger decisions into smaller steps to make them feel less daunting, and celebrate each small step forward.

CHALLENGE: Pause and reflect the next time you feel pulled in opposite directions—take a moment to tune into your heart, weigh your values, and explore new perspectives without judgment. Commit to standing firm in what matters most to you while staying open to growth, knowing that true balance is found in the space between.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Finding Your Way Back to Peace

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are taking a deeper look at stress in an attempt to find our way back to peace. No matter what your level of stress is, everyone can benefit from a more peaceful existence because life can sometimes feel like an endless juggling act, and let’s be real—most of us are using bowling pins instead of tennis balls. Between the pressure to perform, the nagging feeling of not being good enough, and the constant stress of “adulting,” it’s no wonder so many of us are stuck in a cycle of burnout. But here’s the good news: there’s a way to hit the pause button, reclaim your peace, and rewrite the narrative playing in your head.

In this episode, we’re diving into how to manage stress, tackle the relentless inner critic, and embrace the idea that you’re not just “enough”—you’re extraordinary. We’ll explore why so many of us feel like we’re falling short, unpack the serious toll this mindset takes on our health, and share practical, empowering strategies to help you flip the script. Because let’s face it, you deserve to feel good about yourself—and that starts today. Ready? With peace being the ultimate destination, let’s chart a course offering valuable pitstops along the way.

Maybe you sometimes feel stress but not sure it’s all bad or that you suffer from too much stress. Maybe the word Peace conjures up tie-die an hemp necklaces instead of a tranquil existence. Let’s start with a few definitions to make sure we’re all on the same page:

Stress: a feeling of emotional strain and pressure that occurs when a person perceives an event as taxing or endangering their well-being. 

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

Ok, simple enough? Hardly.

At Healthline, I found Why Americans Are More Stressed Today Than They Were in the 1990s

Kira M. Newman helps us understand What to Do When You Never Feel Good Enough found on Greater Good

On Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, I found, Stress, Anxiety, and Worry

Self-regulation tools can be divided into quick fixes for immediate relief and long-term health practices for sustained well-being. 

• Quick Fixes: Excellent for acute stress or when you need fast relief.
• Long-Term Practices: Create a buffer against future stress and support sustained emotional balance.
• Integration: Use quick fixes during high-stress moments while building long-term habits for resilience.

Quick Fixes

These are tools you can use in the moment to calm stress or regain focus. While effective for immediate needs, they don’t address the underlying causes of dysregulation.

Deep Breathing

• Take 4-5 deep breaths, inhaling for a count of 4, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4.
• Quick relaxation of the nervous system.

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

• Identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
• Redirects focus and alleviates anxiety.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

• Tense and release muscle groups from head to toe.
• Relieves physical tension caused by stress.

Short Walk or Movement Break

• A brisk 5-10 minute walk outside or light stretching.
• Boosts mood by releasing endorphins and clearing the mind.

Journaling for 5 Minutes

• Write down your thoughts or worries.
• Provides mental clarity and emotional relief.

Mindful Distraction

• Engage in a quick, enjoyable activity like a puzzle or music.
• Offers temporary relief by shifting attention.

Long-Term Health Practices

These build resilience and create a foundation for improved self-regulation over time.

Mindfulness Meditation

• Commit to 10-20 minutes daily to cultivate present-moment awareness.
• Reduces stress and improves emotional regulation.

Exercise Routine

• Regular aerobic activity like walking, yoga, or cycling 3-5 times a week.
• Strengthens mind-body connection and releases stress-reducing chemicals.

Sleep Hygiene

• Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep with a consistent bedtime routine.
• Regulates mood, energy, and cognitive function.

Healthy Nutrition

• Focus on a balanced diet with whole foods, reducing caffeine and sugar.
• Supports mental clarity and stable energy levels.

Therapeutic Practices

• Engage in regular therapy, counseling, or self-reflection exercises.
• Addresses root causes of stress and emotional dysregulation.

Regular Gratitude Practice

• Write down 3 things you’re grateful for daily.
• Shifts perspective and fosters resilience.

Learning Emotional Regulation Skills

• Techniques like cognitive reframing or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
• Provides tools to manage triggers and stress more effectively.

CHALLENGE:  Start small. Identify one stressor in your life and address it with a calming technique we discussed, like deep breathing or reframing your thoughts. Then, commit to taking one small step toward asking for support or setting a boundary—because your peace is worth protecting.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Living in Gratitude: Beyond the Discovery

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are going beyond the discovery and exploring what an ongoing life of gratitude, looks like. We all know the buzz about finding gratitude—it’s like the self-help world’s holy grail. But let’s be real, what’s the point of finding something amazing if you don’t know how to hold onto it? It’s like finding the perfect snack in the pantry and then eating it all in one go—gone too soon! Gratitude shouldn’t be a one-hit wonder; it’s meant to be the background music of your life, playing on repeat.

In this episode, we’re diving into what happens after you find gratitude. How can you turn those fleeting “thank goodness” moments into a sustainable practice? What does it do for your day-to-day mood and the bigger picture of your life? And, most importantly, how can you live in gratitude rather than treating it like a magic wand you wave when things get rough? 

Let’s explore how to make gratitude less of a to-do list item and more of a way of being—because a grateful heart isn’t just lighter, it’s stronger. Buckle up, this journey will leave you feeling uplifted and ready to embrace life’s magic, one thankful moment at a time!

So if I asked you, what is your gratitude practice, what would you say? Journaling, prayer, when someone reminds me, or only around the table one day of the year? Well, I might be all of the above. I do usually start a prayer with what I’m thankful for and I have been known to journal a gratitude list a time or two. I even have a group chat with some diligent members who prompt me to steer my morning in a thoughtful and thankful way. But how can we go from using gratitude as a quick fix to truly integrating it into their lives?

Sheldon Reid shares The Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice It found in the Help Guide

John Bradley makes the connection between the transformative duo: Gratitude and Empathy: Cultivating Understanding and Compassion for Others. Found on Medium.

On Fearless Soul’s YouTube channel, I found Say "Thank You" - Motivation On The Importance Of Gratitude - what a nice and uplifting way to end.

Just like any good habit, gratitude requires intentionality and practice to turn it from a fleeting feeling into a lasting lifestyle. Here’s how you can build a gratitude practice that not only sticks but transforms the way you see the world:

1. Anchor Gratitude to Daily Habits

One of the easiest ways to make gratitude sustainable is to attach it to something you already do. For example:

• Morning Routine: Start each day by naming three things you’re grateful for before getting out of bed or while sipping your coffee.
• Mealtime: Reflect on what you’re grateful for as part of saying grace or a moment of mindfulness before eating.
• Evening Wind-Down: End the day with a gratitude journal entry or a quick reflection on the best part of your day.

2. Practice Gratitude in Action

Gratitude is most powerful when it’s expressed, not just felt. Find ways to act on your gratitude:

• Write thank-you notes to people who’ve made a difference in your life, whether recently or years ago.
• Compliment someone genuinely and specifically—it could brighten their day and remind you of what you appreciate about others.
• Volunteer your time or donate to causes you’re passionate about as a way of giving back in gratitude.

3. Incorporate Gratitude Into Challenges

Gratitude isn’t just for sunny days. It becomes truly transformative when applied during tough times. When faced with challenges:

• Look for the lesson or growth opportunity in the situation.
• Reflect on past difficulties and what they taught you.
• Focus on the support or resources you have to navigate the challenge.

4. Surround Yourself with Gratitude Cues

Sometimes we need a little nudge to keep our gratitude practice on track. Set up reminders and cues in your environment:

• Place sticky notes with positive affirmations or gratitude prompts on your mirror, desk, or fridge.
• Use a gratitude app or set a daily reminder on your phone to pause and reflect.
• Display photos, keepsakes, or mementos that remind you of meaningful people, moments, or accomplishments.

5. Create a Gratitude Accountability Partner

Everything’s more fun (and sustainable) with a buddy! Share your gratitude goals with a friend or family member and check in with each other regularly. This could be as simple as exchanging texts about what you’re grateful for or meeting up to talk about the positive things happening in your lives.

CHALLENGE: Gratitude isn’t just something you find—it’s something you live, and the real magic happens when you let it ripple through your thoughts, choices, and connections. Challenge yourself to go beyond fleeting moments of thankfulness and create a practice that transforms your perspective, strengthens your relationships, and fuels your joy every single day!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Value of Community: Building, Belonging, and Blooming Together

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are building, belonging, and blooming together as we explore and celebrate, the value of community. When you think of the word ‘community,’ what comes to mind? Is it a neighborhood, a friend group, or maybe something you long for but haven’t found yet? If the self-proclaimed “loner” still needs to feel connected and supported. People need people. The popular song sheds some valuable insight: We're children, needing other children and yet letting a grown-up pride hide all the need inside.

So let’s talk about community—the people who lift you up, laugh at your bad jokes, and sometimes even remind you to take down your trash. Community isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s a life-changing, soul-nourishing, growth-accelerating gift. Whether it’s your ride-or-die crew, a group of neighbors, or a virtual squad cheering you on from afar, we all need a tribe. Don’t have one? No problem! You can start your own—it’s easier than you think and way more fun than going it alone.

In this episode, we’ll explore why community matters, how to spot a good one (or a bad one), and how finding your people can help you truly bloom. Because life’s too short to be lonely—let’s build something beautiful together!

Jenny Anderson shares some advice on The only metric of success that really matters is the one we ignore found on Quartz

At Conscious Mommy I found Building a Conscious Village:  Connection When You’re Feeling Lonely

On the Dare to Do YouTube channel, I found The Pencil's Tale - a story that everyone should hear

Ever got sucked into a toxic community? Detecting and avoiding a toxic community requires awareness of behaviors, patterns, and overall group dynamics. Here are some ways to identify and steer clear of toxic environments:

Signs of a Toxic Community

1. Lack of Respect or Boundaries:

• Members disregard personal boundaries, gossip, or belittle others.
• Communication is often passive-aggressive or openly hostile.

 

• Negative Energy and Drama:

• Frequent conflicts, constant complaints, or pervasive negativity dominate interactions.
• People focus on tearing others down rather than lifting them up.

 

• Exclusion and Cliques:

• Some members are deliberately excluded, creating a sense of “in-group” versus “out-group.”
• Newcomers or outsiders are treated with suspicion or disdain.

 

• Excessive Control:

• Leaders or prominent members exert control, demanding loyalty or conformity.
• There is little room for differing opinions or individuality.

 

• Unhealthy Competition:

• Members are pitted against each other or judged based on unrealistic standards.
• Success is envied rather than celebrated, fostering resentment.

 

• Physical or Emotional Drain:

• Interactions leave you feeling anxious, upset, or drained rather than supported or empowered.
• A sense of obligation to stay outweighs genuine enjoyment.

 

How to Avoid or Leave Toxic Communities

 

• Set Personal Boundaries:

• Be clear about what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate. Practice saying no when necessary.

 

• Observe Before Joining:

• Take time to assess a group’s dynamics before committing. Observe how members treat one another and handle disagreements.

 

• Seek Positive Attributes:

• Look for communities with mutual respect, empathy, and inclusivity.
• Find groups that share your values and encourage growth.

 

• Reflect on How You Feel:

• Regularly evaluate how the community impacts your mental and emotional health. If it’s consistently negative, consider stepping away.

 

• Speak Up or Address Issues:

• If you’re invested in the group, try addressing the toxic behavior directly or with leaders. However, recognize when change is unlikely.

 

• Focus on Building or Joining Healthy Communities:

• Seek out groups aligned with your interests, where people share goals of positivity, support, and mutual respect.
• Consider starting your own community with values you prioritize, such as open communication and collaboration.

CHALLENGE: Step into the power of community by surrounding yourself with people who inspire, challenge, and uplift you—because the connections you nurture today will shape your happiness, health, and purpose tomorrow!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

The Power of Influence: Recognizing What Shapes Us and Taking Control

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring the power of influence, recognizing what shapes us, and taking back control. We have all been bombarded with messaging asking, begging, and sometimes coercing us to think, feel, and take action. Where do your own thoughts hide in the midst of such assaults? Influence as a pervasive force in our lives that can shape our choices, our mindset, and even our identity. It can feel like a current—sometimes it gently guides us, but other times it’s strong enough to sweep us off our feet. The key is in recognizing where influence is coming from and deciding how much power to give it. Let’s take a big breathe here and make a commitment to unpack, resort, and purge some influencing ideas that no longer serve us in a positive way. 

Influence is more than just peer pressure; it’s subtle and can come from various sources—family, friends, social media, society, our inner dialogue, and even our environment. 

• A close friend’s advice feels comforting but can sometimes lead you down their path instead of yours.
• Social media trends can push you to buy, think, or act in ways you normally wouldn’t.
• Influence of a mentor or a loved one can impactfully shape your values and ambitions.

Tyler Jensen, a psychotherapist,  sheds some light on The Allure of Negativity: Why Our Brains Are Drawn to It

At Knowledge of Wharton, I found ‘Invisible Influence’: What Really Shapes Our Decisions, an interview with the author Jonah Berger

On Simon Sinek’s YouTube channel, as always, I found some wise words  on How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

1. Develop Media Literacy and Mindful Consumption

• Pause and Evaluate: Before you engage with media (whether it’s news, social media, or entertainment), take a moment to reflect on what you’re about to consume. Ask yourself why you’re choosing this source, and consider whether it aligns with your values or goals.
• Question the Source: Develop a habit of asking, “Who created this, and what might be their motivation?” For example, consider whether a brand, influencer, or network could have hidden interests. Recognizing potential biases helps you stay in control of how you interpret information.

2. Limit Exposure to Influential Sources

• Set Boundaries: If you notice certain media or social media accounts lead to self-doubt, stress, or unhealthy comparison, consider unfollowing, muting, or setting a time limit on those platforms.
• Curate Positive Influences: Choose to follow people, brands, and organizations that support your goals, align with your values, and inspire you in constructive ways. Make it a rule to engage with content that adds positivity and growth to your life.

3. Strengthen Your Core Values

• Define Your Values: Reflect on what’s truly important to you, whether it’s integrity, creativity, kindness, learning, or independence. When you have a solid sense of your core values, it becomes easier to recognize when outside influence aligns or conflicts with them.
• Regularly Revisit Goals and Priorities: Set aside time each month to revisit your goals. Are you on track with what you want, or have you drifted because of external pressures? Realigning with your values keeps you grounded in your personal vision.

4. Practice Self-Questioning to Uncover Hidden Influence

• Ask Yourself Key Questions:
  • “Why do I want to do this?” This question can help you determine if a choice truly aligns with your desires or if it’s an idea you’ve absorbed from others.
  • “How do I feel about this?” Checking in with your feelings lets you see if you’re enthusiastic, uneasy, or pressured—emotions that reveal whether your decision is authentic.
  • “What would I do if no one else were watching?” Imagine you’re free of anyone’s opinion or judgment to help identify choices that are truly your own.

5. Build Confidence in Your Own Voice

• Challenge Yourself to Act on Your Opinions: Start with small decisions where you rely solely on your own thoughts. For example, choose an outfit based on your preference, pick a book that genuinely interests you, or make weekend plans based on what would make you happiest.
• Engage in Conversations with an Open Mind: Practice sharing your perspective in discussions, even if it’s different from others. Engaging with diverse opinions while sticking to your viewpoint can help build resilience and confidence in your own voice.

6. Create a Supportive Inner Circle

• Surround Yourself with Encouragers: Choose friends, mentors, and family members who respect your individuality and encourage you to make decisions that feel true to you. A supportive circle will uplift and validate you, rather than pressuring you to conform.
• Find Accountability Partners: Identify someone who’s also working on taking control of their influences and check in with each other. Share your progress, any struggles, and celebrate wins together to help reinforce each other’s growth.

7. Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility

• Recognize that Influence is Natural: Understand that we’re all influenced by our environments. Self-compassion can prevent you from feeling guilty if you realize you’ve been swayed in a direction you didn’t want. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and readjust.
• Be Open to Change: Sometimes, testing your perspective means you might genuinely change your opinion. That’s a sign of growth. The goal is to ensure that any changes reflect your evolving self rather than fleeting external pressures.

CHALLENGE: Remember, influence is a force we all experience, but it doesn’t have to control us. Recognize what’s guiding your path, decide what you want to allow in, and remember that you have the power to steer your own journey.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Navigating Feelings: Finding Balance Between Empathy and Self-Reflection

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we will be navigating feelings as we try to find a balance between empathy and self-reflection. How are you feeling? How do those feelings impact another person’s feelings? Can you feel what another person is feeling? Are you as confused as I am by this line of questioning? Well, today, we’re diving into the world of feelings—yes, that deep, squishy part of being human! We live in a culture that champions the importance of respecting feelings, which is awesome…but sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our feelings that we forget to take a peek at the other side of the coin. What happens when we’re hyper-focused on our own emotions? Could we be missing out on understanding someone else’s? Let’s explore the fine art of balancing self-reflection with empathy, of making room for our own feelings and those of the people around us. It’s all about connecting, growing, and creating more ‘aha’ moments in our relationships—with a little bit of humor, honesty, and a lot of heart along the way!

When I was growing up, the question, ‘How do you feel?’ had a whole different vibe. It was usually about the basics—are you hot, cold, tired, or maybe just a little hungry? When it came to health, the answer was usually straightforward: sick or not. If you were really under the weather, maybe you’d get a day at home or a trip to the nurse’s office. Simple. But today, that question has become a lot more nuanced. Now, asking ‘How do you feel?’ can open up a world of responses, as unique and layered as each person who answers it.

Don’t get me wrong, a focus on exploring more about feelings has helped normalize mental health discussions, reduced stigma, and empowered people to speak openly about their struggles. It has illuminated the need for self-awareness, stress management, and setting boundaries. However, focusing too much on personal feelings can sometimes limit our ability to connect empathetically with others. It can even contribute to misunderstandings in relationships if one person is more focused on expressing their own feelings versus listening to understand someone else’s emotional struggles.

Ever heard of emotional myopia – when we see only our own emotional perspective and may inadvertently neglect the feelings of others?

Martha Beck starts this discussion with Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots found on her blog

At Everyday Speach I found an angle we need to cover; Understanding Others: The Importance of Perspective-Taking

At the Worry Games, Lisa Branson shares another perspective on Why You Should Stop Focusing on Your Feelings

On TEDx Talks I found some wise information on Validation,and communication through Empathy by Naomi Feil

 

Recognizing when someone is playing on our emotions to push their own agenda can be tricky, but there are a few red flags that can help us stay aware:

1. Intense Emotional Appeal

• If someone is leaning heavily into emotions—guilt, pity, anger, or fear—without much substance or reason behind it, it’s a sign they might be trying to sway you emotionally rather than engaging in a balanced conversation. Notice if they’re frequently amplifying emotional language or using words designed to make you feel extreme sympathy or urgency.

2. Lack of Listening and Empathy

• People pushing an agenda will often avoid giving space to your feelings, opinions, or questions. If they dominate the conversation, rarely let you speak, or dismiss your perspective when you do, it’s a red flag. Genuine conversations include active listening; if it feels one-sided, trust that instinct.

3. Deflection and Manipulation of Responsibility

• When you try to express your own emotions or viewpoints, do they quickly shift the topic back to their own concerns or play down your feelings? Manipulators often turn things around to make you feel responsible for their emotions, a tactic to keep the focus on themselves and their goals.

4. Inconsistent Narratives or Exaggerations

• Listen for inconsistencies or exaggerated claims that don’t add up. Manipulators may bend the truth or overemphasize details to paint themselves in a certain light or to steer you toward a specific reaction. If something seems “off” or overly dramatic, trust your gut.

5. Pressure to Make Quick Decisions

• People pushing an agenda often create a sense of urgency, pressuring you to act or decide quickly. They know that when we’re rushed, we’re less likely to question or analyze their motives. Pausing and asking for time to think it over is often the best way to get clarity.

6. Using Past Events as Emotional Leverage

• Manipulators might bring up past events or your own vulnerabilities to make you feel indebted to them or guilty. They might even use their past generosity or sacrifices as leverage, nudging you to go along with their wishes. This type of guilt-tripping is a clear sign they’re trying to steer your emotions to benefit their narrative.

7. Trust Your Gut

• Sometimes, the simplest way to recognize manipulation is by trusting your own feelings. If you feel drained, confused, or somehow “off” after talking with them, this might be your intuition signaling that their intentions aren’t fully in your best interest.

By keeping an eye out for these signs, you can protect your emotional space and engage with people on your own terms, setting boundaries and staying true to your values.

CHALLENGE: Look beyond your own feelings and consider the bigger picture—what are others experiencing, and how can you make space for that? By balancing self-reflection with empathy, you can create deeper, more meaningful connections that benefit everyone involved.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Shocking Truth: How Media’s Shock and Awe Keeps Us on High Alert and Weakens Our Instincts

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are exploring the shocking truth about how the media’s shock and awes keep us on high alert but in actuality, weaken our instincts. Have you ever heard of the tale of Henny Penny? It’s a classic Scandinavian folktale where a little chick named Henny Penny gets hit on the head by a falling acorn and panics, believing that the sky itself is falling. Determined to warn the king, Henny Penny sets off on a journey, gathering other animals along the way who are also swept up in the hysteria. However, they eventually meet a clever fox who pretends to join their mission but instead lures them to its den—where it ends up eating them all. And that’s the abrupt, cautionary end of their story! OUCH.

Ever feel like you’re bombarded with so much shocking news that it’s hard to know what’s an actual emergency? Kind of like poor Henny Penny, who thought the sky was falling over a little acorn! In this episode, we’re diving into what happens when the media’s constant “shock and awe” leaves us in a state of constant worry, always braced for disaster. We’ll explore how this can wear us down and dull our true instincts, and most importantly, we’ll uncover ways to take back our peace, sharpen our intuition, and add a little calm to our daily lives. Let’s get grounded and learn to spot the real acorns from the falling skies—no foxes allowed!

I could have started by pandering today’s headlines but to be honest, I didn’t want to throw any more fuel on the inferno. I also know it’s easy to look to a “simpler” past by saying, “Back in my day we had three channels….and you had to get up to turn them.” But that kind of angle isn’t going to grab the youth of today.  So let’s just consult the hard-core facts. I wanted to look at a thirty-year span so we could see how our consumption in America has changed over the past three decades.

On the Cleveland Clinic’s website, I found information about the biology of Always on Alert: Causes and Examples of Hypervigilance

Carolyn L Todd gives us some Stressful News Cycle Tips: 13 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health found on Self 

Over at Big Think’s YouTube channel, Alex Edmans helps you Improve your critical thinking skills in just 6 minutes

When we get used to constant alarming headlines and alerts, it can really mess with our ability to spot real danger when it actually matters. Here’s how:

1. Slower Response in Emergencies:

• When we’re bombarded with “urgent” information all the time, we start tuning it out—even if it’s important. It’s like hearing a fire alarm but thinking, “Eh, probably another drill.” This can lead us to hesitate or ignore real emergencies, which can be risky in critical situations.

2. Difficulty Telling Real Risks from Fake Ones:

• After a while, it becomes hard to figure out what’s an actual threat and what’s just noise. We might freak out over something minor but brush off something serious, which is not exactly ideal if we want to keep ourselves safe.

3. Health Burnout:

• Constant alerts and stress keep us in a high-stress state, which isn’t good for anyone. When we’re always on edge, our bodies start to wear down—anxiety, high blood pressure, poor sleep, you name it. Eventually, we get so used to that stress that we become numb, and when something real happens, our bodies may not respond with the urgency we actually need.

4. Community Safety Slips:

• Desensitization can even affect a whole community. If everyone starts to shrug off warnings, we can end up ignoring things like severe weather alerts or health warnings. This makes it easier for emergencies to do real damage because no one takes the steps they should to stay safe.

5. Weaker Instincts and Slower Decision-Making:

• Constant worry over everything can mess with our survival instincts. When we’re overloaded, it becomes harder to think clearly and react quickly. We can lose that sharp sense of what’s actually dangerous and what’s not, which messes with our natural ability to make quick, smart choices.

6. More Apathy and Helplessness:

• Ever feel like there’s just too much going on to make a difference? The more we’re bombarded by negativity, the more likely we are to feel helpless. And when that sets in, we’re less likely to step up when it actually counts or get involved in efforts that could make a positive change.

7. Normalizing Risky Behavior:

• Over time, constant exposure to stories about danger or violence can make risky behavior seem normal. We might find ourselves being a bit too casual with things like safety precautions or risky habits because they don’t seem like a big deal anymore.

This desensitization isn’t just about personal safety—it affects whole communities. Breaking out of it means setting some boundaries on our media intake, staying connected to the present, and making a conscious effort to focus on what we can control. That way, we’re not only ready for real emergencies but also a lot less stressed out in general.

CHALLENGE: Break free from the echo chamber—take a step back, question your sources, and seek out new perspectives that might surprise you. By doing this, you’re empowering yourself to see the world in a fuller, richer way, staying curious, informed, and open-minded!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!

Leadership is Not Just a Title; It’s an Attitude

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are embracing leadership as an attitude and not just as a title. Maybe you’re a CEO, VP, or Director and maybe you don’t hold a title at all. Either way, you are a leader. You don’t need a corner office or fancy title to lead; all you need is a little courage and a lot of self-belief. It’s all about finding your voice and stepping into your power, whether you’re running a team, working behind the scenes, or just navigating your everyday life. Leadership isn’t about calling the shots—it’s about taking charge of your journey, lifting others up, and being the CEO of your own story.

We’ll explore how you can lead from where you are and talk about how being the “entrepreneur” of your life means setting your own course. It’s time to ditch the idea that leadership is only for a select few—if you’ve got passion, purpose, and a willingness to grow, then congratulations, my friend—you’re already a leader! 

For some people, taking charge comes easily. For me, it was inherent. I can remember times when I stepped up and took charge, times when I was asked, and times when it was assumed. I also remember times when it didn’t always go as planned. There are instances where I find comfort in mentoring and encouraging but not leading and other times where I purposely, take a back seat. What about you? Where are you most comfortable and where would you like to grow? Being a leader is about mindset, whether in a workplace, a community, or your personal life. Everyone has the potential to lead by finding their voice and taking control of their journey.

Matt Mayberry helps us understand that You Don’t Need to Be “the Boss” to Be a Leader found at the Harvard Business Review

Michelle Rees shows us How to Take Ownership of Your Life (and Get Everything You Want) found at Whole Life Challenge

Simon Sinek gives some valuable insight on What Makes a Leader Great? Found on his YouTube channel

Embracing an entrepreneurial spirit is all about thinking like a visionary, taking initiative, and having the courage to pursue new opportunities. Here are some ways to cultivate that mindset in your own life:

1. Adopt a Growth Mindset

• Entrepreneurs are always learning. Instead of fearing failure, see it as a chance to grow. Every challenge or mistake is an opportunity to improve, and this mindset opens doors to new possibilities.

2. Take Initiative

• Stop waiting for permission or perfect timing. Whether it’s in your job, personal life, or side projects, be proactive. Look for opportunities to lead, solve problems, or create something new. The entrepreneurial spirit thrives on taking action.

3. Set Big Goals and Break Them Down

• Entrepreneurs dream big, but they know that success doesn’t happen overnight. Set ambitious goals, but break them into smaller, manageable steps. This keeps you focused and motivated while building momentum.

4. Be Comfortable with Risk

• To think like an entrepreneur, you’ve got to get comfortable with uncertainty. Not every idea will succeed, and that’s okay. Take calculated risks, and view them as a necessary part of innovation and growth.

5. Get Creative with Problem-Solving

• Entrepreneurs don’t just accept problems—they find creative solutions. Train yourself to think outside the box. When something doesn’t go according to plan, instead of throwing in the towel, ask yourself, “What’s another way to approach this?”

6. Embrace Failure as a Learning Experience

• Entrepreneurs see failure as feedback. Don’t let setbacks stop you—learn from them. Whether it’s a botched presentation or a business idea that didn’t take off, each “failure” is a stepping stone toward success.

7. Network and Collaborate

• Entrepreneurs know the power of connection. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge you, and push you to be better. Collaboration sparks new ideas and can lead to exciting opportunities.

8. Stay Flexible and Adaptable

• The entrepreneurial spirit thrives on flexibility. Be willing to pivot when things change or new opportunities arise. If plan A doesn’t work, entrepreneurs are already thinking of plan B (and C, and D).

9. Cultivate Passion and Purpose

• Entrepreneurship isn’t just about making money—it’s about passion. Find what excites you and pursue it with enthusiasm. Having a sense of purpose fuels persistence and keeps you going even when the road gets tough.

10. Celebrate Small Wins

• Entrepreneurship is a journey, and it’s important to celebrate the milestones along the way. Recognize your progress, no matter how small, because it keeps you motivated and energized for the bigger goals ahead.

CHALLENGE: It’s time to step up and take charge—be the leader of your own life by finding your voice, embracing risks, and turning challenges into opportunities. Remember, leadership is an attitude, not a title, and you have the power to create the path you want!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!