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Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!
Episodes
Tuesday Aug 01, 2023
Tuesday Aug 01, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re staying engaged and committed to paying attention as we work to capture the conversation with active listening. The need to be heard is one of the most powerful motive forces in human nature. But who’s really listening….do you need me to repeat it? I said, who is listening? The world is full of distractions. A distraction that we create, technology in the hand, in front of our face, on our wrist, and in the background all while we are trying to navigate a busy life. The distraction that assaults us from every angle, marketers, popping ads, automatic video starts, commercials, deals, special offers…UGH, it’s all too much! How can you cut through the noise and focus on one person and one conversation?
I always thought I was a good listener. You know a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, and brainstorm with. But I wasn’t aware of the difference between listening and active listening until I became a coach. In sales, it helps to listen but you find yourself weeding through the information looking for pain points and buying signals so that you can capitalize on them. In a general conversation, you’re listening long enough to find commonality so that you can respond with something in the same context. A volley of sorts. Your friend says “This weekend we’re going to a concert…” Your brain hears WEEKEND and you start thinking about what you’re doing that weekend or CONCERT and which concerts you’ve seen and which ones you want to see so that when it’s your turn, you can return the volley with an interesting and relatable story. But just think, what did you miss while you were formulating your response?
At mindtools.com I found an introduction to Active Listening
and how to Hear What People are Really Saying
Adam Hayes explored the The Human Attention Span found on wyzowl.com
Johann Hari explains how Your attention didn’t collapse. It was stolen
Over at Simon Sinek’s youtube channel I found a different perspective: The Art of Listening
CHALLENGE: don’t just turn on your listening ears but really commit to dialing into a conversation as you seek to understand. Everyone wants a chance to be heard so receive before you give.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are taking in a big breath, releasing it slowly, and giving ourselves a much-needed time-out as we learn how to qualify and quantify our stress. Feeling frazzled? Perfectly normal if it’s from time to time. Buried and unsure how to rise above, we should take some time to unpack that a bit. See, not all stress should be created equal and even though the sky may feel like it’s falling, it’s not. Look up and while you’re at it, count to 10. We need to create some space between action and reaction so we can regain control over our thinking.
I have to say that I deal with stress and stressors pretty well. I wouldn’t say I’m as cool as a cucumber but I might say I’m hard to rattle. I developed this mindset at a much earlier age, I can only do what I can do. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a hard worker and am guilty of taking on too much most of the time but that kind of stress I like. But even I have a wall. That feeling of pressure when you have too many balls in the air and not enough hands to keep them up. Are we a glutton for punishment? Taking on more and more and more until like a house of cards, it all comes crashing down.
Good news, just as my stress is usually self-inflicted, you have some choices here. Let’s first strive to understand what stress is…
At the National Institute of Mental Heath, I found some answers about Is it stress or anxiety?
CHALLENGE: Before you succumb to the pressure and find yourself frazzled, take some time and make some space to understand what’s really going on, what you can control, and what you must detach from.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are going to “worry about ourselves” as we seek to understand the different characteristics of codependency. Please don’t immediately identify with or reject this behavior before we dive in and dig deeper. This is not a one-size fits all terminology nor is it a terminal practice. Instead, it’s a deeply rooted compulsive behavior that more than 90 percent of Americans display during their lifetimes. Are they all codependent? No. But could they benefit from becoming aware of these patterns and characteristics in an attempt to redirect their journey in a more positive direction? YES!
I remember the first time I heard the term codependent or rather, heard and rejected the term. Being fiercely independent, at least with some aspects of my life, all I could hear was the word “dependent” and I thought, “That couldn’t be me!” So like a Rumba, I hit wall after wall, trying to redirect my course only to hit another wall. It wasn’t until the second therapist suggested I read Melody Beattie’s book, Codependent No More, that I gave in. I do believe timing is everything and if I had read those words earlier, before I was ready to identify my own role, then they wouldn’t have landed quite the same way. But from the first chapter, I knew she was talking to me. It was like looking in a mirror, as hard as the reflection was to see. There she and her screwed-up thinking were, looking back at me saying, “Finally, now let’s get our act together!”.
Here are the official Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence found at coda.org
On the anchortherapy.org blog I found 7 WAYS TO LET GO OF CONTROL ISSUES
CHALLENGE: take care of your most important relationship, YOU. Detach with love and look inward. Identify what you want and how you feel. To give to others, you have to first, give to yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re doing a mental and verbal inventory check and audit, to become more aware of what we’re passing down and what we’re passing around. Where do our ideas and opinions come from? How are our biases formed? Are we as open and accepting to traits and traditions as receiving and regifting Grandma’s china or have we installed solid filtering systems, protecting our minds and hearts from the legacy transfer of limiting and negative beliefs? Not sure? Then you’re in the right place listening to some ideas that might help you question, understand, reframe, and rethink ideas and opinions that no longer serve you.
Have you ever played hot potato? If you haven't, let me explain. You must pretend you have a steaming hot potato in your hands and pass it around, making sure to let go of it as quickly as possible so you don’t get burnt. That means you have the hot potato only seconds before you pass it on.
Sounds kind of familiar, huh? When you encounter an idea, opinion, piece of news, or gossip (which are sometimes one and the same), how long do you sit with that information before passing it down or around? Do you take the time to question, wonder, research, or think? Or, are you so quick to inform that you pass it without a discerning thought?
Now, remember the telephone game? That is where a person whispers a word or phrase into the ear of the person next to them without any repeats and then that person, whispers what they heard to the next person, and so on and so on. The gag is when the last person repeats what they heard out loud to the group. They rarely have it correct or even close. Imagine how that idea could be impacting what we pass down and around.
Let’s start with what’s been passed down to you…
At The Center for Parenting Education, Audrey Krisbergh shares THE POWER OF FAMILY LEGACIES
CHALLENGE: be aware of what you think and say, where it came from, what you’re passing down, and what you’re passing around. Seek to understand, push back and test ideas and opinions that no longer serve you. You have the power to change your thinking.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jul 04, 2023
Tuesday Jul 04, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are checking our frequency, measuring our watts, and tapping into our power because we’re talking all about energy. Energy we store, energy we consume, and energy we share. Not sure about your hertz output? Maybe it’s different given the day, your mood, what has previously transpired, and what is yet to come. For electricity, you check the Kilowatt-hours that show up on your electricity bill. But what about your personal energy? It may take some effort and a deliberate check-in. We aren’t just talking about high energy or low, but everything in between. Positive and negative, productive and counterproductive. Can you change your frequency? Could you be more intentional with the energy you send out and could you be more protective about the energy you consume? The answer is yes. So let's all plugin, open our hearts and minds, and seek to understand.
You’ve heard me say it before, I have two speeds, on and off. But of course that isn’t true. I would say that I notice when I’m full-on into something and when I’m over it more than all the varying degrees in between. Make sense? What get’s you amped up? Charged or recharged, raring to go? I’m sure you’re getting excited just thinking about it…put a pin in that because we will revisit it. Now, what drains your energy storage banks? What truly takes it out of you and causes you to tap?
I would say people as an answer to both questions. I love people and I love pouring into people. As an Encouragementologist, I’m rewarded by the investment I make into others. But as sweet as the reward can be, it can be soured by toxic people. To me, being kind is so easy. I’ve read it takes more muscles, 43 to frown than it does to smile, only 13 but it feels like some people just want to be unhappy. Try as you might, nothing you say or do seems to change that and to me, that’s energy exhausting. Maybe it’s because I do care and do try so for that, I’m willing to keep going but the difference is measurable.
CRISTINA LOPEZ at Balance Media shares THE SCIENCE BEHIND GOOD VIBRATIONS
At jakeyou.com I found information on What’s the Vibe? 10 Types of Vibes (+ How We Sense Them)
Dr. Judith Orloff explains The 4 Laws of Energetic Attraction found on her website
On her youtubechannel I found a CBS interview on Energy Vampires. Let’s listen…
CHALLENGE: Monitor your energy; stored, consumed, and shared. You have the power to change your frequency to emit more positivity which in turn will lift those around you and effectively alter their daily trajectory.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Monday Jun 26, 2023
Monday Jun 26, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show… We are checking it twice, looking to the horizon, and consulting a trusted advisor as we discuss; a clock, a compass, and a companion. This show is not to scare you with reminders like, “You’re running out of time” or “Look at you, you’re still in the same spot” or even to provide a disclaimer like, “You can’t go it alone”. Instead, it’s to remind you how precious time is, and how important it could be to identify what you want so you know where you need to go. And to encourage you to look to or strengthen your inner circle to provide love, support, and inspiration along your journey. We all desire to go somewhere emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Do you think that might require some mindful preparation? Ready to pack your bags and pause the mail?
I attended a leadership conference the other day and came away so inspired. So I would say, they nailed it. Regardless of the business you're in, I think we can all appreciate a day of encouraging talks as we are reminded about the bigger picture and mission in life. It’s easy to get sucked into the day-to-day and lose sight of what’s important. We have meetings, emails, deadlines, and endless to-do’s. Even if you aren’t running the rat race anymore you can get preoccupied with the problems of the world with its perceived timelines and schedules.
How much time do you spend in silence, pondering life, and preparing for what’s next? That’s right ….silence. Not reading, watching, or listening to anything. Not surfing, or clicking, or posting anywhere. Just thinking. Not reminiscing, rehashing, or ruminating. Just thinking.
Time and space are so important to learn who, why, and what you need.
An Ode to Silence: Why You Need It in Your Life
And how to find more of it found at health.clevelandclinic.org
Here are: 7 Tips to Help You Embark on a Journey of Self Discovery found at Bodhiheart.com
Nick Wignall leaves us with 4 Psychological Habits of Highly Self-Aware People found at medium.com
CHALLENGE: pack light for your journey as you will pick up plenty of tools along your way. Maximize your time as you shoot for goals allowing those who care to support your efforts. Build the necessary network by investing your time and energy into others.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Monday Jun 19, 2023
Monday Jun 19, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are setting aside our all-or-nothing thinking, taking a second and maybe even a third look, as we strive to see the in-between, somewhere between this and that. Before you accept it for what you think IT is, formulate a strong opinion, and develop your truth, take another look. Open your mind to alternative ideas. Accept that quite possibly, you don’t have all the answers and embrace something new. See one door can be the beginning but it’s never the end. One door leads to the next, and then the next, and then another as you expand your thinking. The journey is the fun part and once you have enlightenment, well then you re-pack, find a new direction, and set out for uncharted territory. Old dogs can’t learn new tricks is a myth. Your mind, soul, and spirit are craving expiration. Let’s go!
First let me take a poll, how many of you identify with this type of thinking? Do you have a hot or cold mentality? Up or down, yes or no, and not much in between. I always say I have two speeds…. full-on throttle or OFF. But how much are we missing in the in-between? Could there be varying shades of everything or are black and white our only two options? I for one, don’t want to get stuck in my ways, narrow my view, or limit my possibilities.
You too? Well then, let’s set out to explore these unknown lands of the in-between.
Dr. Katharina Star shares How to Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking found at verywellmind.com
CHALLENGE: Find the in-between of your all-or-nothing thinking as you open up your heart and mind to embrace the learning. Seek to understand by encouraging others to share their ideas and opinions.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re turning down the volume of outside influences, past mistakes, and limiting beliefs to turn inward as we listen to our gut and follow our heart. Do you feel pushed, pulled, and prodded not really sure what to believe or how to feel? When is the last time you checked in with your own thoughts? That’s right, you have them, and on a gut level, you know what sits right with you and what causes you to pause or shut down. So many times we ignore how we think and feel or worse, never even give ourselves the consideration that we might even have an opinion. We’re quick to jump into the mainstream and adopt what we think we hear and believe to be the popular opinion. Because why? To belong, to feel a part of something, to align versus being out of alignment. Maybe your own personal opinion is the popular one and maybe it’s not. Let’s check with ourselves to see.
Some might say I live in a bubble but I see it differently. Check….I’ve reached the first checkpoint, considering how I see it. I have spent a good amount of time on self-reflection along this journey to self discovery. One of the first things I learned is that I didn’t always value my own thoughts and opinions and was quick to morph to fit in. It took some effort to untangle this web of patterns to see what was truly authentic and what was contrived. I have also had the luxury of age. Yep…I said it. I may not always refer to aging as a luxury but in cases of self-awareness and from an experiential context, it’s the best. There is this bizarre switch that flips where as you start figuring things out you start caring less about what others think. I’m not referring to giving up and not caring, I’m talking about not letting self-doubt and the potential criticism of others creep in. It’s beautiful. Now the icing would be if the physical deterioration would instead follow the path of mental enlightenment…oh well.
Karen Young offers 9 Ways to Tap Into Your Intuition (And Why You’ll Want To) found at heysigmun.com
CHALLENGE: book time to check in with yourself; heart, mind, and gut to understand and embrace your own ideas, thoughts, and opinions. You matter and getting in touch with who you are will help you uncover your authentic self.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday Jun 06, 2023
Tuesday Jun 06, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re focused on finding balance, being flexible, and quick to pivot to secure footing as we strive to ride the ways of constant change. You’ve heard it before, “the only thing consistent, is change”. It feels like every era and generation have claimed the same. Some change is good, necessary, and timely. Some change happens without warning or reason. Sometimes we’re making the change, necessary or impulsive, and other times it's change we neither asked for nor wanted. Why all the changes?
Socrates said, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new”. Well, the secret isn’t always so plain and obvious or EASY. How do you embrace change? Or maybe I should ask, are you able to easily embrace change or is rejection your go-to? Let’s talk about this subject and look at change from several angles; why, why now, how to roll with the punches, and even how to be satisfied with gratitude and acceptance.
When I look at change, professionally and personally, I see vast differences and then some similarities and patterns. Professionally, I work in technology so change is a must and basically out of our control. Dog years is multiplying their age by seven. A 10-year-old dog is roughly the same “age” as a 70-year-old person. A technology year can be more like 20 human years; your 3-year-old computer could be more like a 60-year-old person. Think about software companies and the pressure to stay current. Like a Rock Star trying to stay on top with another hit record. Companies who sell technology are feeling the same pressure, to stay relevant, capture more of the market, pay back investors…GO GO GO!
Personally, I would like to say I’m a creature of habit, however, if you talk to my family or friends they would say I’m constantly evolving. I do like a good routine though. I find comfort in the familiar and predictable. As much as I like adventure, I enjoy some elements of predictability.
CHALLENGE: embrace change, whether you’re currently consumed by it or you are desperately seeking it. Steady yourself and take control so you’re riding the wave vs being pulled under.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Tuesday May 30, 2023
Tuesday May 30, 2023
SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we’re committing to learning from the past, giving honor to the experiences that shaped all of us, and leaning into the legacy we want to leave. We have a tendency to gloss over, rewrite, or try and forget the past or what no longer serves us. A past that might be tainted with mistakes and failures. It’s easier to remember the good stuff than to relive the struggle but where is the learning? What happens if we forget without forgiving? We are all on a journey with good intentions, goals, and dreams but we’re also evolving. We are and those that came before us did too. How many times can you look back over your short life span and say, “Oh if I knew then what I know now…”? Think about hundreds of years. If they only knew then what we know now. But that isn’t how life works, that’s not how progress is made, and how evolution unfolds. So they or maybe you, missed the mark. Are you supposed to forget it happened or the impact it made good or bad? Erase it and start from here? We will all fall, make choices we regret, and steer our lives in and out of progress more than once along our journey. A legacy is the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. that took place in the past, or of a person’s life. Cumulative not the punchline or moral of the story.
So today, looking over your body of work, what legacy are you leaving? What past events, good or bad, have shaped the person you are now? What struggle in your life can you honor and be grateful for?
On the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s website I found Why should you study history?
On fs.blog I found We Are What We Remember
Jasmine Tanguay shares Ways to Leave a Meaningful, Lasting Legacy found at joincake.com
CHALLENGE: never forget what got you here. The good, bad, and the ugly. What you conquered gave you the momentum to carve a unique path forward for yourself. Take time to share your lessons as you lean into leaving a meaningful legacy.
I Know YOU Can Do It!