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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are ringing the bell, taking notice, and adding joy to the world with our own intentional contributions. Guess what, you don’t have to wait on the miraculous to happen to feel great pleasure and happiness. You can take charge and create these feelings for yourself. It starts with understanding more about this feeling called joy. Digging deeper into the action of giving joyfully, and then understanding how you can take ownership of adding joy to the world. Sounds like a worthy mission to me. I mean what’s the opposite; misery, despair, trial, and tribulation - no thank you! Give me joy…oops I mean, let me find joy, strive for joy, and spread joy. Deal?
I have never quite understood this idea of, it’s as good as it’s ever going to get OR these are the cards I’ve been dealt. Or phrases like; that’s just the way it is and everyone’s got to die of something. No thank you! It brings to mind this meme I saw around the internet where a raccoon on the side of the road, definitely deceased has a mylar balloon tied to his wrist that says “Get Well Soon”.
It’s time to take matters into your own hands. Do you want to feel more joyful in your day-to-day life? Would you like to be surrounded by more joyful people? Are you looking for a way to contribute to the health of the world but it feels like an impossible task? Well, you’ve tuned into the right show today - stay with me!
You are a joyologist! Ok, maybe you aren’t right now or today but you can be. You can make infectious joy part of your daily routine.
To get there, we need to know the difference…
At compassion.com I found THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JOY AND HAPPINESS
At globalleadership.org I found some valuable insight; Brené Brown on Joy and Gratitude
Dr. Brené Brown on Joy: It's Terrifying | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network
Lauren Carpenter shares 10 WAYS TO SPREAD JOY found at indymaven.com
The Simple Art of Spreading Joy | Kelly Krenzel | TEDxFargo
CHALLENGE: activate joy in your life! It resides in your heart and you can share it with others through acts of service. Active joy illuminates your life and draws others to you.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are going to slow our mad dash to get somewhere and celebrate where we are. As you look back over this year, take stock of all you’ve done, all you’ve experienced, how you’ve grown, and where you added value. So much of our time and energy is invested in setting goals and striving to hit those goals. What do we do when we get there? We make new goals. Very little time is spent on celebrating the win. What happens when we don’t reach the goal? We give up most of the time, but sometimes we re-engineer that goal and try again. But very little time if any is spent on celebrating what we did accomplish and the growth and learning we received as a result. The quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson might sound cliche, “ “It's not the Destination, It's the journey.” But it’s true! Even though it’s more about the climb the celebration gives you that much-needed intrinsic reward to motivate you as you journey to your next destination.
So as you look back over your year, what stands out? Are you able to immediately pinpoint the positive highlights or are your wins overshadowed by your losses? Isn’t it frustrating the way your brain gives priority to challenges and threats vs positive outcomes?
Were you able to check things off your to-do list and complete some desired goals? What did you do to celebrate or reward yourself? Who in your inner circle was invited? Did you keep it to yourself or over-post on social media - it’s ok, we can be honest here. Let’s trace the steps of this year’s journey to get a push where we may be stuck and kudos where we might have overlooked an accomplished milestone. Let’s also find some healthy habits we can adopt to make the climb that much more rewarding!
CHALLENGE: take stock and identify joy in the process even when you can’t claim a win. Celebrate each milestone along your journey to give yourself the necessary fuel to carry on.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show….we are taking notice of the world around us by seeing people. Not just the people you have in your inner circle or the people you come into contact with at work, church, school, or the grocery. I mean ALL people from the itty bitty babies who get all the coos to the elderly who sometimes get forgotten. It’s time to celebrate and learn from every season of life. Are you in your prime? What season is that? Is that when you’re just starting out and the world is your oyster or is that when you have finally figured out that life is for you and not against you? That you can overcome life’s challenges and learn from disappointment, pain, and sorrow. Not sure I can cover all the angles of this idea but I can get you thinking and curious to know more. Most importantly, I would like to give you an awareness of the value of each stage so that you can take notice and See People.
This idea came to me in the midst of a people-watching session during some recent travel. Are you a people watcher? Oooooh I love some good people-watching. We recently returned from New Orlean’s French Quarter, need I say more? But this recent travel involved a few airports. Perfect people-watching. You have time, nothing to do but wait on your plane, and plenty of people to watch. But most of the people around me were on their phones, texting, searching, face-timing, playing games, or just clicking through their photos.
Even though I was watching them, they weren’t watching me. It dawned on me how little we casually interact these days. The airport and a long flight used to be the best time to make a new friend, learn about a job or industry, and share a little about yourself with a complete stranger, knowing your paths probably wouldn’t cross again.
Follow These 3 Rules To Have a Successful Life ! | Lou Holtz
Eric Baker shares 10 Life Lessons You Can Learn From the Smartest Older People found at time.com
CHALLENGE: SEE PEOPLE, slow down and take notice. Intentionally reach out and connect with some to share and learn. Every stage of life is captured in the people around you, don’t let them go unnoticed.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 15, 2022
Tuesday Nov 15, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re looking to take a big ol’intentional step toward our purpose. Lengthening your stride is about walking with long, decisive steps in a specified direction. Being intentional means doing something with a purpose or deliberately. So what you won’t hear during this show is any type of time-out huddle rally, asking you to get your head in the game and try harder, run faster, or achieve better results. Instead, this will be looking at patience, and timing while we take a purposeful walk along our journey. So relax, let the pressures of the day go, and let’s start to examine where we are and where we want to go. We’ll look at picking up a tip or two so don’t worry about a radical life change. Just a pace that is easy yet a bit more calculated.
You know when I started out on my journey, I had it all figured out, or at least I thought I did. Remember mapquest printouts? Step-by-step instructions, arrows, markers, and even upcoming detours. Then life hands you unexpected delays and instead of “recalculating” you hang out there for a while, trying to figure it all out and what should be your next move. It seems like a couple of decades of rinse and repeat until you get a better plan, broader view, or maybe just different expectations. What I mean to say is, hey, life has a way of sorting things out and getting you back on course. Maybe not the one you intended but nevertheless, you’re moving forward.
But guess what….you can insert a little intention here.
Maggie Wooll enlightens us with 8 reasons why patience in life matters found at betterup.com
Caspar Craven tells us how to Be Intentional: Redesign Your Life To Make Good Use Of Time
Antonia at balancethroughsimplicity.com adds 14 Ways to be Intentional Every Day
CHALLENGE: slow down to focus and then step with intent toward your purpose. Slow and steady gives you time to enjoy the experiences along the way as you choose the most meaningful way to spend your most precious resource.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we will be exposing the elephant in the room, exploring the why behind defiance or hurt feelings, and embracing a new perspective with hopefully understanding and tolerance. We’re aimed at addressing the power imbalance instead of avoiding it. Of course, we will come at the subject from many angles. The abuse of legitimate power and the misuse of perceived power. It may be helpful to use a personal and professional lens to understand what it means to push back and find your voice and when it’s appropriate. We should also be mindful of our own power and suitable use and squander. The word mindful may be the buzzword of the decade but it really is the key to understanding. Mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s about being aware from all angles taking into account all involved. Ready to tip the scales in an attempt to find balance?
I had a friend ask me to do a show on bullying. I haven’t done one before so of course, I agreed. When one hears the word bullying or to bully the first thought, at least for me, is the big boy on the playground picking on the smaller boy. It dawned on me that even though that was my first thought, it in no way represents all the facets of the subject and in fact, is a much too narrow view. So I looked up the definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). With my first impression of bullying I can say, I don’t have any first-hand knowledge. As a child I was always, for the most part, self-confident and extroverted. I might have been viewed as a leader instead of a follower. I can’t recall a time when someone picked on me at least to the point that it did harm or that I carried the memory with me.
But, when I consider the actual definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). I can think of many times that I have been or have been attempted to be coerced. In an attempt to seek harm? I’m not sure, intentional or not, it could be viewed as harmful. Perceived as vulnerable? Anytime someone is uninformed they are vulnerable so if you want to split hairs, and I think we should for this purpose then yes. With this new perspective on the definition, I can safely say, we’ve all been involved in a power imbalance at one time or another.
Now, I’m not going to bash the news and social media (even if mentioned) or go on a political tangent. Coercion is all around us. My goal is to shed some light and new perspectives that we can take on our journey of self-discovery. Knowledge is power! I think we can all start there.
First, let’s explore professionally…
CHALLENGE: find your voice and speak life and love into others as well as over your own life. The power imbalance shifts when you expose the discrepancies while gaining knowledge about your own thoughts and opinions.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show….we are zooming out to get a handle on what’s really going on and what we’re really dealing with. Sometimes the only way to shrink the challenge is to get a new perspective. Are you in the thick of it? You know, up close and maybe too personal to the problem. It’s hard to be objective when you’re staring into the eye of the giant. Back away a bit, gain some height, and a new vantage point. Ok, from up here, what do you see? It may seem like a simple technique but when you’re slogging it out in life it’s hard to take the time or do the climb. But all the more reason. What’s the alternative? Stay stuck, paralyzed by fear, unable to see your way out? Well you could but you’ll only last there for so long and OH the damage you’re doing to yourself in the meantime.
Or, you can take a big breath. Go on…take a BIG BEATHE. Now, let it out real slow. Still with me? Then the ceiling wasn’t falling as fast as you thought. Let’s jockey for a new position, up high where all those insurmountable problems shrink in size. Where we can pull in some peripheral context. Yep, he’s a giant alright but I got this and I can now see with a couple of keen moves this is all going to work out just right.
So I’m going to share some ideas, we’ll listen to a few experts, and attack this from multiple angles. Let’s get started!
Jordan Peterson on Keeping Things in Perspective in Your Life
Over at intelligentchange I found 6 Ways to Deal With Daily Challenges and Obstacles
CHALLENGE: take the time to seek a new perspective. Whether changing your vantage point or opening your mind to new ideas, you can shrink your challenges when you gain a new outlook.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are allowing the door to close, the song to end, and the chapter to play out because we’re moving on without the need for closure. Feels unfinished, huh? People want answers whether there are any or not. If not, we tend to fill in the blanks with the not-so-rosiest of answers. Are you thinking about your own unanswered questions or the time you didn’t receive closure? How did you move on? Maybe you didn’t and you’re still carrying shards of that failed relationship around with you, comparing every new encounter. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how dangerous that can be. Put yourself in their shoes. That’s it, it’s so difficult to see this from any other angle than the one you’re struggling with. What did I do? Where did I go wrong? How can I fix it? Who else is going to hurt me?
If you can’t get there on your own then I’ll move this topic around, from angle to angle for you, to make sure you’re seeing all the possible sides.
Wendy Rose Gould answers the question, What Is Closure in a Relationship?
Psych2go 7 Signs You're Ready for a Closure From a Relationship
Marc Chernoff shares more with 8 Effective Ways to Let Go and Move On
CHALLENGE: don’t be afraid to move on without having all the questions answered. Not every situation needs to be fully defined and not every situation offers you closure. Freedom from the old way of thinking can propel you into a future full of unlimited possibilities.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 18, 2022
Tuesday Oct 18, 2022
On this show…we are recognizing that unsettling feeling and listening to our restless hearts as we look for more. More meaning, more opportunity, more purpose, and more satisfaction. Unsure of where to look? You aren’t alone. So many of us get stuck in the ruts of the day-to-day monotony of life. CLIP What gets you excited about looking for more? Because the fact is, you have to want more to look for more. Maybe it’s experience and adventure or learning something new. Maybe it’s spending time with the precious people in your life and growing your connections. Whatever whispers to you that there’s more out than the routine of life, grab hold and ask for more.
I think there are seasons of your life when you’re naturally more curious. I can think of a few that I’ve already walked through. When you’re young and testing the waters of anything and everything. You are always looking for more and MORE RIGHT NOW! During the nesting phase I kept my head down and my “more” became more time in each day, more money to cover the bills, and more help with the children. When I recognized a bit of auto-pilot mentality surface I began looking for something to shake up the rut. For me, I love to create. Give me scissors, glue, paint, fabric, yarn…you name it and I’m creating. It’s therapeutic and satisfying. I also love to learn new things. I’m not an adrenaline junky so you won’t catch me skydiving or bungee jumping. BTW if you do, make sure I haven’t been kidnapped. In the next season, I’m hoping to travel and see more of this amazing and wondrous world.
What season of life are you in?
3 Strategies to Help Someone Become More Self-Aware - Dr. Tasha Eurich
CHALLENGE: Look within yourself for more. Activate the power you have to learn, seek connections, challenge yourself, and grow. Satisfaction comes from knowing you are living your best life!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 11, 2022
Tuesday Oct 11, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are waking up and taking notice that we’re in charge of hope. No longer will we resign to hopelessness or a feeling of powerlessness. No longer will we get swept away with all that is wrong forgetting that we play a part in our own happiness and hope - a BIG part. We can choose to see the light or be consumed with darkness. We can buy into what we see or spend our time visualizing what we want to see. When you meditate, calm yourself, and take a breather, what do you think about? Do you replay all that you’ve heard, spinning in a loop of fear, or do you think of solutions? What drives you to problem-solving?
I can’t stand to be stuck. That’s it. Whether it’s in a bad mood, financially behind, or that feeling of powerlessness. I take a moment to acknowledge it and then I say, “Whelp, here we are …now what?” When my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and facing a long road ahead he told me, we’re heading to the doctor to see what we’re dealing with here. I love that attitude. Life is full of challenges and setbacks but it’s also full of victory and joy. You have to see what you’re dealing with and find the opportunities, even if initially hard to see, to instill hope.
Karyn Hall Ph.D. gets us started with Finding Hope found at pyscologytoday.com
Let’s take a minute and learn a little more about Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
Over at Hope Grows I found a little more about the importance of hope
Jessie over at trackinghappiness.com gives us 4 Strategies to Find Hope in a Hopeless Situation
Charlie Furr Don't Quit, Don't Stop, Never Give Up
Tony Fahkry leaves us with Why The Power Of Hope Overcomes All Obstacles
CHALLENGE: turn away from the chaos and seek a radical change in your thinking. Realize that hope is within your grasp and choose to believe in what you can’t see. Hopelessness is not a destiny but a call to action.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 04, 2022
Tuesday Oct 04, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
Sometimes walking away and letting go can be the hardest thing to do. Letting go of people, ideas, regrets, routines, or desires. Hard work, focus, and even love may not be enough to control a situation and dictate the outcome. Sometimes you simply have to let go and realize it’s not your fight, it’s not your journey, and it’s not your life. But there is a way to do this...and that’s with Love.
Here’s a secret that I’m hoping is a revelation for you sooner rather than later. You can not change people. Waiting for someone to meet your expectations may be the cruelest irony. They will NEVER meet your expectations because it’s not theirs. Your hope should be they meet or exceed their own true potential. But your expectations are just that….your expectations.
- Last show was about managing our own expectations
- Who do you have expectations for?
- Are they realistic?
- Are they about you or about them?
- How many chances do you give?
- What does it take for you to let go?
Blog - Joyful Days - live well, be happy https://www.joyfuldays.com/let-go-of-expectations/
Shreya Dalela shares info on Practicing The Subtle Art Of Detachment found on her blog
CHALLENGE: Be aware of the power struggle in your own life and who’s pulling harder. Question your resistance and remember, you are worth more. Your time, your attention, your patience, and your love are worth more. Split the difference with yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!