On this show...you’re receiving a promotion! Congratulations! From Assistant to Manager, putting you in charge of your own life. From strategy to tactical application, the decisions are yours. You’re in charge! So what’s your first move? You might need to spend a little time establishing yourself in your new role which might mean communicating to those around you a new set of expectations. No longer will you take a back seat and let someone else drive. No longer will you doubt your ideas seeking validation from others. No longer will you put things on the backburner, giving way to fear. You are the head honcho and from this day forward the choices are yours.
So let’s start by determining where you are. Not necessarily physically. I hope you’re in a safe, comfortable space open to new ideas and perspectives. But I’m referring to logistically and emotionally on your journey. Is this a promotion for the first time in your life? Have you ever achieved management level where you are calling all the shots? No net, no answering to the chief of staff, just you? OR were you there and then for some reason, twists and turns of life, someone took the helm and you were demoted? Maybe you’ve gotten comfortable being #2 and not having to take responsibility for your life strategy. For some reason, along the way, you felt unqualified.
Maybe you’re at a crossroads realizing life doesn’t meet your expectations when you’re not in charge of it. Taking a passive role expecting aggressive action is futile. If you want to see change you have to be a change agent and make it happen.
- You give in to guilt trips.
- You allow someone else's opinion of you to dictate your self-worth.
- You don't establish healthy boundaries.
- You complain about all the things you have to do.
- You hold grudges.
- You change your goals because you were rejected.
- You set out to prove someone wrong.
- You let other people bring out the worst in you.
- You invest time into talking about people that you don't like.
- You work hard to avoid criticism.
I have always felt in charge of my own life labeling myself as fiercely independent. I’m outspoken and typically decisive when it comes to business. But I completely identify with more than five from that list. I am a people-pleaser and even though I’ve spent a lot of time understanding that behavior and making changes based on my level of awareness, I can still stumble with those old and familiar feelings.
In many aspects of my life, I crave validation. UGH, I don’t want to, trust me. I can do something or create something and feel proud and comfortable. Why can’t that feeling be enough? Why do I have to seek someone else’s approval? Do you identify with that feeling?
Struggling with low self-esteem or an approval-seeking personality? You are not alone. It’s common to want to feel validated at times. But if seeking approval is when your self-esteem and overall well-being are riding on the opinions of others, it’s time to learn how to let go of this temporary high.
- Think about the kind of approval you seek (ie. appearance, wealth, success, love, worthiness).
- Know that overcoming the need for approval is not about changing others in your life (however, a toxic environment may be a component). Your self-worth journey begins and ends with you.
- Dig deep and determine the type of approval-seeking personality you identify with most. What is holding you back from authenticity?
Awareness might seem as overused as mindfulness but it’s a critical step if you want to see real change in your life. Change starts with you and only happens if you first evaluate where you are and what you need to do to get moving in the right direction. This new direction is great but never really a clear path void of any challenges. Understanding yourself and your tendencies is an awareness that can help you navigate the best path and give you the tools you need to modify, re-engineer, or simply dust yourself off and try again.
Being mindful gives you the chance to learn new things about yourself every day. It gives you the freedom to get lost in your own thoughts, to fantasize about outcomes, and visualize what needs to happen to get where you want to go. Spend some time with yourself, wondering, and problem-solving. Don’t be so quick to differ from another person. You have the power!
- Realize that it's important to start taking charge of your own life.
- Say ‘No’ to help.
- Say ‘No’ to choices that make you unhappy.
- Realize that you only have the power you decide to build.
- Know that life is a journey.
I go into a section on lemons and lemonade….super fun (well maybe not)
- Make a choice.
- Be the authority.
- Get educated.
- Take action.
Self-empowerment is about taking charge and responsibility. Through feeling powerful one becomes fearless. When one becomes fearless, life becomes limitless.
If you want something to change, change something. Start NOW, and do not waste another minute feeling less than great!
CHALLENGE: evaluate your current role in your life to determine if you’re assisting someone else in making decisions or if you’ve, in fact, taken a management role and are owning your own life. You have the power to be strategic and tactical, actively leading your own journey,
I Know YOU Can Do It!