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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show...we will be exposing the elephant in the room, exploring the why behind defiance or hurt feelings, and embracing a new perspective with hopefully understanding and tolerance. We’re aimed at addressing the power imbalance instead of avoiding it. Of course, we will come at the subject from many angles. The abuse of legitimate power and the misuse of perceived power. It may be helpful to use a personal and professional lens to understand what it means to push back and find your voice and when it’s appropriate. We should also be mindful of our own power and suitable use and squander. The word mindful may be the buzzword of the decade but it really is the key to understanding. Mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s about being aware from all angles taking into account all involved. Ready to tip the scales in an attempt to find balance?
I had a friend ask me to do a show on bullying. I haven’t done one before so of course, I agreed. When one hears the word bullying or to bully the first thought, at least for me, is the big boy on the playground picking on the smaller boy. It dawned on me that even though that was my first thought, it in no way represents all the facets of the subject and in fact, is a much too narrow view. So I looked up the definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). With my first impression of bullying I can say, I don’t have any first-hand knowledge. As a child I was always, for the most part, self-confident and extroverted. I might have been viewed as a leader instead of a follower. I can’t recall a time when someone picked on me at least to the point that it did harm or that I carried the memory with me.
But, when I consider the actual definition: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). I can think of many times that I have been or have been attempted to be coerced. In an attempt to seek harm? I’m not sure, intentional or not, it could be viewed as harmful. Perceived as vulnerable? Anytime someone is uninformed they are vulnerable so if you want to split hairs, and I think we should for this purpose then yes. With this new perspective on the definition, I can safely say, we’ve all been involved in a power imbalance at one time or another.
Now, I’m not going to bash the news and social media (even if mentioned) or go on a political tangent. Coercion is all around us. My goal is to shed some light and new perspectives that we can take on our journey of self-discovery. Knowledge is power! I think we can all start there.
First, let’s explore professionally…
CHALLENGE: find your voice and speak life and love into others as well as over your own life. The power imbalance shifts when you expose the discrepancies while gaining knowledge about your own thoughts and opinions.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show….we are zooming out to get a handle on what’s really going on and what we’re really dealing with. Sometimes the only way to shrink the challenge is to get a new perspective. Are you in the thick of it? You know, up close and maybe too personal to the problem. It’s hard to be objective when you’re staring into the eye of the giant. Back away a bit, gain some height, and a new vantage point. Ok, from up here, what do you see? It may seem like a simple technique but when you’re slogging it out in life it’s hard to take the time or do the climb. But all the more reason. What’s the alternative? Stay stuck, paralyzed by fear, unable to see your way out? Well you could but you’ll only last there for so long and OH the damage you’re doing to yourself in the meantime.
Or, you can take a big breath. Go on…take a BIG BEATHE. Now, let it out real slow. Still with me? Then the ceiling wasn’t falling as fast as you thought. Let’s jockey for a new position, up high where all those insurmountable problems shrink in size. Where we can pull in some peripheral context. Yep, he’s a giant alright but I got this and I can now see with a couple of keen moves this is all going to work out just right.
So I’m going to share some ideas, we’ll listen to a few experts, and attack this from multiple angles. Let’s get started!
Jordan Peterson on Keeping Things in Perspective in Your Life
Over at intelligentchange I found 6 Ways to Deal With Daily Challenges and Obstacles
CHALLENGE: take the time to seek a new perspective. Whether changing your vantage point or opening your mind to new ideas, you can shrink your challenges when you gain a new outlook.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are allowing the door to close, the song to end, and the chapter to play out because we’re moving on without the need for closure. Feels unfinished, huh? People want answers whether there are any or not. If not, we tend to fill in the blanks with the not-so-rosiest of answers. Are you thinking about your own unanswered questions or the time you didn’t receive closure? How did you move on? Maybe you didn’t and you’re still carrying shards of that failed relationship around with you, comparing every new encounter. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how dangerous that can be. Put yourself in their shoes. That’s it, it’s so difficult to see this from any other angle than the one you’re struggling with. What did I do? Where did I go wrong? How can I fix it? Who else is going to hurt me?
If you can’t get there on your own then I’ll move this topic around, from angle to angle for you, to make sure you’re seeing all the possible sides.
Wendy Rose Gould answers the question, What Is Closure in a Relationship?
Psych2go 7 Signs You're Ready for a Closure From a Relationship
Marc Chernoff shares more with 8 Effective Ways to Let Go and Move On
CHALLENGE: don’t be afraid to move on without having all the questions answered. Not every situation needs to be fully defined and not every situation offers you closure. Freedom from the old way of thinking can propel you into a future full of unlimited possibilities.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 18, 2022
Tuesday Oct 18, 2022
On this show…we are recognizing that unsettling feeling and listening to our restless hearts as we look for more. More meaning, more opportunity, more purpose, and more satisfaction. Unsure of where to look? You aren’t alone. So many of us get stuck in the ruts of the day-to-day monotony of life. CLIP What gets you excited about looking for more? Because the fact is, you have to want more to look for more. Maybe it’s experience and adventure or learning something new. Maybe it’s spending time with the precious people in your life and growing your connections. Whatever whispers to you that there’s more out than the routine of life, grab hold and ask for more.
I think there are seasons of your life when you’re naturally more curious. I can think of a few that I’ve already walked through. When you’re young and testing the waters of anything and everything. You are always looking for more and MORE RIGHT NOW! During the nesting phase I kept my head down and my “more” became more time in each day, more money to cover the bills, and more help with the children. When I recognized a bit of auto-pilot mentality surface I began looking for something to shake up the rut. For me, I love to create. Give me scissors, glue, paint, fabric, yarn…you name it and I’m creating. It’s therapeutic and satisfying. I also love to learn new things. I’m not an adrenaline junky so you won’t catch me skydiving or bungee jumping. BTW if you do, make sure I haven’t been kidnapped. In the next season, I’m hoping to travel and see more of this amazing and wondrous world.
What season of life are you in?
3 Strategies to Help Someone Become More Self-Aware - Dr. Tasha Eurich
CHALLENGE: Look within yourself for more. Activate the power you have to learn, seek connections, challenge yourself, and grow. Satisfaction comes from knowing you are living your best life!
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 11, 2022
Tuesday Oct 11, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are waking up and taking notice that we’re in charge of hope. No longer will we resign to hopelessness or a feeling of powerlessness. No longer will we get swept away with all that is wrong forgetting that we play a part in our own happiness and hope - a BIG part. We can choose to see the light or be consumed with darkness. We can buy into what we see or spend our time visualizing what we want to see. When you meditate, calm yourself, and take a breather, what do you think about? Do you replay all that you’ve heard, spinning in a loop of fear, or do you think of solutions? What drives you to problem-solving?
I can’t stand to be stuck. That’s it. Whether it’s in a bad mood, financially behind, or that feeling of powerlessness. I take a moment to acknowledge it and then I say, “Whelp, here we are …now what?” When my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and facing a long road ahead he told me, we’re heading to the doctor to see what we’re dealing with here. I love that attitude. Life is full of challenges and setbacks but it’s also full of victory and joy. You have to see what you’re dealing with and find the opportunities, even if initially hard to see, to instill hope.
Karyn Hall Ph.D. gets us started with Finding Hope found at pyscologytoday.com
Let’s take a minute and learn a little more about Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
Over at Hope Grows I found a little more about the importance of hope
Jessie over at trackinghappiness.com gives us 4 Strategies to Find Hope in a Hopeless Situation
Charlie Furr Don't Quit, Don't Stop, Never Give Up
Tony Fahkry leaves us with Why The Power Of Hope Overcomes All Obstacles
CHALLENGE: turn away from the chaos and seek a radical change in your thinking. Realize that hope is within your grasp and choose to believe in what you can’t see. Hopelessness is not a destiny but a call to action.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Oct 04, 2022
Tuesday Oct 04, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
Sometimes walking away and letting go can be the hardest thing to do. Letting go of people, ideas, regrets, routines, or desires. Hard work, focus, and even love may not be enough to control a situation and dictate the outcome. Sometimes you simply have to let go and realize it’s not your fight, it’s not your journey, and it’s not your life. But there is a way to do this...and that’s with Love.
Here’s a secret that I’m hoping is a revelation for you sooner rather than later. You can not change people. Waiting for someone to meet your expectations may be the cruelest irony. They will NEVER meet your expectations because it’s not theirs. Your hope should be they meet or exceed their own true potential. But your expectations are just that….your expectations.
- Last show was about managing our own expectations
- Who do you have expectations for?
- Are they realistic?
- Are they about you or about them?
- How many chances do you give?
- What does it take for you to let go?
Blog - Joyful Days - live well, be happy https://www.joyfuldays.com/let-go-of-expectations/
Shreya Dalela shares info on Practicing The Subtle Art Of Detachment found on her blog
CHALLENGE: Be aware of the power struggle in your own life and who’s pulling harder. Question your resistance and remember, you are worth more. Your time, your attention, your patience, and your love are worth more. Split the difference with yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Sep 27, 2022
Tuesday Sep 27, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are elevating our thinking and rising above for a new perspective. Life can be chaotic and the world may seem out of control but WE don’t have to get lost in the minutia trying to figure it all out. Are you shaking your head because you’ve had one of those days? I’m sure when you woke up this morning you had high hopes to soar through the day focused on only the positive only to get pushed and pulled into every traumatic, anxiety-induced, over-the-top issue possible. Ok breathe….stay with me here, what if, none of that needed your time and attention? I’m not suggesting and out of body experience here but let’s imagine ourselves floating up above all the problems of the world. From here we look down to put things into perspective. What do you see?
I love this visual and use it often. It reduces a mountain back down to a molehill. It allows me to prioritize when everything seems to want the same amount of attention, and it opens my eyes to the fact that I don’t have to spin every plate or catch every ball.
Everyone can picture a mouse maze, right? Now, don’t you know the mouse wishes he had your perspective right now? All he wants is some cheese, he’s hungry, he can smell it but from his vantage point, he only sees obstacle after obstacle, dead end after dead end. From your perspective, you can see the right path to the cheese without any problem - “Go there…no no, take a left, now a right, RUN You got it!”
The chaos of life can feel like that mouse maze where we keep going in circles and getting now where. What if we change our vantage point?
Jacqueline T. Hill shows us How to Develop Different Perspectives on Life found at lifehack.org
Preston Smiles - Change Your Perception Change Your Life
CHALLENGE: Stop running the rat race and rise above. Change your vantage point for a new perspective. You don’t have to participate in the same manner or at all. Search out a new route for your journey.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Sep 20, 2022
Tuesday Sep 20, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are flipping on our internal filters and giving ourselves ample time and space to consider our words and consider them wisely because our words matter! You’ve heard it before, there is life and death in your words. Research shows the average person speaks at least 7,000 words a day, with many speaking much more than that. The words you speak are your imprint on the world and dictate how people perceive you – and largely define you. What are you saying? How many of those 7,000 words you spoke were encouraging? How many included gossip or judgment? How many were the same words you spoke yesterday? How many involved a smile and how many were said through tears?
Your words matter. The words you say to yourself, out of your mouth, or in your head. The words you use to describe yourself to the people who love you and the ones you’ve just met. The words you use to fill a gap in your day or the ones you go out of your way to say. The words that shine a light on the good and the ones that reinforce the bad.
When is the last time you thought about your words? When is the last time you questioned, contradicted, or fought back against the words you heard when you were growing up that define you today? When is the last time you searched for new words to replace the old ones?
At Health Direct I found some important information about Self Talk.
Over at carolcooke.com I found 5 Reasons for Pushing Beyond Your Limits.
CHALLENGE: Take the time to consider your words, where are your 7,000 going? When you notice a negative turn either internally, in a mixed company, or directed toward someone else, remember that only you can course correct and get back on track.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Sep 13, 2022
Tuesday Sep 13, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are armed with a hoe and spade in hand as we attempt to pluck out our deeply rooted compulsive behavior of people pleasing. Now, before you question how bad could “pleasing” someone really be? I will just say stop, listen, and hold on to your hat! This episode is meant to be eye-opening to help you notice these characteristics in yourself and in others as a way to bring awareness and the opportunity for change.
I for one held out on addressing these issues longer than I should. Frankly, I was in denial. A notable characteristic in itself. I’m “helping people” hello, doesn’t anyone but me recognize this? For some reason, I just had the capacity to be able to take on more and solve everyone else’s problems while solving my own. Sounds reasonable right? Well if you just said yes then you are in as bad of shape as I was so stay tuned.
I didn’t know what people were referring to when they would say things like, take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. If I would have taken the time to do that, then they would have been in even more of a mess than they were to start with. Geez - looking back now I can see how ridiculous that line of thinking was but then, under that influence, without the awareness, it sounded perfectly normal. Thank you to CODA - Codependence Anonymous for opening my eyes.
JACK CANFIELD | The Law Of Attraction CHEAT CODE!
CHALLENGE: take an honest look at yourself and be willing to address your characteristics that aren’t serving you in a loving and positive way. You have the power to change your thinking and your behavior.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Sep 06, 2022
Tuesday Sep 06, 2022
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are pressing pause on our heat-seeking mission and adopting a new approach - what we seek lies within. Who knew? The books we’ve read, the miles we’ve traveled, the mantras we’ve memorized, and all this time it was closer than our backyard. Our power and peace are actually within us and they’ve been here the whole time! No sense blaming the snake that could’ve bit you. Be thankful that you are learning it now with plenty of time to activate them and use them going forward. So many times we are in search of someone to save us, entertain us, inspire us, motivate us, push us, or pull us. We can’t seem to get going because we haven't met the right person, read the right book, or heard the right podcast. So we wait, grumble, whine, ruminate, and even get angry. All the while the spigot within us remains untapped. Who couldn’t use a little more power and peace? Wait…I said who couldn’t, put those hands down.
Oh boy, if you’re looking for power all you have to do is Google it. Seriously, power, finding your power, being powerful, activating your power, and tapping into your power are all the craze these days. Why do you think that is? I’m assuming it’s because a lot of people are feeling pretty powerless these days and are grasping at anything and everything to feel even the least bit empowered.
So it’s within us? We’ve had this power all along? You mean I can stop what I’m doing and tap into my power at any moment? Yep. Let’s learn a little more and don’t forget peace. At the end of the day, it’s the only thing that carries us through until tomorrow. Peace and of course Hope.
Chiara Gizzi shares 3 SIMPLE STEPS TO ACCESS THE POWER WITHIN YOU found at iamfearlessoul.com
Ready for a Daily Power Practice? Carley Hauck gives us 10 Steps to Finding Inner Strength
Amber Murphy at declutterthemind.com helps us with 15 Ways to Achieve Inner Peace
CHALLENGE: Look within to tap into your power and your peace. Build in daily practice so that activating your gifts becomes second nature. Remember to intentionally share these gifts with those you meet to heighten the experience.
I Know YOU Can Do It!