Establishing Healthy Boundaries

December 4, 2018


“You change for two reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to.” ~Unknown

Boundary - a line that marks the limits.

Have your limits been tested? Are your boundaries frequently crossed or violated? How strong is your perimeter?

Developing a healthy boundary is establishing a system of rules that protect you from overextending yourself and being taken advantage of or harmed. If your nature is to nurture and take care of others, it’s easy for these boundaries to be fuzzy or unclear. Leaving yourself open and vulnerable.

Setting strong guidelines for how you expect to be treated helps you regain your power and gives others a clearer expectation.  But here’s the key, you can’t just say it one time and expect everyone to respect your wishes. You have to lead by example and stay firm. If you say one thing, then bend when you feel weak or guilty, you create that level of expectation, “Well that’s what she says, but it’s not really what she means”.

So visualize building this boundary around you at a healthy and safe distance. How tall is it? Do you need a wall or will a fence do? What did you use to build your boundary?

Maybe your boundary involves time for yourself. Schedule it, and make it reoccurring.

Maybe your boundary is about respect and how people speak to you. Model this in your own daily communication.

If your boundary is having the ability to say NO. Exercise that, start small but be firm.

What if your boundary is eliminating toxic people. Take a moral inventory and whether family, friend or co-worker, if they are consistently adding negativity to your life, take a step back and create distance.

Creating a healthy boundary is about taking care of yourself, preventing negativity, and adding space for things that bring you joy.

CHALLENGE: make a list and evaluate what is bringing you joy and what is preventing it. Don’t get overwhelmed with thoughts of a total life makeover, take one thing at a time and start building your boundary. When you are challenged, refer to this list. It’s up to you to hold your perimeter. When you do this consistently, the attacks will come fewer and fewer.

I know YOU can do it!

Musical Feature: Escaping Pavement