Redefining Denial: It's Not Complicated, It's Just Hard

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are redefining denial to determine if it’s complicated or just hard. Raise your hand if you’ve gotten stuck in a procrastination loop because to change, let go, and adopt a new behavior is just hard. So hard it feels impossible!  Life doesn’t have to be complicated to be hard. And reducing your options to go or don’t go doesn’t limit your possibilities. Varying degrees and options can sometimes provide too many hiding places for procrastination and denial. Let’s lay it all out in the open and be honest with ourselves, what is preventing you from moving forward? Whether it’s to obtain new skills, build stronger relationships, better your situation, or just open yourself up to what life has in store for you. 

You know how sometimes it feels like putting things off or pretending a problem isn't there is just easier? It's because facing a challenge head-on can be scary or uncomfortable. Procrastination gives us a break from the stress or discomfort, even though it often makes things more stressful later on. Denial is similar—it lets us avoid admitting hard truths about ourselves or our situations, which can protect our egos. In the short term, both procrastination and denial can help us deal with tough emotions or situations, but in the long run, they can hold us back from growing and being truly well.

Maybe it’s that talk you need to have, or that habit you need to address, or that chore you need to do….none of it sounds fun, it just sounds hard. So you know what they say, out of sight out of mind. Push it back until we “feel” like doing it. Newsflash, it’s hard so you will never feel like doing it. Is it important, is it good for you, is it good for the other person (if there is one) then get out of your own way and stop self-sabotaging progress! 

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” — Michael Landon

I love reading about history, even historical fiction. The time is accurate even if the characters are fictitious. I love looking back in time because it reminds me of how far we have come. For instance, if my microwave goes out and I have to warm something the old-fashioned way …well then, I like to remember a simpler time when they first had to make a fire by hand to even start their day. You get my gist. 

​​Sourena Vasseghi asks IS IT HARD OR IS IT CHALLENGING on his blog

Kaitlin Vogel provides some strategies as she asks Feeling Stuck? How to Remove Those Roadblocks on Psych Central

Heidi Godman shares more on Denial: How it hurts, how it helps, and how to cope found on Harvard Health

When life feels particularly challenging, it can be tough to navigate through the difficulties. Here are some strategies to help you get over the hump:

1. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support. Talking about your feelings can help you feel less alone.
2. Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Get enough sleep, eat healthily, exercise, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
3. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: If you're feeling overwhelmed, break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Focus on completing one step at a time.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Be gentle with yourself and set realistic expectations. It's okay to not be perfect or to need help.
5. Focus on What You Can Control: Identify aspects of the situation that you can control and focus your energy there. Let go of things that are beyond your control.
6. Practice Mindfulness or Meditation: These practices can help you stay present and reduce stress and anxiety.
7. Find Meaning: Reflect on the situation and try to find meaning or lessons that can be learned from it. This can help you see the situation in a more positive light.
8. Engage in Activities That Bring You Comfort: Whether it's reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature, engaging in activities that bring you comfort can help you cope with difficult times.
9. Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to cope, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to better manage your emotions and stress.
10. Stay Connected: Stay connected with others, even if it's just a brief phone call or text. Social support can be incredibly valuable during tough times.

Remember, it's okay to ask for help when you need it. You don't have to go through difficult times alone.

CHALLENGE: Put things in perspective, is it complicated or just hard? Finding a balance between negative and positive thinking involves recognizing and challenging extreme thoughts, considering alternative perspectives, and acknowledging both the challenges and the strengths in any situation. It’s time to take action!

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!